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What Keeps a Man Interested??

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kathee Donating Member (321 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-11-03 10:30 AM
Original message
What Keeps a Man Interested??
I mean those in a long term relationship. I already know what does it for me. If he comes in and helps with the dishes or laundry, I'm on him in a second. :P But what is it that a woman can do to get a guy interested in a lil fun, especially after the months turn to years with each other.

I swear, it seems that the less interested I act, the more interested he gets...is that because men forever love a chase or a challenge? Just wanting a man's point of view, but all are appreciated.
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BigMcLargehuge Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-11-03 10:32 AM
Response to Original message
1. good question
as a man in a LT relationship. nearly 8 years wedded and two before that dating, my interest in my wife hasn't waned yet. What keeps me interested is her whole being. She the intelligence (and long legs) that I just find irresistable. She also plays hard to get all the time, and I think that encourages my affections.

Any idea what I could do to make her chase me? My legs are getting tired, and the goal keeps getting further and further away.
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radwriter0555 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-11-03 11:14 AM
Response to Reply #1
16. Beer.
what else?
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BigMcLargehuge Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-11-03 11:16 AM
Response to Reply #16
17. what do I do with it?
sprinkle it on myself like perfume, create a scent trail to the bedroom, douse her underthings in a mixture of beer and DMSO????

What the hell kind of answer is beer?!?!?!

These mysteries of the universe the puzzle me so...
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radwriter0555 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-11-03 11:35 AM
Response to Reply #17
19. LOL! it's what they LIKE. So just put it in front of them, they'll drink
it and leave you alone.

I mean really. Do you REALLY want them to pay attention to you? Like a dog gnawing on a bone? Nahhhhh. Distract em, go off on your own, enjoy yourself. FAR more fun, without all the hassle.

Just throw beer at them, park them in front of the teevee and they'll leave you alone, and you can do anything you want! Works every time. I turn on the computer for my honey. He plays online poker and gives me the credit cards. He wins money to pay the credit card bills. Works PERFECT.
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bamademo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-11-03 10:34 AM
Response to Original message
2. Not a man -- but Victoria's Secret and a strip tease helps...
...also full body massages complete with fine red wine, candles and lotion.
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Gman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-11-03 10:34 AM
Response to Original message
3. A lot of men want what they can't have
So never stop flirting with your husband just because you're married to him. Men love a coy flirt.
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Blue_Chill Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-11-03 10:36 AM
Response to Reply #3
5. Very true
The concept of just having sex for sex's sake is annoying to me...well not always. But for the most part making love is best when there is anticipation involved, flirting, the whole 9 yards damn it!

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Blue_Chill Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-11-03 10:34 AM
Response to Original message
4. Interested how?
Do you mean as in sexually? If so you just have to be a little crazy sometimes. Also be patient sometimes you may think you are getting a red light because he isn't interested but it's really because something is bugging him that he hasn't shared with you. Guys typically don't share many of our worries with anyone .

If you mean interested in a long term relationship you hve to challenge his mind. You have to be someone that he can talk to about the subjects he enjoys and have a fun conversation. Too often people get into their own world and by the time they look back they realise they no longer have much in common.

BTW - this goes vice versa for you guys out there, if she bothers to learn about football your ass better do the same for her interests.
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BigMcLargehuge Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-11-03 10:36 AM
Response to Reply #4
6. great last point Blue_Chill
I couldn't have said it better.
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kathee Donating Member (321 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-11-03 10:38 AM
Response to Reply #4
7. Yes sexually
Im thinking overwork and stress arent helping matters much.

Sometimes I wish I were a golf course. Hed be on me constantly, hehe.
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BigMcLargehuge Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-11-03 10:39 AM
Response to Reply #7
8. but his shoes would hurt like hell...
:)
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StaggerLee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-11-03 10:40 AM
Response to Reply #7
9. All these guys are right - flirt! SEDUCE him.
n/t
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SoFlaJets Donating Member (556 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-11-03 10:41 AM
Response to Original message
10. I'm 47 my wife 39
and we've been together for 21 years.It's strange but I'm more in love now and more turned on to her than ever.as for what can you do?Well try things you haven't tried before-do it(or do SOMETHING)in the car,try changing your appearence shave down THERE perhaps?Peek at him/her while they're in the shower-show some interest it works for us...get into a fight?make up the fun way....say I love you a few times a day..
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ForrestGump Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-11-03 10:46 AM
Response to Original message
11. One word: boobies
Or is that two words? :-)

