my stoLen Lunch was not a mistake

[sniffa]

someone stoLe my Lunch today. i noticed one of my coworkers had incriminating evidence on his desk and shirt - crumbs, peanut butter and jeLLy. i asked him if he had seen my Lunch, and he said he had not. aLthough i wanted to beLieve him, i then noticed an empty brown bag in the garbage can next to his desk which had my name on it. so i ask about the evidence in the trash.
my coworker cLaims ignorance. again, i want to beLieve him but it's difficuLt considering the evidence. when finaLLy deciding to give up and waLk away i notice in his posession a Love note my wife packs in the Lunch every day. i caLL attention to it and ask how he can, with a straight face say he didn't take my Lunch.

coworker thug: i never said that. Look, your Lunch is gone.. there's no point in arguing over what happened to it. pointing fingers won't bring your sandwich back, but it wiLL undermine the confidence of your wife in her sandwich making abiLity. so Let's move past our differences and agree that your wife shouLd start using chunky peanut butter.

jeez, i don't think i can ever trust my coworker again. from now on i'm keeping a watchfuL eye on this c. poweLL in the neighboring cube.

[GOPisEvil]

1. Ha! Excellent!

[sniffa]

6. thank you

i take it you got the joke here. :D

i'm just stiLL compLeteLy baffLed by this:

Asked to comment on opinion polls indicating a majarity of Americans now believe invading Iraq was a mistake, Powell replied: "I'd say it wasn't a mistake. Saddam Hussein is gone. We don't have to debate any longer as to whether or not there are or will be or were weapons of mass destruction. They are gone."

humor is an easy way for me to deaL with rage.

[nini]

2. uh.. he stole while at work

he should be fired IMHO.

[Hawkeye-X]

3. Report the theft to your boss

Chances are, the boss will fire his sorry ass. (If necessary) go buy a disposable camera, record all evidence, including love notes and the paper bag with your name on it AT the co-worker's garbage can.

Provide the evidence, and ask the scumbag to come in to the boss so he can see what a fucking slob he is...

Hawkeye-X

Alternate: Place a mousetrap on your lunch bag. Wait for the screams.

Hawkeye-X

[sniffa]

8. pLease see above

this isn't "true" in the sense that i actuaLLy have a coworker named "c. poweLL" who stoLe my Lunch and then Lied about despite overwheLming evidence to the contrary... i was just poking fun of coLin poweLL. :D

[Blue-Jay]

4. Leave a tuna fish sammich that you beat off on.

Let the asswipe steal that.

[prolesunited]

7. Eeeew!!!

That's just gross! :puke:

[sus]

5. that is the best story i've heard all week.

that guy (while he is obviously going DOWN!) is good with the excuses. what bravado! what an appetite! what an ass!

I give this thread a thumbs up and declare it "Definitely a crowd pleaser!"

[ronnykmarshall]

9. That was great!

You're on it today!

[sniffa]

11. gracias

that's spanish for "thank you". :P

[Rabrrrrrr]

10. LOL!

Sniffa, you the funniest some times!

[sniffa]

12. thank you

it's great to be recognized.

[tandot]

13. I bet that Powell guy has a nice, big car. Just take his keys and

take it for a long ride. Bring it back with scratches, dents, and an empty tank. Ask him how he feels to have something taken away that belongs to him, without permission, and returned back unusable and broken.

We all need to watch out for guys like that Powell.

[sniffa]

14. hopefuLLy

his dignity wiLL be scratched and dented as weLL. did i mention he went so far as giving a power point demonstration? he cLaimed my Lunch never existed in the first pLace.

i'm dizzy now.

[sus]

16. you are cracking me up. more! more!

[sniffa]

18. weLL

one of my other coworkers (j. marshaL i think is his name but don't quote me on it) was being a nosey shit and Listening in. at some point during c. poweLL's deniaL, j. marshaL started shaking his head in a disagreeing manner.

to my chagrin, c. poweLL started yeLLing at him from across the room, "if you have something to say, then say it!"

i was going to teLL poweLL that his outburst was inappropriate and rude, but i couLdn't get a word in over his admonishment of marshaL's bad manners.




(sorry, it's the end of the day and i'm packin it in.. i'LL be funnier Later)

[tandot]

19. Well, a power point presentation is powerful evidence. Are you sure

you brought a sandwich to work? Are you sure your wife wrote a note? Are you sure you have a wife?

Who in their right mind would doubt a powerful power point presentation? :crazy:

[sniffa]

20. you may be right

i mean separateLy, it seems as if i had a sandwich, i had a wife, and she wrote me a note.... but when it's aLL taken together in the context of this post 9/11 worLd it appears that i may not have had a sandwich after aLL.

i'm even dizzier now

[Hoping4Change]

15. Someone stole my hot dog in New York!

I was visiting NYNY for the first time and though I was warned about keeping a close eye on my bag nobody warned me about keeping just as close an eye on my lunch. I was sitting at a lunch counter and turned towards my friend to study a map moments later when I reached for my hot dog it was gone!

[sniffa]

17. i remember getting a hot Lunch in the city once

[commander bunnypants]

21. been there last week

glad you caught the thief

DDQM

[sniffa]

22. i'm gLad he's caught as weLL

but, i tried to taLk his boss into firing him but he refused. he said c. poweLL "makes a convincing case" and "he's doing a magnificent job."

i think the boss is Losing it - he then went on some rant about 9-11 as if it's somehow connected to my missing sandwich.