New DU Group requested: The Cult of Skinner.

[short bus president]

I had a vision in my dreaming last night. Skinner was there, sitting atop a big poofy chair, keeping a watchful eye over his realm. Omnipotent, omniscient, and ever-present.

He wasn't one of those boring predestination-type god-like figures, either. He was INVOLVED, man. He knew in depth what each DUer had in his/her heart and/or mind. He steered some people towards each other, and others away from each other, and drove some into frantic fits of madness just for fun. He guided the mods almost instantaneously to the forbidden orgy threads, to keep his dominion clean and pure. And he sometimes read and edited people's PMs to each other just to make sure that in the end, his will was done. Oh, and he sometimes struck people down with pestilence and plague, but usually only freetard disruptors. And the unfortunate few he picked to be his Job-type folks, but you really can't deny a god-like figure a few of those, right?

Towards the end of the vision, he recognized my presence, and he said, "shortbus, my son, you must go forth and start a DU group to promote the The Cult of Skinner." He also instructed me to start a paypal account in leiu of a collection plate. I'm working on it, oh almighty lord and master of DU! Don't strike me down!

I need the usual 10 donor-status members...

[NYC Liberal]

1. So what's your mission statement?

[Midlodemocrat]

2. Do we need one? After all, it is Skinner.

[short bus president]

6. You know, the usual stuff...

collect donations, preach the gospel, walled compound, kool-aid, removal of sex organs...

[NYC Liberal]

10. Do we get to offer burnt sacrifices too?!

[short bus president]

15. Why do you think

we REMOVE the sex organs? No way in hell you can roast a wang on the stalk.

[NYC Liberal]

17. Can we capture some Freepers and remove THEIR

sex organs?

Oh wait...................

[jdots]

3. yes and the Skinner Cult is called the " DIFFYS "

pay pal takes I.O.U.s now i am eternally indebted to him.

[JimmyJazz]

4. You need to lay off the spicy foods before bedtime, dear.

[short bus president]

5. Heh. Heh heh.

You said "lay."

[helnwhls]

7. oh we are not worthy

[short bus president]

8. Nice start!

But are you properly prostrating yerself before the keyboard when you type that? It's from yer fingertips to Skinner's eyeballs, ya know.

[DS1]

9. pass that shit to the left, man

[short bus president]

12. NOT TIL I GET MY BEARD-HAIR MERKIN!

You shall rue the day you denied Lord Skinner's prophet and favorite son the beard-hair merkin he desires!

[GOPisEvil]

11. Shall we offer prayers and offerings upon Romeo?

[short bus president]

13. I dunno..

but I'm pretty sure some ritualized Shiner-consumption and hot, steamy man-love is in order.

[NYC Liberal]

14. A man-date with Skinner?

[FizzFuzz]

16. Shortbus the Baptist

John the shortbus. Or something. (I'm not up on my bible, but J the B was kind of a PR guy for JC, right?)

you too funny!!

[robbedvoter]

18. All praise the mighty Skinner! Sacrifice goats and chicken!

Seriously - the idea of diversifying DU in interest groups saved my sanity yet again (the first time being in 2001). So, for all these reasons, I'll join the cult!