Redneck lawncare

[DS1]

Your dog shits in your flower bed, you take your shotgun and blast the poo into the ground.

I don't know why I thought about this. I was just lying on my back in my backyard looking up at the stars, and it popped into my head.

Zero responses to this thread would not offend me.

[alphafemale]

1. Lawn care? Oximoron.

You let the grass grow up to the fender of the truck then you douse it with used motor oil and scorch it black.

[DS1]

2. That's like paying it forward, for Republicans, pouring that

precious liquid gold back into the ground

[Wwagsthedog]

3. Goats. nt

[DS1]

4. Good point. There I am being all complicated again

I guess I'd be a lousy redneck. Although feeding the free-yard chickens to eventually feed said goats in winter would be a chore..

[alphafemale]

5. White-Painted Tires in Landscaping 101. Learn it.

[DS1]

6. okay, but I need a fast-track here, how should I mask the grass?

or should I just clip the white grass and smoke it ?

[alphafemale]

8. Ceramic squirrels and plastic deer. nt

[jpgray]

7. I'll assume you were engaged in activist multitasking when you wrote this

So long as you assume the same for my sophomoric and navel-gazing equitable societies thread.

[DS1]

10. In all honesty, I have no idea what you mean by navel-gazing

I was just flat on my back in the grass looking up at the stars peeking through the clouds, and it hit me. I live with a roommate that has two labradors, and he picks up their shit, I was thankful that after laying down I wasn't covered in said shit, and realized that in order to truly fertilize, shit should be pushed into the ground. Shotgun was my first idea. Maybe it's me that's the redneck

[chaska]

9. redneck? Growing a green lawn in a desert climate that's redneck.

Lawns are so stupid. Kill your's today, then please, by all means, kill mine.

[DS1]

12. No deserts around here, yet...

Global warming doesn't exist, Rush said so, it has to be true.

[VoteDemocratic2004]

11. Before you remove the wheels off of a car

Drive back and forth over the poop and it will drive it down into the soil which will make for better planting.