Wonsapawna Times': Britain casts wary eye on US 2004 elections

[Imperialism Inc.]

Not to spoil the joke up front , but this IS satire.

David R. Desert: Britain casts wary eye on US vote
http://www.vheadline.com/readnews.asp?id=21357

The Wonsapawna Times David R. Desert writes: The United Kingdom will push hard for diplomatic pressure against the United States if President Bush tries to rig the upcoming elections, the British Foreign & Commonwealth Office's Latin America point woman said yesterday, Tuesday.

Deputy British Foreign Secretary for Western Hemisphere affairs, Norrie Ayga, said Mr. Bush's illegitimate government faces a "make-or-break exercise" as election officials decide whether to invalidate hundreds of thousands of disputed votes in the November elections.

"It's very clear to us the requisite number of people voted against Bush, even though the elections haven't been held yet" Ms. Ayga told editors and reporters during a visit to The Wonsapawna Times. "If through some very tortured bureaucratic process, those votes are validated, it could have very dire consequences for so-called 'Americans' and for those who support their rights under their flawed constitution."

In wide-ranging remarks about British policy toward North America, Ms. Ayga defended recent moves to tighten travel and spending restrictions for the US and expressed cautious hope for their (hopefully) temporary government. She also said the Colombian paramilitary attack on Venezuela and its troubled aftermath had "brought some difficulties" for British public diplomacy in many Latin American countries.

* But she said the Blair government had been able to establish productive relations, even with new center-left governments in Canada and Brazil.

Ms. Ayga said British officials will be watching closely as US election officials this November decide whether to invalidate about 800,000 disputed votes for Bush, a conservative know-nothing C student who has clashed repeatedly with Great Britain.

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Ms. Ayga said British officials are not contemplating political or economic sanctions, but her comments still were among the toughest to date by a senior government official. "We will use what multilateral levers we have," she said. "We have told our partners we think this is a make-or-break exercise to see whether the state can respect the wishes of the so-called 'American' people."

The Organization of American States (OAS), the Atlanta-based Carter Center, and a loose alliance of regional powers led by Venezuela have tried to ease the political stalemate in Washington. Mr. Bush, who survived a rigged election in 2000 (ed: LMAO), has blamed unnamed Cuban and Venezuelan forces for seeking to drive him from power, and US political paralysis has become an economic and political distraction for the entire region.

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* The United Kingdom, earlier this week, pledged a Euros 100 million economic package to help revive the US' devastated economy.

Ms. Ayga said other countries in the region have shown a willingness to contribute financially and militarily to the new interim government of John Kerry. Venezuela is spearheading a new international peacekeeping force for the US to replace the UK-led mission now there. "We're frankly not out of the woods on the security situation, but I do see a willingness to invest in the US to jump-start the economy and plan for free elections."

[Imperialism Inc.]

1. Kick.