I'm talking on messenger to my friend John in Scotland, who has just informed me that he's suffering from "painful trapped wind" (which I'm assuming is just good ol' *gas* to us 'Murkins). I am about to piss myself laughing.
Is it me, or is that like one of the funniest phrases ever?
...and doesn't decide to blow you off! After all flatulence gets you nowhere...
As a sidebar, this reminds me of an old college dorm neighbor who was kinda cool but had the odd habit of taking his lighter and igniting his farts as he sat in his chair talking to us (only person I've ever seen do this)...The last time I saw him try this, it was in warm weather and he was wearing shorts...I remember seeing a blue and then yellow flames around his crotch before he suddenly jumped up and started yelling "ouch ouch ouch!" holding himself...I guess the gas had pooled around his privvies and he burnt his testicles as well as a good portion of his pubic hair...I know I for one was literally ROTFLMAO as he ran down the hall to the bathroom... I think that was the last time he did that!
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