My GF of 18 months dumped me because of
JohnKleeb
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Sat Nov-06-04 10:05 PM
Original message
My GF of 18 months dumped me because of
ahh I digress, Ive never even had a girlfriend.
GRLMGC
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Sat Nov-06-04 10:06 PM
Response to Original message
i've only ever had one bf and I dated him for a month so it doesn't count. hehehe :)
JohnKleeb
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Sat Nov-06-04 10:07 PM
Response to Reply #1
aePrime
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Sat Nov-06-04 10:07 PM
Response to Original message
3. If it makes you feel better
Edited on Sat Nov-06-04 10:08 PM by aePrime
I've never had a boyfriend. I doubt my wife would approve. On edit: I wasn't trying to rub in the fact that I'm married, I was trying to be funny! :)
JohnKleeb
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Sat Nov-06-04 10:09 PM
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LDS Jock
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Sat Nov-06-04 10:10 PM
Response to Original message
listen to bob dole and try viagra
JohnKleeb
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Sat Nov-06-04 10:11 PM
Response to Reply #5
7. no Ive never had a girlfriend
but I do have a crush on one if that counts :).
LDS Jock
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Sat Nov-06-04 10:13 PM
Response to Reply #7
14. is she a Democrat? n/t
JohnKleeb
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Sat Nov-06-04 10:14 PM
Response to Reply #14
getoffmytrain
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Sat Nov-06-04 10:11 PM
Response to Original message
have an awesome porn stash! :-)
JohnKleeb
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Sat Nov-06-04 10:12 PM
Response to Reply #6
but my stash is so, so. My recommendition, anything sans dick is good porn if you like girls :D.
Droopy
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Sat Nov-06-04 10:11 PM
Response to Original message
8. I foresee a girlfriend in your future pretty soon
Treat her right, unlike some other people, and she'll hang around.
JohnKleeb
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Sat Nov-06-04 10:12 PM
Response to Reply #8
As I said, I do have a girl I do like.
Taverner
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Sat Nov-06-04 10:12 PM
Response to Reply #8
13. Yes, and if she aske "Does this dress make me look fat"
Realize, this is a loaded question. ALWAYS answer "of course not! - nothing could make you look fat :)"
JohnKleeb
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Sat Nov-06-04 10:14 PM
Response to Reply #13
CAcyclist
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Sun Nov-07-04 12:50 AM
Response to Reply #17
66. Also, if she points out how pretty some other girl is
that's your cue to say"really? she couldn't hold a candle to you."
dorktv
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Sat Nov-06-04 10:14 PM
Response to Reply #13
18. I firgured out a new way to get guys in trouble:
Does this outfit make me bulge wrong?
Droopy
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Sat Nov-06-04 10:17 PM
Response to Reply #18
19. No you bulge in all the right places my sweet.
dorktv
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Sat Nov-06-04 10:19 PM
Response to Reply #19
Um how about.... Does this dress make my legs look celulitoidal?
Droopy
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Sat Nov-06-04 10:24 PM
Response to Reply #22
25. No your legs are like smooth silk that I could caress all night.
dorktv
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Sat Nov-06-04 10:27 PM
Response to Reply #25
Are my toenails fungaloidy?
Droopy
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Sat Nov-06-04 10:32 PM
Response to Reply #27
34. No, you have the feet of a goddess my love
Is it getting hot in here?
dorktv
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Sat Nov-06-04 10:34 PM
Response to Reply #34
Are my sweat glands spoogy?
Droopy
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Sat Nov-06-04 10:37 PM
Response to Reply #37
39. The scent of your sweat is like an aphrodisiac.
Edited on Sat Nov-06-04 10:38 PM by Droopy
dorktv
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Sat Nov-06-04 10:44 PM
Response to Reply #39
40. Damn...I am trouble finding more things to whine about
Do my armpits look hairy?
