Pirate jokes! (post 'em if you've got em!)

[Guy Fawkes]

Q:What did the pirate say when asked about the wheel around his belt?
A: "Ar, its drivin' me nuts!"

Q:Why couldn't the kids get into the pirate movie?
A:It was rated Arrrrrrr.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

1. This is the only one I know:

A seaman meets a pirate in a bar. The two men take turns boasting of their adventures on the high seas.

The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, hook, and an eyepatch. He asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?"


The pirate replies, "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out a shark bit my leg off."


"Wow!" said the seaman. "What about your hook"?

"Well," replied the pirate, "while my men and I were plundering in the middle east, I was caught stealing from a merchant. I was arrested and my hand was cut off."

"Incredible!" remarked the seaman. "How did you get the eyepatch?"

"A sea gull dropping fell into my eye," replied the pirate.

"You lost your eye to a sea gull dropping?" the sailor asked incredulously.

"Well," said the pirate, "it was my first day with the hook..."

[Tom Kitten]

2. Why did the grocer get run out of town?

He charged a buck an ear for corn!

Aaargh! 'Tis really lame, but me pegleg's sufferin' from shipworms and I'm tilting to the wind!