I could kick Stephen Hawking's ASS!

[sus]

post your unimpressive boasts here

[Magrittes Pipe]

1. I could best sus in a contest of wits!

[sus]

6. i know who al hedges is!

[WI_DEM]

2. you mean in a contest of intellect?

[Cannikin]

3. I could beat G. W. Bush in a geography bee

[GOPisEvil]

4. I can take candy from babies.

[Guy Fawkes]

5. I could fdisk your Hdd faster then you can hack an old CCBill script!

[tigereye]

7. I can think and drive at the same time

while telling my kid for the 1000th time why he doesn't need an X-box!
ah parenthood.

[johnnie]

8. I can beat Christopher Reeves...

....in the 200 yard dash.

[GOPisEvil]

9. I can walk and chew gum simultaneously.

[regularguy]

10. I can lay still for a really long time!

[commander bunnypants]

11. I like to kick the cruchtches out from people with broken legs

DDQM

[Reverend_Smitty]

12. I could beat a one legged man...

in an ass kicking contest!!!

[sus]

13. i can sit at my desk when i really have to pee and

hold it for hours because if i get up, i might miss something!

[Q3JR4]

14. I could be a better

president than the current one.

[CO Liberal]

15. I Can Go Longer Without a Drink...

...than both Bush Twins put together!!!

[Worst Username Ever]

16. George Bush is a liar!

n/t

[sus]

17. i could tap dance for you,

but I'm not wearing the right bra.

[jukes]

38. that is

a pretty mental image. TX!

[Beware the Beast Man]

18. I am the Ed Asner of fat, hairy guys!

No disrespect to Mr. Asner...

[jus_the_facts]

19. I can scream like a long tailed cat...in a room full 'o' rockin' chairs!

[sus]

20. i could handpick a Wanker Olympic team just from my family alone!

[jukes]

42. sus

i'm willing to bet i can out wank your entire family, & i'm in my declining years!

[mrboba1]

21. I can invade a country better than my dad!

[ProfessorGAC]

22. I'm WAY Smarter Than My Dog!

Well, at least i think i am.
The Professor

[LynneSin]

23. I could kick George W. Bush's ass in a geography bee

[terrya]

24. I bet I could kick Tucker Carlson's ass.

He's SUCH a weenie.

[LynneSin]

25. My box turtle is hotter than your box turtle

[Ganja Ninja]

26. I could beat Dick Cheney in a food fight.

so long as I have plenty of apples.

[jdonaldball]

27. I can do a really good American accent

and a good male impersonation.

[Bridget Burke]

28. I'm stunningly beautiful compared to:

(Although she's stunning in her own way.)

[LynneSin]

29. I could my cats could kick sus's cat's asses

[sus]

32. i can ignore that bait in TWO notes!

[regularguy]

30. I could intimidate George Will.

[KamaAina]

31. I can eat a pretzel without choking

and stay upright on a Segway (this has been empirically demonstrated!)

Watch for my upcoming autobiography, "Too Smart to be President"!

[MikeG]

51. Too smart to be a Republican President.

Dem presidents actually have to be smart.

[Fenris]

33. I had sex with Joan Collins!

[Beetwasher]

34. I Can Wear Shirts!

n/t

[Jeff in Cincinnati]

35. I'm funnier than Dick Cheney

[jukes]

36. i can make

little children cry w/ my "drill sergeant" voice!


& i *REALLY* like it!

[m-jean03]

37. No, no, tell me it's not so, jukes....

That's too mean!




Me, I can (and have) held lit birthday candles between my toes.

[jukes]

39. now THAT'S

a talent! polish color, pls?


(& no, i rarely do it, unless their folks ignore them while they misbehave in public. scares pee out of the neglectful 'rents, too!)

[m-jean03]

43. I think it's pretty funny, actually!

That would be a great talent. I can actually be a pretty mean babysitter if the kids are really out of control... but maybe you could help me refine my skills.

Nope, no nail polish on my toes, just first degree burns......

[jukes]

45. got booted out of DI school

1 week before graduation. 1st marriage that w'kend, was 30 sec's late for rollcall. head instructor didn't care for me much, so i got the boot, but i never lost the diaphragm control.

[jukes]

48. i thought

you said you're a lipstick dyke?

no toepaint, que cauchemar!

[m-jean03]

49. What? Like hell I did.

...Maybe it was in your dreams, buddy.

[jukes]

52. i *WILL*

locate that post. prepare for a crow-feast!

[jukes]

53. mjean-03

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.ph...

post #53!

my memory is longer than my, uh...


lifespan, yeah that's the ticket!

[m-jean03]

54. Oh, THAT...

You should really read anything I write to whoisalhedges as sarcasm....

I don't know if we've ever spoken a serious word to each other!

[BlueJazz]

40. Right Now...I can sing Much, Much better than Elvis. n/t

[jukes]

41. *but*

does he smell better?

[jukes]

44. i make better coffee

than Zombywoof.

had a turkish national as a partner for a while in DC. had to start bringing in 2 thermoses, because he'd finish mine before i got a 2nd cup.

[Endangered Specie]

46. I can eat pretzels without choking to death!

[jukes]

47. OK, last boast...

i had sex under the Enterprise space shuttle 1 night in '86; parked in the woods behind Dulles Int Airport. still got a splintered ablation tile as a souvenir!

[m-jean03]

50. I'm a frugal shopper

I buy all the cheap brands and in bulk whenever possible.

[Anarcho-Socialist]

55. I can flame bait on the Free Repuglic n/t

[TroubleMan]

56. I can sing nearly every Al Green song by heart

I don't sing that good though, so you wouldn't want me to prove it.