Really, I don't know....but I suspect that there's an awful lot of variation among men in what keeps them 'interested,' just as I'm sure there is among women. I was interested pretty much all the time but, unfortunately, my wife wasn't, and it became apparent that the disinterest was well beyond the point at which any chase or challenge could reasonably be provoked. Some men may give up at the slightest hint of disinterest rather than rising to the challenge - again, it's all very individual-specific.

If you find the secret, I'd love to know what it is, but I suspect that it'll likely have something to do with whatever it is that keeps your love going outside of the bedroom (or kitchen, or bathroom, or.... :-) ).
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ropi Donating Member (948 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-11-03 10:47 AM
Response to Original message
12. hmmm
a six pack and espn..that keeps them interested.
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Palacsinta Donating Member (929 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-11-03 10:50 AM
Response to Original message
13. Be feisty,& flirty & imaginative
I used to hate the World Series.......but then we turned it into "Theme Week". My husband could pick a sexual theme and then I'd use my imagination to fullfill it as long as the series lasted. Like........Water Wonderland.....Tropical Torment.......Under The Big Top........Fur and Leather........and since he was a pilot, Aircraft Carrier. This year.....Pirates of the Caribbean. You get the idea. We've been married 30 years, and while we're not quite as active, the closeness and intimacy are still there.
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BiggJawn Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-11-03 11:02 AM
Response to Original message
14. "Come on" to him...
Edited on Thu Sep-11-03 11:03 AM by BiggJawn
Let him know you want a little "action".
Geez, you'd think after we've forgotten a few birthdays and bought one toaster too many for an anniversary gift, you'd get the message that men are not mind readers.... :7

Serious, make a pass at him. I know if my GF did that to me....Well, there wouldn't be a whole lot of "other things" done that day.... :evilgrin:
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tsakshaug Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-11-03 11:13 AM
Response to Original message
15. Show an interest
Talk, listen, touch.
Heck I do the dishes, laundry, clean up, work at a good job and my first wife (we won't get into her mental problems) tossed me out. My second wife talks to me, and shows an interest in what is going on in my world. That is good. The other one never showed an interest in my work or world, everytime I tried to tell her about something that happened during the day, I had to explain who was who, even though I talked about a small number of people. With my new wife, she knows who I am talking about and even is willing to socialze with them.
enough rambling
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kathee Donating Member (321 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-11-03 11:25 AM
Response to Reply #15
18. I needed to hear that
I tend to get into my own world, and forget his is important too. Good advice!
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zbdent Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-11-03 11:59 AM
Response to Original message
20. Classic Answer: Show up naked
and bring a pizza.

Seriously, give him a "halftime show" Sunday that will blow his mind (well, maybe a bit lower).
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Xithras Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-11-03 12:03 PM
Response to Original message
21. Physical contact...NOT SEX
First: I've been with my wife for 10 years, and we've had both our periods where we couldn't get enough of each other, and our dry spells where we just weren't interested. It's pretty normal to oscillate between those, so long as you don't get stuck at one extreme or another.

But here is the most important thing I have learned over the years: Touch is the most important sense humans have, and it is important for reinforcing social bonds and familiarity. Even if you can't or aren't interested in being physical or sexual with your partner on a given day, take the time to wrap your arms around him/her, give them a kiss, give them a backrub, or even just hold hands while watching TV.

I also make a point to tell my wife that I love her at LEAST once a day...and not just in passing or as I walk out the door (or after sex). I make a point to stop whatever I'm doing, walk over to my wife, and let her know how much she means to me. Whether we're arguing, passionate, or distant, I always want her to know that I love her. I have had several conversations with people experiencing marital problems (friends & family) and almost without variation, most can't even remember the last time they told their signifigant other that they loved them.

Physical contact and this kind of verbal reinforcement breed genuine AFFECTION. And if a couple is affectionate with each other, everything else will come naturally.
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