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Terwilliger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-14-03 03:58 PM
Original message
Top 8 Morons of the Year
TOP EIGHT MORONS OF THE YEAR

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?

AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he
lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance
package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

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2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:

Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to
subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home.
After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the
man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please
come out and give yourself up."

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3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???

An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist
and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines,
wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own
bank accounts.

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4. THE GETAWAY!

A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked for
all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too
small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter
himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

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5. DID I SAY THAT???

Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who
just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked
each man in the lineup to repeat the words, "Give me all your money
or I'll shoot, the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"

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6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING???

A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and
her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first
child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"

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7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!

In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for
trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without weapon. King used
a thumb and a finger to simulate gun, but unfortunately, he failed to
keep his hand in his pocket. (hellllllooooooo!)

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8. THE GRAND FINALE:

Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert,
an hour east of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating,
were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they
couldn't get their brand new 22 ft going. It was very sluggish in
almost every maneuver, no matter how much power was applied.

After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted to a
nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong.
A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working
condition. The engine ran fine, the out drive went up and down, and the
prop was the correct size and pitch.

So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath, he
came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.

NOW REMEMBER ...THIS IS TRUE... Under the boat, still strapped
securely in place, was the trailer.

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:D
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wtmusic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-14-03 04:08 PM
Response to Original message
1. Thanks Ter
now I feel smart again!
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arcane1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-14-03 04:26 PM
Response to Original message
2. whew! Another year I didn't make the list!
:hi:
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ThoughtCriminal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-14-03 04:31 PM
Response to Original message
3. Finger guns
"In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for
trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without weapon. King used
a thumb and a finger to simulate gun, but unfortunately, he failed to
keep his hand in his pocket."

Good thing all the tellers had the same weapon.

I can just see the trial, The prosecution asks the witness to point out the suspect. When they do, he ducks.


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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-14-03 04:43 PM
Response to Original message
4. Glad I don't use AT&T for phone service
Any corporation that stupid deserves to go bankrupt, without our pity.

$26 mil. Any of us could retire on that if we were age 10 at the time! :eyes:
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