Ever been dumped, rejected or laughed at?

[zizzer]

My wife and I had a long talk about this last night and I was curious to see if others here have had similar bad expereinces. I am actualy considering writing a book about my failed sexual and romantic exploits.

A few to get you started.

When I was 16 or 17 I had a kegger at my fathers house while he was away on vacation, I invited a bunch of people. One of those people was a girl I had had a thing for for a long time. Called her on the phone, asked her come and be my date for the big party. She arrives at party time with a date. I was crushed.

Some years later I was living in my friends basement. I answered the phone one day and started up a conversation with a friend of my friends and we realy hit it off. We talked several times over the next few days, sometimes several times a day. Finaly, she was gonna come over so we could meet and get to now each other better...wink. So the time arrives. She knocks on the door. I answer it. There she is, and she was gorgeouse! Truely. Like centerfold super model sort of gorgeousse. Big goofy smile on her face. Until she got a good look at me. Smile slid of her face. SHe tried, I'll give her that. SHe tried to not let it show...but she failed. She got very nervouse and withdrawn...things went down hill from there. I had never asked what she looked like. She had never asked me. I never saw her again.

One night at a party I was drinking with a friend, a very pretty friend and things were going smoothly. We ended up late in the night, snuggled on a couple of blankets on the basement floor (different basement) talking and snuggling. I was drunk. She was drunker. I made a consciouse decision, even after she took off her panties to NOT take advantage of the situation. Eventauly we fell asleep. The next day she seemed sheepish and told me how wonderfull I was and that I was such a gentelman for not taking advantage of her. Later that afternoon she disappeared into someone elses room and was gone for hours. I was crushed. I do still have that pair of panties and a couple of snapshots of her without her shirt on though (long story about the photos).

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't regret treating women with respect, I've never been one to kiss ont he first date, I've never taken advantage of a woman that was drunk. I've had a chance to talk some of these old rejections and I believe most of them when they tell me they had no idea of how I felt or that my advances were geniune. I can laugh about *most* of these experiences now.

So, what's your worst rejection? Ever have someone just shoot you down? Laugh at you? Come on spill it will make you feel better.

Should I write a book?

Zizzer, now happily married to the woman of my dreams...who incidentaly shot me down the first time I made an advance on her too...

[Syn_Dem]

1. Definitely

It seems the females in middle school/high school tend to be the hardest to please, especially in my position. I have stories aplenty, not really any noteworthy ones, but lots of rejected offers to dances...being strung along for a year and half...etc.

[zizzer]

12. No, no, no! Vent. Let it all out

Come on I shared. You can too.

Who has the worst one?

OK, here's another so folks will free about there grief and pain.

OK, I went out with a young woman (we were 17 when we started dating) for about a year and a half. As things are want to do with teen love affairs it ended badly. Now, you should know, since it is important to this story that I used to do Renisance and mid-evil reanactment and Ren Fairs. Well one day she shows up at the fair that I am working at (after we had broken up) dressed head to foot in garb that I had bouoght her, like $275 worth of garb in 1990 with her new boyfriend. Proceeds to tell me that the night before she had done all sorts of bad things without his knowledge or consent and that she was still riding some of it out. Then, she turned and walked away. Left me there watching my $275 worth of clothes leave surrounding a very innebriated and guilt ridden ex. I was crushed. I never saw her again. I may actualy pay the $36 to Classmates.com to send her mail to find out if she is divorced, fat and unhappy...I hope she's not. I hope she's happy, I do...most of the time...

OK, come on people. It helps. All those old wounds. They may not seem like much now but you can make them less if you can show them the light of day and laugh about them now!

Zizzer

[newyawker99]

84. Congrats Syn_Dem!! 200 posts

:toast:

[JackDragna]

2. Getting shot down is part of dating..

Dating is all about being humilated, having all your weaknesses exposed, being treated like human garbage and being kicked around by other people. The only people more vicious than children are those weeding people out to see which ones with which they'd like to be in a relationship. If you're not getting your heart stomped on many a time during the course of dating people over the years, you're not doing it right.

[leftist_rebel1569]

3. Yes, write it!

I'd read it, definitely...I'd make me feel better about things i've been through...:scared:

[JackDragna]

6. Jumping..is useless..

I'm sorry, I couldn't resist after I saw the tagline.

