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Murphy's Rules of Combat
1. All five second grenade fuses go off after three seconds.
2. Anything you do can get you shot. Including doing nothing.
3. Beer math means the 2 beers times 37 soldiers equals 49 cases.
4. Don't look Conspicuous, in a combat zone it draws fire. Out of the combat zone, it draws sargeants. HEHEHE!
5. Friendly fire isn't friendly.
6. Guided missles aren't.
6. If it's stupid but it works, it's not stupid.
7. If the enemy is within range, so are you.
8. If you are forward of your position, your artillery will be short.
9. If you are short of everything except the enemy, you are in combat.
10. If you can't remember, the claymore mine is pointed towards you.
11. If you have a secured area, don't forget to tell the enemy.
12. If you make it too tough for the enemy to get in, you can't get out.
13. If you take more than your share of objectives you will be assigned more objectives to take.
14. If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush.
15. Incoming fire has the right of way.
16. Murphy was a grunt.
17. Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you.
18. Never forget your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
19. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you.
20. No combat unit ever passed inspection.
21. No inspection ready unit has survived combat.
22. No operation plan survives the first contact intact.
23. Professionals are predictable; to bad the world is full of amateurs.
24. Radios fail in direct proportion to your need for help.
25. Suppressive fire won't.
26. The easiest route is always mined.
27. The enemy diversion you are ignoring is the main attack.
28. The important things are always simple.
29. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
30. The side with the simplest uniforms win.
31. The simple things are always hard.
32. Things that must be together to work usually can't be shipped together.
33. Tracers work both ways.
34. Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammunition.
35. When both sides are convinced they are about to lost, they are both right.
36. When in doubt empty the magazine.
37. Working as part of a team is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.
38. You are not Superman or Superwoman (fighter pilots, especially, take note.)
39. A "sucking chest wound" is nature's little way of telling you to slow down.
40. If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.
41. If your sargeant can see you, so can the enemy.
42. Radar tends to fail at night and in bad weather, and especially during both.
43. Teamwork is essential. It gives them someone else to shoot at.
44. The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.
45. The quarrtermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.
46. There is nothing more satisfying than having someone take a shot at you and miss.
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