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I could kick Stephen Hawking's ASS!

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sus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 01:37 PM
Original message
I could kick Stephen Hawking's ASS!

post your unimpressive boasts here
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Magrittes Pipe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 01:37 PM
Response to Original message
1. I could best sus in a contest of wits!
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sus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 01:40 PM
Response to Reply #1
6. i know who al hedges is!
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WI_DEM Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 01:37 PM
Response to Original message
2. you mean in a contest of intellect?
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Cannikin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 01:38 PM
Response to Original message
3. I could beat G. W. Bush in a geography bee
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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 01:38 PM
Response to Original message
4. I can take candy from babies.
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Guy Fawkes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 01:38 PM
Response to Original message
5. I could fdisk your Hdd faster then you can hack an old CCBill script!
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tigereye Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 01:43 PM
Response to Reply #5
7.  I can think and drive at the same time
while telling my kid for the 1000th time why he doesn't need an X-box!
ah parenthood.
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johnnie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 01:43 PM
Response to Original message
8. I can beat Christopher Reeves...
....in the 200 yard dash.
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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 01:43 PM
Response to Original message
9. I can walk and chew gum simultaneously.
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regularguy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 01:44 PM
Response to Original message
10. I can lay still for a really long time!
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commander bunnypants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 01:45 PM
Response to Original message
11. I like to kick the cruchtches out from people with broken legs
DDQM
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Reverend_Smitty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 01:47 PM
Response to Original message
12. I could beat a one legged man...
in an ass kicking contest!!!
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sus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 01:51 PM
Response to Original message
13. i can sit at my desk when i really have to pee and
hold it for hours because if i get up, i might miss something!
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Q3JR4 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 01:52 PM
Response to Original message
14. I could be a better
president than the current one.
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CO Liberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 01:53 PM
Response to Original message
15. I Can Go Longer Without a Drink...
...than both Bush Twins put together!!!
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Worst Username Ever Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 01:53 PM
Response to Original message
16. George Bush is a liar!
n/t
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sus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 01:54 PM
Response to Original message
17. i could tap dance for you,
but I'm not wearing the right bra.
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jukes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 03:52 PM
Response to Reply #17
38. that is
a pretty mental image. TX!
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Beware the Beast Man Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 01:57 PM
Response to Original message
18. I am the Ed Asner of fat, hairy guys!
No disrespect to Mr. Asner...
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jus_the_facts Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 01:57 PM
Response to Original message
19. I can scream like a long tailed cat...in a room full 'o' rockin' chairs!
:o
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sus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 01:57 PM
Response to Original message
20. i could handpick a Wanker Olympic team just from my family alone!
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jukes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 04:03 PM
Response to Reply #20
42. sus
Edited on Mon Jul-19-04 04:05 PM by jukes
i'm willing to bet i can out wank your entire family, & i'm in my declining years!
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mrboba1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 01:58 PM
Response to Original message
21. I can invade a country better than my dad!
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ProfessorGAC Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 02:02 PM
Response to Original message
22. I'm WAY Smarter Than My Dog!
Well, at least i think i am.
The Professor
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LynneSin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 02:03 PM
Response to Original message
23. I could kick George W. Bush's ass in a geography bee
:bounce:
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terrya Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 02:04 PM
Response to Original message
24. I bet I could kick Tucker Carlson's ass.
He's SUCH a weenie. :-)
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LynneSin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 02:07 PM
Response to Original message
25. My box turtle is hotter than your box turtle
:P
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Ganja Ninja Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 02:13 PM
Response to Original message
26. I could beat Dick Cheney in a food fight.
so long as I have plenty of apples.
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jdonaldball Donating Member (684 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 02:26 PM
Response to Original message
27. I can do a really good American accent
and a good male impersonation.
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Bridget Burke Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 02:35 PM
Response to Original message
28. I'm stunningly beautiful compared to:


(Although she's stunning in her own way.)



