REPUBLICAN NATL COMMITTEE CONVENTION SCHEDULE,

[Champion Jack]

REPUBLICAN NATL COMMITTEE CONVENTION SCHEDULE, New York, New York


6pm Opening Prayer: Rev. Jerry Falwell
6:30pm Pledge of Allegiance
6:35pm Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd
amendment)
6:45pm Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
6:46pm Seminar #1: Getting your kid a military deferment
7:30pm First Presidential Beer Bong
7:35pm Serve Freedom Fries
7:40pm EPA Address #1: Mercury, it's what's for dinner
8pm Vote on which country to invade next
8:10pm Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
8:15pm John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after your children
8:30pm Roundtable discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only)
8:50pm Seminar #2: Corporations: the government of the future
9pm Condi Rice sings "I Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"
9:05pm Second Presidential Beer Bong
9:10pm EPA Address #2 Trees: the real cause of forest fires
9:30pm Break for secret meetings
10pm Second prayer, led by Cal Thomas
10:15pm Lecture by Carl Rove: Doublespeak made easy
10:30pm Rumsfeld demonstration: How to squint & talk macho
10:35pm Bush demonstration of trademark deer-in-headlights stare
10:40pm John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory Kevlar chastity belt
10:45pm Clarence Thomas reads list of black republicans
10:46pm Third Presidential Beer Bong
10:50pm Seminar #3: Education: a drain on our nation's economy
11:10pm Hilary Clinton Pinata
11:20pm Second John Ashcroft Lecture: Evolutionists: the dangerous new cult
11:30pm Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again
11:35pm Blame Clinton
11:40pm Laura serves milk & cookies
11:50pm Closing Prayer, led by Jesus Himself
12am Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord

[Leilani]

1. Funny stuff!!

How about a Pat Robertson seminar on the evils of science?