Droopy
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Sat Nov-06-04 10:48 PM
Response to Reply #40
41. You can leave them as hairy as you like dear. I don't mind.
I know all the right answers, but I haven't been with a woman in nine years. It might well be why I know all the right answers.
dorktv
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Sat Nov-06-04 10:50 PM
Response to Reply #41
42. Why on Earth would you be single when
you know all the right answers?
Droopy
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Sat Nov-06-04 10:57 PM
Response to Reply #42
43. That's a good question
maybe I should ask all the women in southwest Ohio that. "Hey, lady, I've got all the right answers. I'm your answer man. Wanna ask me a question?"
dorktv
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Sun Nov-07-04 12:20 AM
Response to Reply #43
64. *asks you about turtles*
Now see you need to come to AZ.
ogradda
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Sat Nov-06-04 11:02 PM
Response to Reply #34
44. o.k. enough from you!
i think i'm starting to fall in love :)
Droopy
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Sat Nov-06-04 11:09 PM
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46. Thank you sweet heart
In actuality, I'm just an average joe who adores women. I will adore you if you would like.
ogradda
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Sat Nov-06-04 11:17 PM
Response to Reply #46
there must be SOME excuse i have for going to ohio...
Droopy
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Sat Nov-06-04 11:25 PM
Response to Reply #51
54. I would like to say I'll come to you, but
I've got a job and a house so I must be responsible. But if you ever come around Ohio way I'll give you all that I can. I'm flattered.
Borgnine
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Sat Nov-06-04 10:12 PM
Response to Original message
And I'm nearly 21, so you're still good. (Note: It's a lack of self-esteem to approach women that plagues me)
Zuni
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Sat Nov-06-04 10:29 PM
Response to Reply #10
32. I used to have that problem
and I still lack self esteem, but I do not show it. I act cool and confident. Do not let them see your weakness.
GingerSnaps
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Sat Nov-06-04 10:12 PM
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All of us girls love you on DU :loveya:
JohnKleeb
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Sat Nov-06-04 10:13 PM
Response to Reply #12
this really was a copycat post but I dont nor have I ever had one but damn there are so many good looking girls out there. Oh how I love the dark haired and dark eyed ones. So nice.
exJW
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Sat Nov-06-04 10:17 PM
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.... I bet her socks would get squishy just thinkin' about you, brother!
short bus president
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Sat Nov-06-04 10:18 PM
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21. You wait'll we get to Germany, Kleeb.
Memorize the following phrase: "Frau, essen bitte meine Wurst" and you're GOLDEN! ;-)
JohnKleeb
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Sat Nov-06-04 10:23 PM
Response to Reply #21
23. I dont wanna get slapped
:) and besides I like the dark haired, dark eyed girls.
short bus president
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Sat Nov-06-04 10:31 PM
Response to Reply #23
They've allowed those all over Germany since the wall came down. Bless that Reagan! Now please excuse me while I vomit. Drunk as I am, it did me way wrong to type that. Ewwwwwwwww!
JohnKleeb
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Sat Nov-06-04 10:32 PM
Response to Reply #33
I like girls like myself, more dark haired, tanner, and dark eyed.
CAcyclist
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Sun Nov-07-04 12:54 AM
Response to Reply #23
68. I'm German and I have dark hair and brown eyes
but probably a bit too old for you
Placebo
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Sat Nov-06-04 10:23 PM
Response to Original message
Senator Lamb
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Sat Nov-06-04 10:26 PM
Response to Reply #24
never had a girlfriend. its not like im unattractive or a big nerd or anything. just very shy and really cant relate to people my age. a loner. i wish i had a girlfriend
JohnKleeb
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Sat Nov-06-04 10:29 PM
Response to Reply #26
30. me too I am shy but Ive grown more extroverted lately
I can relate to people my age ok though I am a bit of a nerd, I like to be friendly and really nice with the girls, make em laugh, I am not much of a flirter honestly.
