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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-24-04 11:20 PM
Original message
Redneck lawncare
Your dog shits in your flower bed, you take your shotgun and blast the poo into the ground.

I don't know why I thought about this. I was just lying on my back in my backyard looking up at the stars, and it popped into my head.

Zero responses to this thread would not offend me.
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alphafemale Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-24-04 11:24 PM
Response to Original message
1. Lawn care? Oximoron.
You let the grass grow up to the fender of the truck then you douse it with used motor oil and scorch it black.
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-24-04 11:27 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. That's like paying it forward, for Republicans, pouring that
precious liquid gold back into the ground :7
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Wwagsthedog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-24-04 11:35 PM
Response to Original message
3. Goats. nt
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-24-04 11:47 PM
Response to Reply #3
4. Good point. There I am being all complicated again
I guess I'd be a lousy redneck. Although feeding the free-yard chickens to eventually feed said goats in winter would be a chore..
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alphafemale Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-24-04 11:59 PM
Response to Reply #4
5. White-Painted Tires in Landscaping 101. Learn it.
:D
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-25-04 12:19 AM
Response to Reply #5
6. okay, but I need a fast-track here, how should I mask the grass?
or should I just clip the white grass and smoke it ?
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alphafemale Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-25-04 12:35 AM
Response to Reply #6
8. Ceramic squirrels and plastic deer. nt
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jpgray Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-25-04 12:31 AM
Response to Original message
7. I'll assume you were engaged in activist multitasking when you wrote this
Edited on Sun Jul-25-04 12:31 AM by jpgray
So long as you assume the same for my sophomoric and navel-gazing equitable societies thread.

:silly:
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-25-04 12:40 AM
Response to Reply #7
10. In all honesty, I have no idea what you mean by navel-gazing
:shrug:

I was just flat on my back in the grass looking up at the stars peeking through the clouds, and it hit me. I live with a roommate that has two labradors, and he picks up their shit, I was thankful that after laying down I wasn't covered in said shit, and realized that in order to truly fertilize, shit should be pushed into the ground. Shotgun was my first idea. Maybe it's me that's the redneck :scared:
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chaska Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-25-04 12:36 AM
Response to Original message
9. redneck? Growing a green lawn in a desert climate that's redneck.
Lawns are so stupid. Kill your's today, then please, by all means, kill mine.
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-25-04 12:40 AM
Response to Reply #9
12. No deserts around here, yet...
Global warming doesn't exist, Rush said so, it has to be true.
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VoteDemocratic2004 Donating Member (691 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-25-04 12:40 AM
Response to Original message
11. Before you remove the wheels off of a car
Drive back and forth over the poop and it will drive it down into the soil which will make for better planting.

:evilgrin:
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