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sniffa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 01:28 PM
Original message
i'm going home to an empty apartment
no, no i'm not singLe. my mother in Law is sick, so ms. sniffa is gonna be spending some time with her at her pLace.

so in her absence, i gotta come up with a bunch of guy stuff to do whiLe i have the pLace to myseLf. i'm thinking video games, and going to bed without cuddLing. any other suggestions? :P
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sus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 01:29 PM
Response to Original message
1. clearly you need a puppy.
any pet stores on the way home?
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sniffa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 01:33 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. can't do it
she's aLLergic to em (cats are worse). besides, if the puppy dies on my watch i cLearLy shouLdn't be having kids.
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sus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 01:35 PM
Response to Reply #2
3. okay then the next best thing is
go rent the entire first season of "sex and the city" and invite all your buddies over for some five card stud.
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pagerbear Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 01:39 PM
Response to Reply #1
6. NO PET STORES!!!!
Unless you know for sure the pet store only gets animals from ethical breeders. Buying animals from pet stores encourages "puppy mills" and other unethical breeding practices.

Anyone who wants a puppy should check out the animal shelters or breed rescue societies. Or go directly to a responsible breeder, if you must have a certain breed.
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sus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 01:41 PM
Response to Reply #6
9. you're right.
i meant the SPCA or some other shelter.

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Guy Fawkes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 01:36 PM
Response to Original message
4. Go out and rent old Kung-fu, then invite your friends over for poker.
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Droopy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 01:36 PM
Response to Original message
5. Beer
You can multi-task and drink beer while you are playing video games or DUing.

Let me ask you something. Why do capitalize all of your 'L's? Is it just a style thing or is there some deep, dark, sinister reason why you do it?
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sniffa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 01:45 PM
Response to Reply #5
15. i Like beer
but i'LL probabLy just induLge in the green stuff.

L = LiberaL
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Droopy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 01:51 PM
Response to Reply #15
19. That's a good one, too
Thanks for clearing up the 'L' thing. I was thinking it was some subliminal, hypnotic thing that you use to brainwash other members of the board. That's what too much LSD in your youth will do for you.
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Fridays Child Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 01:39 PM
Response to Original message
7. Take a forty-five minute...
...dump while reading a car magazine. It's an authentic guy thing. ;)
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sniffa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 01:43 PM
Response to Reply #7
12. i do that normaLLy
cept usuaLLy i read mick foLey's "have a nice day" whiLe i'm in there. the "private office" is of LittLe vaLue with the house empty. i might as weLL just be in and done with it (Like women do). :P
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Droopy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 01:47 PM
Response to Reply #7
17. That's a good idea
I haven't done that in ages. Thanks for reminding me.

You know, you can never rush a good thing.
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tandot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 01:39 PM
Response to Original message
8. get a body pillow
http://store5.yimg.com/I/comfortstore_1800_6822965

this way you can still cuddle up ...

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sniffa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 01:42 PM
Response to Reply #8
10. no, i'm against cuddLing
of course i'LL miss it tonight, but in practice, i'm against it.
Like 'max power', "you don't cuddLe; you strap yourseLf in and feeL the g's."
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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 01:43 PM
Response to Original message
11. Walk around in your underwear.
Unless you do this normally, of course.

Be amused by the smells and sounds of your own farts.
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sniffa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 01:44 PM
Response to Reply #11
13. true
but it's just not the same without someone around to be mortified by them.
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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 01:45 PM
Response to Reply #13
14. No one to play "dutch oven" with either.
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sniffa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 01:48 PM
Response to Reply #14
18. exactLy!!!
dutch oven - aLways makes me giggLe.
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jdonaldball Donating Member (684 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 01:47 PM
Response to Original message
16. Examine your toes
I mean, when was the last time you REALLY looked at them?
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mongo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 02:38 PM
Response to Original message
20. How about a porno and a pocket pussy
might render Ms. Sniffa obsolete....
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Shananigans Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 02:52 PM
Response to Original message
21. You're married?
Break my heart, why dontcha! ;)
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sniffa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 07:27 PM
Response to Reply #21
22. weLL, commonLaw marriage
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Elidor Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 07:35 PM
Response to Original message
23. Leave the seat up
Just because you can
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TroubleMan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-19-04 07:42 PM
Response to Original message
24. Get real high/drunk and watch Fantasy Mission Force

http://www.opuszine.com/movies/review.html?reviewID=199

Then call your wife on the phone to explain to her how the leaders of the Allied forces in WWII were Abraham Lincoln and Robert Forster.

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