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HawkerHurricane Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-03 05:05 PM
Original message
Late Charges (funny)
If you have ever had to deal with a major corporation's customer service then you will really appreciate this story.

"My Aunt died this past January. Citi Bank billed her for February and March for their monthly service charge on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge . . . the balance had been $0.00 . . . now was somewhere around $60.00)

I placed the following phone call to CitiBank:

Me: "I am calling to tell you that she died in January."

CitiBank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."

Me: "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections . . ."

CitiBank: "Since it is 2 months past due, it already has been."

Me: "So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"

CitiBank: "Either report her account to the frauds division, or report her to the credit bureau . . . maybe both!"

Me: "Do you think God will be mad at her?"

CitiBank:" . . . excuse me . . . ?"

Me: "Did you understand what I was explaining to you . . . the part about her being dead?"

CitiBank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor!"

(Supervisor gets on the phone.)

Me: ''I'm calling to tell you she died in January."

CitiBank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."

Me: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"

CitiBank: " . . . (stammer)" . . . "Are you her lawyer?"

Me: "No, I'm her great nephew." (Lawyer info given . . . )

CitiBank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"

Me: "Sure." (Fax number is given.)

- (After they get the fax.)

CitiBank: "Our system just isn't set-up for death . . ."

Me: "Oh . . ."

CitiBank: "I don't know what more I can do to help . . ."

Me: "Well . . . if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her . . . I suppose . . . don't really think she will care . . . "

CitiBank: "Well . . . the late fees and charges do still apply."

Me: "'Would you like her new billing address?"

CitiBank: "That might help."

Me: " (Odessa Memorial Cemetery #### Hwy 129 and plot number given.)

CitiBank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!"

Me: "And what do you do with dead people on your planet?!!"
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matcom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-03 05:10 PM
Response to Original message
1. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
FUCKING PRICELESS!!!

:thumbsup:
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BlueJazz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-03 05:11 PM
Response to Original message
2. Geez....That is funny
I wonder if she has to pay the 60 bucks before they'll
let her pass into the afterlife....
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bif Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-03 05:11 PM
Response to Original message
3. Bril

thanks for the chuckle.
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Ilsa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-03 05:15 PM
Response to Original message
4. God what a shocker.
Still trying to collect after you're dead.

Some women's magazine kept calling my dad after my mom passed away, wanting him to renew the subscription. He told them he wasn't interested in reading Ladies Home Journal, and neither was his late wife. I guess the sales people have to document that you tell them "No Thank you" "NO!" and "Leave me the F__k alone" before they stop calling.
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Hawkeye-X Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-03 05:17 PM
Response to Original message
5. Very priceless.. I agree
Edited on Mon Sep-22-03 05:19 PM by HawkeyeX
And I still get donation pleas from the Jewish charities for my grandfather -- and he's been dead for two years now. (and I'm living in his house, of course). My dad keeps asking if there's new mail for his father, and of course, I bring him a grocery bag full of charity mails -- what he does with it? Dump it in the trash.

Only key mails such as property tax notices or any significant mail (such as handwritten mails addressed to my grandfather) gets immediate attention.

Edit: Oh and I still get phone calls from DAV asking if they wanted me to donate anything -- sure -- just haul shit off the basement full of my grandfather's junk. With my father's approval, of course. This includes false teeth materials and dental material -- up until he was about 90, he was a denture specialist, but then he couldn't handle it. He actually had to change his phone number for them to get the drift that he was retired.

Hawkeye-X
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scarlet_owl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-03 05:18 PM
Response to Original message
6. HoooHoo Hoooooooooo!
I needed a laugh.
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Aristus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-03 05:22 PM
Response to Original message
7. That's priceless. Sorry about your great-aunt.
Have you ever heard Shelly Berman's comedy monologue "Call to a Department Store?" It's kinda like your situation, only he was trying to be funny.
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HawkerHurricane Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-03 05:25 PM
Response to Reply #7
9. oops
it's just a story, not my great Aunt. Sorry for the confusion.
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Aristus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-03 06:43 PM
Response to Reply #9
11. Oh.
Thanks. Glad no one's dead.
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xray s Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-03 05:24 PM
Response to Original message
8. My father-in-law passed away in '98...
...and we STILL get scam phone solicitation calls for him (He lived with us before he passed away. Once he fell for a phone scam. Once you get on those lists you never get off them).

Anyway...I just tell them that he is in heaven, where phone calls from hell are never answered.
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FireHeart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-03 06:21 PM
Response to Original message
10. This kind of thing really isn't all that uncommon.
Relative of mine passed away a few years ago. His wife tried to close his charge card account. She was told that according to company policy, the ONLY person who could close the account was the account holder. To this day, (as far as I know) she's still getting "billing" statements with $0.00 due. A year ago, they increased his credit limit from $5000 to $10000...because of his fine credit standing.

Go figure. :evilgrin:

Whatta world.
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TrogL Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-03 06:46 PM
Response to Original message
12. When I'm feeling particularly malicious
when telephone solicitors phone and ask to speak to the "lady of the house" I say "she's dead".

Best response was to overhear rustling pages as someone frantically paged through the cheat sheet trying to figure out what to say.
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HawkerHurricane Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-03 07:09 PM
Response to Reply #12
13. I do something similar...
If someone says "Is Mr. Hawker Hurricane there"
OR
"Is the person in charge of the house's finances there"

I'll tell them "Just a minute" and put on my 4 year old son (who happens to have the same first and last name as me).

He has fun, they have fun, fun had all around.
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BelgianMadCow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-03 07:52 PM
Response to Original message
14. LOL
good one - I'll get it to my colleagues at the tech customer service where I work :-)
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