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LynneSin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 02:35 PM
Response to Original message
29. I could my cats could kick sus's cat's asses
:bounce:
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sus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 03:03 PM
Response to Reply #29
32. i can ignore that bait in TWO notes!
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regularguy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 02:36 PM
Response to Original message
30. I could intimidate George Will.
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KamaAina Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 03:02 PM
Response to Original message
31. I can eat a pretzel without choking
and stay upright on a Segway (this has been empirically demonstrated!)

Watch for my upcoming autobiography, "Too Smart to be President"!
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MikeG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 04:37 PM
Response to Reply #31
51. Too smart to be a Republican President.
Dem presidents actually have to be smart.
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Fenris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 03:04 PM
Response to Original message
33. I had sex with Joan Collins!
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Beetwasher Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 03:13 PM
Response to Original message
34. I Can Wear Shirts!
n/t
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Jeff in Cincinnati Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 03:17 PM
Response to Original message
35. I'm funnier than Dick Cheney
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jukes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 03:41 PM
Response to Original message
36. i can make
little children cry w/ my "drill sergeant" voice!


& i *REALLY* like it!
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m-jean03 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 03:50 PM
Response to Reply #36
37. No, no, tell me it's not so, jukes....

That's too mean! :cry:


:D

Me, I can (and have) held lit birthday candles between my toes. :P
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jukes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 03:55 PM
Response to Reply #37
39. now THAT'S
a talent! polish color, pls?


(& no, i rarely do it, unless their folks ignore them while they misbehave in public. scares pee out of the neglectful 'rents, too!)
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m-jean03 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 04:14 PM
Response to Reply #39
43. I think it's pretty funny, actually!

That would be a great talent. I can actually be a pretty mean babysitter if the kids are really out of control... but maybe you could help me refine my skills. :D

Nope, no nail polish on my toes, just first degree burns...... :P


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jukes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 04:24 PM
Response to Reply #43
45. got booted out of DI school
1 week before graduation. 1st marriage that w'kend, was 30 sec's late for rollcall. head instructor didn't care for me much, so i got the boot, but i never lost the diaphragm control.


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jukes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 04:30 PM
Response to Reply #43
48. i thought
you said you're a lipstick dyke?

no toepaint, que cauchemar!
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m-jean03 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 04:33 PM
Response to Reply #48
49. What? Like hell I did.

...Maybe it was in your dreams, buddy. :)
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jukes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 04:38 PM
Response to Reply #49
52. i *WILL*
locate that post. prepare for a crow-feast!
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jukes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 04:47 PM
Response to Reply #49
53. mjean-03
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.ph...

post #53!

my memory is longer than my, uh...


lifespan, yeah that's the ticket!
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m-jean03 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 06:32 PM
Response to Reply #53
54. Oh, THAT...

You should really read anything I write to whoisalhedges as sarcasm....

I don't know if we've ever spoken a serious word to each other! :D
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BlueJazz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 03:57 PM
Response to Original message
40. Right Now...I can sing Much, Much better than Elvis. n/t
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jukes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 04:01 PM
Response to Reply #40
41. *but*
does he smell better?
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jukes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 04:21 PM
Response to Original message
44. i make better coffee
than Zombywoof.

had a turkish national as a partner for a while in DC. had to start bringing in 2 thermoses, because he'd finish mine before i got a 2nd cup.
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Endangered Specie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 04:26 PM
Response to Original message
46. I can eat pretzels without choking to death!
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jukes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 04:29 PM
Response to Original message
47. OK, last boast...
Edited on Mon Jul-19-04 04:31 PM by jukes
i had sex under the Enterprise space shuttle 1 night in '86; parked in the woods behind Dulles Int Airport. still got a splintered ablation tile as a souvenir!
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m-jean03 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 04:34 PM
Response to Original message
50. I'm a frugal shopper

I buy all the cheap brands and in bulk whenever possible. :D
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Anarcho-Socialist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 06:40 PM
Response to Original message
55. I can flame bait on the Free Repuglic n/t
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TroubleMan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 06:42 PM
Response to Original message
56. I can sing nearly every Al Green song by heart

I don't sing that good though, so you wouldn't want me to prove it. :)
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