Have we had a post about it being Leonard Cohen's birthday today?

[Screaming Lord Byron]

70 today.

[Fenris]

1. I think someone did earlier.

Not that it matters. 70 years is something to dupe about.

[Fenris]

2. I shall now post the lyrics to the worst L. Cohen song ever.

Can you tell me why the bells are ringing?
Nothing's happened in a million years
I've been sitting here since Wednesday morning
Wednesday morning can't believe my ears

Jazz police are looking through my folders
Jazz police are talking to my niece
Jazz police have got their final orders
Jazzer, drop your axe, it's Jazz police!

Jesus taken serious by the many
Jesus taken joyous by a few
Jazz police are paid by J.Paul Getty
Jazzers paid by J.Paul Getty II

Jazz police I hear you calling
Jazz police I feel so blue
Jazz police I think I'm falling,
I'm falling for you

Wild as any freedom loving racist
I applaud the actions of the chief
Tell me now oh beautiful and spacious
Am I in trouble with the Jazz police?

Jazz police are looking through my folders ...

They will never understand our culture
They'll never understand the Jazz police
Jazz police are working for my mother
Blood is thicker margarine than grease

Let me be somebody I admire
Let me be that muscle down the street
Stick another turtle on the fire
Guys like me are mad for turtle meat

Jazz police I hear you calling
Jazz police I feel so blue
Jazz police I think I'm falling,
I'm falling for you

[redqueen]

3. If so I missed it

Happy Birthday L. Cohen!

One of my favorite Cohen songs:

It's four in the morning, the end of December
I'm writing you now just to see if you're better
New York is cold, but I like where I'm living
There's music on Clinton Street all through the evening.

I hear that you're building your little house deep in the desert
You're living for nothing now, I hope you're keeping some kind of record.

Yes, and Jane came by with a lock of your hair
She said that you gave it to her
That night that you planned to go clear
Did you ever go clear?

Ah, the last time we saw you you looked so much older
Your famous blue raincoat was torn at the shoulder
You'd been to the station to meet every train
And you came home without Lili Marlene

And you treated my woman to a flake of your life
And when she came back she was nobody's wife.

Well I see you there with the rose in your teeth
One more thin gypsy thief
Well I see Jane's awake --

She sends her regards.
And what can I tell you my brother, my killer
What can I possibly say?
I guess that I miss you, I guess I forgive you
I'm glad you stood in my way.

If you ever come by here, for Jane or for me
Your enemy is sleeping, and his woman is free.

Yes, and thanks, for the trouble you took from her eyes
I thought it was there for good so I never tried.

And Jane came by with a lock of your hair
She said that you gave it to her
That night that you planned to go clear

-- Sincerely, L. Cohen

[flamingyouth]

4. Yes, he's 70, twice my age

And I feel vaguely old.

No, wait, I don't. ;)

[ze_dscherman]

5. The Future

Give me back my broken night
my mirrored room, my secret life
it's lonely here,
there's no one left to torture
Give me absolute control
over every living soul
And lie beside me, baby,
that's an order!

Give me crack and anal sex
Take the only tree that's left
and stuff it up the hole
in your culture
Give me back the Berlin wall
give me Stalin and St Paul
I've seen the future, brother:
it is murder.

Things are going to slide, slide in all directions
Won't be nothing
Nothing you can measure anymore
The blizzard, the blizzard of the world
has crossed the threshold
and it has overturned
the order of the soul
When they said REPENT REPENT
I wonder what they meant
When they said REPENT REPENT
I wonder what they meant
When they said REPENT REPENT
I wonder what they meant

You don't know me from the wind
you never will, you never did
I'm the little jew
who wrote the Bible
I've seen the nations rise and fall
I've heard their stories, heard them all
but love's the only engine of survival
Your servant here, he has been told
to say it clear, to say it cold:
It's over, it ain't going
any further
And now the wheels of heaven stop
you feel the devil's riding crop
Get ready for the future:
it is murder

Things are going to slide ...

There'll be the breaking of the ancient
western code
Your private life will suddenly explode
There'll be phantoms
There'll be fires on the road
and the white man dancing
You'll see a woman
hanging upside down
her features covered by her fallen gown
and all the lousy little poets
coming round
tryin' to sound like Charlie Manson
and the white man dancin'

Give me back the Berlin wall
Give me Stalin and St Paul
Give me Christ
or give me Hiroshima
Destroy another fetus now
We don't like children anyhow
I've seen the future, baby:
it is murder

[redqueen]

6. Which reminds me of another of my favorites...

She stands before you naked
you can see it, you can taste it,
and she comes to you light as the breeze.
Now you can drink it or you can nurse it,
it don't matter how you worship
as long as you're
down on your knees.

