Okay, how do you know someone is just not interested in you?

[AquariDem]

This'll sound lame, but...

I've had this crush on this older woman who goes to school with me for quite a while. She seems happy to see me when I see her in the halls, but when I tried e-mailing her a couple times over the summer, I got one-sentence responses with really bad capitalization (a month later). Is it just that she's really busy, or simply doesn't like me?

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

1. Could be either one, perhaps she is too shy or confused

to tell you, or embarassed to go forward with it.

Make a stand man!

[tarkus]

2. I always assume that they don't like me...

And never attempt to establish romantic relationships. It is safe, and I am all about safety for everything. I don't know if myy approach to romance is one for everyone though.

[AquariDem]

6. That's what I've been doing for quite a while

Hasn't worked. :eyes:

[pasadenaboy]

3. honest opinion?

Just go for it. Ask her out. If she says no, than you know.

Life's too short to try to figure out what people are really thinking.

[radwriter0555]

31. Rule #1; "If they don't call, they're not interested"....

Has withstood the test of time.

Would apply to emails too. There's something going on that would make her not write for a month, and then be half-hazard. She's not very together, and unless you like drama and problems, isn't a good match.

[roughsatori]

4. Ask her for a "date" on a specific night doing a specific thing

You will know your answer then. Remember you must not pussy foot. Use the word date. Example: Hey Sue would you like to go on a date with me Friday night to see that new movie." Be ready, If she says I saw it, you have another one to suggest. If she says she is busy on Friday you say: How about Tuesday?"

If she agrees, then cancels without setting a new date: kill her.

I am brave though: I have asked many individuals: Are you attracted to me sexually? Intellectually? and Romantically? It is exhilarating to me.

[AquariDem]

9. Actually, she's asked me to a couple

of events before, but that doesn't really tell me much. Do I have to be that assertive? :scared:

[roughsatori]

10. Yes ,being a wimp is not attractive except to sadists

who will want to torture you. Ask her out tomorrow! :P

[XanaDUer]

11. Yes, faint heart never won fair lady

GO for it! Then you'll know.

I am fairly assertive about these things-but remember, even if she says "no", you're still you and worth being loved.

[dfong63]

15. what are you waiting for??!

Do I have to be that assertive?

you don't "have to" do anything. but unless you take the initiative, you might lose out on a good thing.

[SweetZombieJesus]

5. Pepper spray and mace are usually a big warning sign

j/k

[AquariDem]

7. Hey, I just thought I had chronic conjunctivitis

:D

[Nlighten1]

8. You have nothing to lose...

and everything to gain. Ask her out on a date.

[Elidor]

12. Hold on a minute

I've read some of the advice on this thread and I disagree strongly.

You don't have to ask her out on a "DATE." Just start asking her to do innocuous things. You ask if she's hungry and you grab a bite together. If she enjoys exercise, you ask her to walk around the lake with you, etc, etc. None of that formal crap is necessary at this stage. Just take every opportunity to spend time with her - and make it clear that you enjoy her company. That is all the opening you need to take it further. At some point she will begin to get the idea. She will respond accordingly. And doing things together without the stress of capital-D Dating will be much more natural and relaxed.

Save the heroic/chivalric Dating-with-Flowers thing for further down the road. This way, if it doesn't work out, you don't have to get crushed in the process. Best of luck to you! :thumbsup:

(And don't forget, she may be just as unsure of your feelings about her as you are about hers toward you.)

[ComerPerro]

28. here is someone who knows how to play it

I agree completely. You don't have to say "date". It could be better that you don't.

[_NorCal_D_]

32. I agree.

I usually just say "so, do you want to get lunch or something?", or some other awkward question.

I never mention the D-Word. B-)

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

13. This sounds really lame but I ask them

I really hate fucking around

[Prisoner_Number_Six]

14. I have no idea...

That's something that's simply never happened to me!

[WINEWOMAN7]

16. How do you know someone is not interested in you

Aquaridem

I hope you will tell us what happens when you ask your lady love the honesty of your feelings. Let it all hang out and say it as it is.

[ScreamingMeemie]

17. I am not an email type person. My replies are usually hastily put together

with little thought. Lots of times I forget to check my mail. She just might be one who prefers the phone or one on one. Ask her. Good luck!

[BiggJawn]

18. When the Sheriff serves you....

..With the Restraining Order.

[AquariDem]

19. Update: She's in the comp lab right, now, and I have no guts.

...

[ScreamingMeemie]

20. Go go go...We are all here rooting for you.

What could possibly happen? At least you will know. Be strong!

[AquariDem]

22. Actually, I hear her inviting this other girl

to something. Damn!

[HEyHEY]

21. Not that she doesn't like you...

She just doesn't wanna be with you.

[AquariDem]

23. I'll be in my room, listening to Nirvana

Oh well, Just found out she's got a girlfriend. Well, tomorrow's another day.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

24. She has a girlfriend, or she has a date?

There IS a difference; and since she's already expressed a liking for your company by asking you out, I think you should ask her.

The worst that could happen is you'd get to know each other better...
:-)

[AquariDem]

25. Nope, actual girlfriend

Oh well, back to the drawing board...

[classics]

26. When you say 'Do you want to do it with me?'

They say 'Oh my god no!'. :D

[JVS]

27. Poor typography is the kiss of death!

It means she hates you! ;-)

[AntiBushRepub]

29. Hmmm..

No one has mentioed the "just pull it out and show it to her" option.

;-)

Just kidding'...

On a serious note, women like confidence..

Be sure of yourself but not aggressive...

Nice, sweet, but not all sappy...

-An

[AquariDem]

34. I'm a woman, so that first option would be

rather bizarre. (An artificial one?) :evilgrin: Actually, it's over. I just found out she's got a girlfriend.

[Buns_of_Fire]

30. Stun guns,

Moving away and leaving no forwarding address, Getting you drunk and leaving you by the side of the Interstate in the next county, Large (and generally unfriendly) males answering her door when you call, Pushing you into the path of a speeding car... Hey, I can take a hint...

[primavera]

33. It certainly isn't an indication

that she's interested and is eager to further communication with you. Busy's one thing, but if you're interested in someone, or even just think you might be, you'll take a few minutes to encourage a dialog so that you at least have the chance to get to know the person better; to let overtures go unanswered suggests that she's not losing any sleep thinking about you. Which is not to say she actively dislikes you, just that you're not on her radar screen.