Tell your adoption story here

[x-g.o.p.er]

I was adopted when I was born, was an only child, and I have a pretty good relationship with my parents, all things considered. In 1996, my biological mother tracked me down, and I found out I have a whole other "branch" of my family tree, to include three brothers and a sister. It may seem funny, but I am as close to them as my adoptive family. Still a lot of friction for the whole situation from my dad, but my mom seems to be pretty cool with the whole thing. I don't plan on the two branches ever meeting...it would seem like an uber-rupture in the time space continuum, so by keeping them apart I am saving all of mankind. At least that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Anyways, that's the Cliff's notes. Ask any questions, and I'll provide as many answers as I can.

I'd like to hear any other adoption stories, either from the child or parent point of view.

[Rabrrrrrr]

1. One thing I've long wondered about

and I'm not adopted, in case that makes a difference, which I don't think it does, but I often wonder about all the confidentiality surrounding adoptions and the difficulty of tracking down one's biological parents, and whether that's a good thing just in terms of being able to have a medical history.

I mean, if one's biological parents end up dying early due to hereditary diseases or something, if I were an adopted person, I'd want to know that. And even beyond early deaths, etc., I'd want to know if there is a tendancy toward heart disease, diabetes, bone deterioration, liver disease, etc. etc. etc., in my bioliogical family. Seems to me, though, that most adopted children are SOL in terms of trying to find any of that out.

What do you think of that? Or am I wrong, and perhaps when it comes to medical history, it IS easy to get info about one's biological parents?

[x-g.o.p.er]

3. Wow, good question....

I was adopted by an agency called Lutheran Social Services of Minnesota, and they (according to my biological mom) asked them to voluntarily have her and my biological father fill out medical history forms. So that information is available to me, but I don't know about someone who has to do good old fashioned detective work to find out who their parents were/are.

[seventhson]

2. are you glad she tracked you down

did you "miss" them growing up and/or agonize over it when you were a teen or young adult, etc.?

I work in this field and it is pretty unclear what happens to kids who are adopted (and I guess it all depends on the adoptive parents and how cool they are)

[x-g.o.p.er]

4. Yes, I am very glad she did.

Did I miss them growing up? Sometimes. My mom and dad fought a lot, were both alcoholics, and divorced when I was a little kid. So sometimes I would imagine that they were really rich and famous, and would come get me on really bad days.

As I grew older, I really wanted to know my roots. I mean, I have roots, and I love my family with all their warts, but sometimes it just bugged me not knowing. After I had been married and had kids, it became less important to me, and the "bugged" feeling ebbed, and I came to terms with the fact that I'd never know, and I was cool with it. Then, of course, a few months later I got the word she was looking for me, lol. And it's been great. They're normal, down to earth folks who are a fun-loving, gregarious bunch.

But I must confess, if they had been dysfunctional and had some serious baggage, I don't know that I would have wanted to continue the relationship. I know it sounds callous and shallow, but I really don't want to expose my kids to that.

[testing123]

5. Did she tell you why she gave you up?

Years ago people had to be wealthy in order to adopt a baby. Did you have a better life economically with your adoptive parents then you would have had with your biological parents?

[x-g.o.p.er]

7. She was poor and couldn't afford to raise me.

Funny thing was, my parents were poor, too. Economically, it was a push. Maybe an edge to my parents, because I was the only mouth to feed, and come Christmsa time, all the stuff under the tree was mine, lol.

[MisterP]

6. my cousin by marriage (Signal Corps, in Baghdad)

and my cousin (his wife) have two adopted daughters; they're rather nice, although the 4-year-old one throws tantrums... We get baby pictures from their ever-shifting e-mail address. They live in Texas now, not Germany, as the Army keeps shuffling them about.

[Kadie]

8. I'm an adoptive mom

What an amazing experience. I won't go into too many details, but I will say that I never knew one could love another person so much. What a wonderful gift to have him in my life.

I am glad that your experience with your biological family went well.