You know you're in the San Joaquin Valley in July...

[salmonhorse]

When...

The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the
ground.

The trees are whistling for the dogs.

The best parking place is determined by shade instead of
distance.

Hot water now comes out of both taps.

You can make sun tea instantly.

You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good
branding iron.

The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.

You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer
your car.

You discover that you can get sunburned through your car
window.

You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30
a.m.

Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked
out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"

You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull
one out and add butter, salt and pepper.

Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep
them from laying boiled eggs.

The cows are giving evaporated milk.

Words of Wizdom from Cozy Cole ~

[Jack Rabbit]

1. Very good

"Very good," he said, recalling his childhood in Stockton.

[ZenLefty]

2. My girlfriend's father is fond of saying:

"It got so goddamn hot the jackrabbits were carrying water bottles." :o

[ronnykmarshall]

3. So true

I grew up in Bakersfield and the remember the seatbelt thing all too well.