So I knelt there at the delta,
at the alpha and the omega,
at the cradle of the river and the seas.
And like a blessing come from heaven
for something like a second
I was healed and my heart
was at ease.

O baby I waited
so long for your kiss
for something to happen,
oh something like this.

And you're weak and you're harmless
and you're sleeping in your harness
and the wind going wild
in the trees,
and it ain't exactly prison
but you'll never be forgiven
for whatever you've done
with the keys.

O baby I waited ...

It's dark now and it's snowing
O my love I must be going,
The river has started to freeze.
And I'm sick of pretending
I'm broken from bending
I've lived too long on my knees.

Then she dances so graceful
and your heart's hard and hateful
and she's naked
but that's just a tease.
And you turn in disgust
from your hatred and from your love
and comes to you
light as the breeze.

O baby I waited ...

There's blood on every bracelet
you can see it, you can taste it,
and it's Please baby
please baby please.
And she says, Drink deeply, pilgrim
but don't forget there's still a woman
beneath this
resplendent chemise.

So I knelt there at the delta,
at the alpha and the omega,
I knelt there like one who believes.
And the blessings come from heaven
and for something like a second
I'm cured and my heart
is at ease.

[ze_dscherman]

7. Yep, I love that album!

Or should I say CD? Anthem is great as well - there's a crack, a crack, in everything, that's how the light gets in ...

[Screaming Lord Byron]

8. That is one of the greatest poetic lines ever.

[eyesroll]

9. OK, even though it's a day late, I will post a song for all of my Jewish

friends who are no doubt atoning for their sins and praying for their inclusion in the Book of Life during these 10 holy days (I myself ate a club sandwich with ham on Rosh Hashanah because I am a crappy Jew):

And who by fire, who by water,
Who in the sunshine, who in the night time,
Who by high ordeal, who by common trial,
Who in your merry merry month of may,
Who by very slow decay,
And who..., who shall I say is calling?

And who in her lonely slip, who by barbiturate,
Who in these realms of love, who by something blunt,
And who by avalanche, who by powder,
Who for his greed, who for his hunger,
And who..., who shall I say is calling?

And who by brave assent, who by accident,
Who in solitude, who in this mirror,
Who by his lady's command, who by his own hand,
Who in mortal chains, who in power,
And who..., who shall I say is calling?

And who..., who shall I say is calling?

And who by fire, who by water,
Who in the sunshine, who in the night time,
Who by high ordeal, who by common trial,
Who in your merry merry month of may,
Who by very slow decay,
And who..., who shall I say is calling?

And who..., who shall I say is calling?

[Donkeyboy75]

13. That's it! Nothing but a week full of gefilte fish for you!

:puke:

[eyesroll]

16. I like gefilte fish!

I am a very good food Jew (OK, so not so much with the kosher thing). But I like all the foods I'm supposed to like!

[Donkeyboy75]

18. I'd give a testicle for some good challah.

But I haaaate gefilte fish. Guess I'll have to find a suitable alternative punishment.

[eyesroll]

20. My grandfather owned a bakery for many years. His challah ruled.

(Well, still technically rules -- he's retired, on the other side of the country and still bakes.) I can do an OK version.
I do make a mean chicken noodle soup, though.

[Donkeyboy75]

22. With matzoh??

:bounce: :bounce:

[eyesroll]

24. Sometimes!

:bounce: :bounce:
Noodles sometimes, too.

[Donkeyboy75]

25. Mmmmmm.

I would invite myself for dinner, but your husband's flatulence would most assuredly ruin the dining experience. x(

[bif]

10. That is so yesterday, Dude!

[Screaming Lord Byron]

14. That's when I posted this. Len has longevity!

[livinginphotographs]

11. Probably a dupe, but good article at the Guardian.

Happy birthday, Mr. Cohen.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/arts/fridayreview/story/0,12102,1305765,00.html

[Screaming Lord Byron]

23. my favourite

48 In 1986, he made a guest appearance in Miami Vice as a character named François Zolan, head of Interpol.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

12. Cohen is a great example of an artist who can be spiritual but not an arse

Unike some we could mention....

[Donkeyboy75]

15. That's a thinly veiled reference to Morrissey, innit?

[Screaming Lord Byron]

17. Yes. Morrissey was thrown off a plane at Newark for suspicious moping.

[Donkeyboy75]

21. Oh. I thought he was accosted by the fashion police

[redqueen]

19. Arse is far too kind

I'd say that one's an outright loony.

[livinginphotographs]

26. I think Morrissey just needs a good shag.

Maybe he'd lighten up a bit.

[Ellen Forradalom]

27. Democracy Is Coming To The U.S.A.

I wish.