You're head delegate for your state: Give your state introduction/

[LynneSin]

Kerry Nomination speech.

Many I remember watching the conventions ages ago when they actually had a real nominating process and there were actual candidates they were deciding between.

But my favorite was when each state had to announce who their delegates were voting for and they would give these longass winded speeches like this:

Greetings Fellow Democrats, I'm honored to be representing the great state of Delaware. We maybe be small in size but we large in the excitement our state felt some 228 years ago when we sent Rodney Casear, a man riddled with syphillis, back to Philadelphia so Delaware could be the first state in this great Union to sign the Declaration of Independence. Delaware is your favorite destination for tax free shopping, family fun beaches and the cheapest booze & cigerettes in a five-state radius. Our state, a state that has always voted in November for the President including in 2000 when we voted for Gore nominates the next President of the United States: John F. Kerry


So it's your turn: Give your state's nominating speech for Kerry: Points awarded for longwinded, obscure references!!

[terrya]

1. Illinois:

Greetings Fellow Democrats, I'm honored to be representing the great state of Illinois. A state that has it all...the great city of Chicago, rich in culture, a powerful fiancial and media center, and rich in architectual history. Illinois is an agricultural state as well, a breadbasket to the world. And Illinois has given this nation some great people in government...Abraham Lincoln, Paul Douglas, Paul Simon...and the NEXT Senator, Barack Obama (hold for big applause)

Mr Chairman, Illinois, a bellweather state in past elections, votes ALL of its votes for the next President of the United States, the HONORABLE John F. Kerry!

[put out]

2. Greetings, Fellow Democrats, and also Ladies, from the great state of

Kansas. We have about the chance of a fart in a whirlwind of taking this state's electoral votes, but we're trying. After all, we stood against slavery in the Missouri Compromise, I think. Also, we offered legal watered-down beer to 18 year old citizens when Missouri wouldn't sell them anything but hard liquor if they had a good fake I.D. We won't sell alcohol to 18 year old citizens anymore. We promised when our Great State of Kansas began selling alcohol to adults who don't even belong to a private club.

Some sorts of sexual activity between, or among, consenting adults in the Great State of Kansas remain illegal! Now, that is family values for you! Whether you want them or not.

And, we have lakes! or ponds! And even some rivers! No mountains, but there are lots and lots of steep hills, if you know where to look.

And the food, Wow. There are fields full of corn, corn everywhere you look! And many cows can name the Great State of Kansas as their state. This place is lousy with cows. You can find that some have wandered into your garage if you forget to put down the door.

And I therefore proudly offer the support of the entire body of Kansas Democrats. There are 12 of us, up from only 8 last year.

[Bhaisahab]

3. Do country introductions count?

never mind, here's mine:

Greetings American Democrats. I think I speak for most of the 600 million literate people of India when I urge you to do everything in your power to elevate John Kerry to the august office of the President of the USA. About 60 years ago, a great political philosopher from my country- Mahatma Gandhi (spelt Ghandi by most Americans)- was asked what he thought of western civilization. The Mahatma (which means Great Soul) replied- "I think that would be a good idea." The last four years of mis-rule in your great nation makes his words very relevant today, and if John Kerry does not have your support to overwhelm the forces that have unleashed a savage attack on international and environmental laws, and gagged freedom loving American citizens with duct tapes of fear, I am afraid you will be held responsible for the end of the world as we know it (as REM- fine cultural exports from your land- put it once).
My fellow liberals, I know India has been responsible for much woe these last 5 years due to what you call "outsourcing" and we call "prosperity", but surely, once John Kerry is in the White House, can't we just get along? (as another icon from your land, I forget who, said it)
So please stand up and be counted as Americans, do the world a favor, help elect John Kerry and send the boy emperor back to his ranch.
Namaste!

(phew)

[Bhaisahab]

4. what the hell? that's it? only 2 states and 1 country???? n/t

[DemWitch]

5. Good evening my fellow Democrats from the great state of

New York. The Empire State. The State where towers may fall, but our spirits soar. The State where tragedy is overcome by triumph. The State where concrete forests lead to the most beautiful, protected pristine wilderness in the Adirondacks. A State where diversity is not only accepted, but celebrated. New York, the original melting pot of our great land, opening her arms to those in search of a better life and freedom, greeting those souls with the light of freedom held high by our own Lady Liberty (screw that she in Jersey) beckoning them to our shores. The Great Empire State of New York, in it's proud Democratic heritage proudly award all of our delegates votes to our next President, President John F. Kerry and our next Vice President, Vice President John Edwards!

[SemiCharmedQuark]

6. Indiana

Greetings fellow Americans. I am sorry to have to introduce one of the sorriest excuses for a state this side of the mason-dixon line. Indiana is a shitty state, but what else do you expect from a state that was the hub of KKK activity earlier this century. But hey, the taxes are low and we sell illegal firewords, so come on down. I pledge the votes of Gary and a few stragglers along the Illinois border for the great man, John Kerry. As for the rest, sorry, but there can't be much to persuade people who proudly have confederate flags with the word "redneck" stamped on them.

[Beware the Beast Man]

7. Greetings fellow delegates from the land of no gravity,

The great state of Ohio...with the highest amount of ex-presidents per capita than any other state in the union. A land of rolling fields, burning rivers, and grown men who dress up in dog costumes. Don't let those bastards in North Carolina tell you otherwise, we're the Birthplace of Aviation, dammit! With that said, we nominate the next President of the United States: John Kerry!