JohnKleeb
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Sat Nov-06-04 10:28 PM
Response to Reply #24
29. Pittsburgh Stillers man
Big Ben is gonna lead em to super bowl.
Zuni
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Sat Nov-06-04 10:27 PM
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I didn't have a girlfriend until I was 18. I was a real insecure teenager and I have social anxiety disorder. I have learned to pretend I am confident even when I am not, and act like it. I have gotten laid many times since then and some of the girls were really attractive. There is plenty of hope Kleeb. You are a good guy who should be confident. You have a lot to offer.
JohnKleeb
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Sat Nov-06-04 10:29 PM
Response to Reply #28
but Ive grown better, I am not worried.
FM Arouet666
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Sat Nov-06-04 10:33 PM
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36. That's because your a steeler fan..
;) Sorry, couldn't resist, I just moved from Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh a drinking town with a football problem. ;)
JohnKleeb
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Sat Nov-06-04 10:34 PM
Response to Reply #36
38. but I live in Northern Virginia
My family is from the Pittsburgh area.
Skittles
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Sat Nov-06-04 11:03 PM
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45. LOL...........................................John
you made this tired, angry middle-aged gal laugh out loud and I love you for it. And one day you will not only have a girlfriend but a REALLY GREAT ONE.
JohnKleeb
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Sat Nov-06-04 11:11 PM
Response to Reply #45
47. It really was a copy-cat I am not upset about it at all
Skittles
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Sat Nov-06-04 11:16 PM
Response to Reply #47
I was heavily involved in that original thread. As long as you don't behave like that asshat you'll be fine.
JohnKleeb
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Sat Nov-06-04 11:25 PM
Response to Reply #49
55. how did he behave? I didnt look at it
Skittles
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Sat Nov-06-04 11:35 PM
Response to Reply #55
59. the original post should make any decent person sick
JohnKleeb
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Sat Nov-06-04 11:53 PM
Response to Reply #59
63. ahh ok I'll PM you about it I guess
Senator Lamb
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Sat Nov-06-04 11:12 PM
Response to Reply #45
i realize girl like jerks. smart, shy guys never win
Skittles
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Sat Nov-06-04 11:17 PM
Response to Reply #48
Edited on Sat Nov-06-04 11:17 PM by Skittles
I'm dating a slightly overweight, severely shy smart guy right now.
Senator Lamb
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Sat Nov-06-04 11:24 PM
Response to Reply #50
52. im not even overweight
and i always lose. im sort of like peter parker.
JohnKleeb
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Sat Nov-06-04 11:25 PM
Response to Reply #52
53. I am slightly overweight but no one can tell, its all in my ass!
Senator Lamb
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Sat Nov-06-04 11:32 PM
Response to Reply #53
56. i proclaim this thread
a place where people like johncleeb, ackward teenagers who just cant get a girlfriend, can get advice on how to get girls and get some support.
JohnKleeb
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Sat Nov-06-04 11:33 PM
Response to Reply #56
57. hey I am not ackward just shw
Senator Lamb
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Sat Nov-06-04 11:35 PM
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JohnKleeb
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Sat Nov-06-04 11:52 PM
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Commie Pinko Dirtbag
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Sat Nov-06-04 11:50 PM
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JohnKleeb
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Sat Nov-06-04 11:53 PM
Response to Reply #60
62. ain't I a little young
jukes
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Sun Nov-07-04 12:35 AM
Response to Original message
drunk for dates in speedos, & your mother is driving.
JohnKleeb
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Sun Nov-07-04 12:52 AM
Response to Reply #65
67. now thats just a falsehood
I wear buttoned shirts in jeans and my new balances, and we do walks around town!
jukes
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Sun Nov-07-04 01:02 AM
Response to Reply #67
THAT explains that. my way, though perverse, wd work better. better work on your cunnilingus, boy!
Senator Lamb
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Sun Nov-07-04 01:19 AM
Response to Reply #69
70. anyone want a DU boyfriend?
DU
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