[leftist_rebel1569]

7. no, it's ok...

I love it when people comment on my sig line!

"If you have a problem with that, maybe you should take that up with Mr. Laser..."

[JackDragna]

8. Get back inside!

"Oh, you guys are fighting!" "We're fighting!"

[zizzer]

29. what did I miss?

I've come back to this a cpouple of times. All I can say is "Huh?".

Zizzer

[JackDragna]

34. It's from a show..Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

Pay it no mind.

[zizzer]

14. Come on...don't be vague...

we want details. I promise not use them in my book!

Zizzer

[leftist_rebel1569]

88. Don't feel like details...

Maybe some other day...(this was very recent, BTW)

[zizzer]

89. OK, this time...

I was more interested in OLD dead history more than reliving recent hurts.

Let that fester for a while, tell the story to others a few times, then come back and tell us all about it...especialy the juicy bits!

Zizzer

[arwalden]

4. ... AND Cheated On. (The Bastard!)

-- Allen

[zizzer]

15. Oh...do tell

Ever walk in on ...um...your partner with someone else of their um...damn this get's complicated.

Ever walk in on a partner who you thought you knew with someone you didn't expect? Did that make sense?

Who cares.

We want details. At least I do!

Zizzer

[arwalden]

17. When Your Loved One Brings Home Crabs...

... And I'm not talking Dunguness or Chesapeake Bay either... then you know something is wrong.

-- Allen

[GOPisEvil]

22. Yep...been down that road. Being cheated on SUCKS!

Short version: I was in college, dating this woman. We were fairly close; close enough to share apartment keys. I guess we were going out for a few months. Anyway, one night, I told her I would be busy in the library on a project, and not to expect to see me. :dunce: Well, I get finished earlier than I expected. I figured :think: I'll go see her, take some dinner, get laid...the whole deal... Well, I opened her door, and saw that the living room was dark. I could hear voices, but I figured she might have the TV in her bedroom on. I put my food down in the kitchen, and wandered towards the bedroom...Well, I found her in flagrante delicto with some other guy. So, while they were covering themselves, I took her key off my key ring, grabbed my food from the kitchen and left, saying nothing.

She called me later saying, "It's not what it seems..." Er, it seemed like you were fucking some other guy to me *click*

I can laugh about it - now...then...:beer::grr:

[short bus president]

5. I'm 3 for 3 on your list

How 'bout "slapped in the face and called a pervert, in the privacy of your own bedroom?"

:evilgrin:

[zizzer]

16. Ummm...no.

I've been lucky in that regard.

Not to toot my own horn but once I get them into my bedroom there's not much rejecting going on.

Zizzer

[catzies]

18. Ahhh, I think you can relate to my story, then. Here goes:

It was 1991 and I was 29, he was 22. I don’t know what I saw in him other than he was smitten with me and as I had come off a bad breakup the year before, that suited me just fine. It was good for my ego at the time to have such a young guy thinking I was the cat’s meow.

He still lived with his parents, so we would spend the night together at my house. After a few months of dating it had begun to dawn on me that this guy was not very sexually creative, but I still hadn’t come up with any “deal breakers” so it continued on until one fateful night. The routine was always very little foreplay other than turning off the TV and the lights, and then all he’d do was just get on me and jackhammer away until he was done. Well, I was bored with that, not to mention chafed, so I spoke up. I said, “You know, I’d like a little something else this time. I’d really like it if you could “Kiss me down there.”

I was completely unprepared for what happened next. He abruptly got up out of my bed and without ever saying a word, dressed quickly and left my house in less than two minutes flat, while I sat up in bed, dumbfounded and speechless, just watching him flee.

He never called me after that and I never saw him again.

[zizzer]

23. Wow... What a jerk.

I hope you're happy now and have learned to find partners taht are more to your liking...or licking as the case may be.

I'm so bad!

Zizzer

[short bus president]

24. That's shocking and horrifying!

I feel compelled to invite you over now so I can kiss it and make it better. ;-)

[catzies]

31. Thanks! I always win "worst rejection" contests with that story.

I've grown more comfortable with the retelling since so much time has passed. I was crushed at the time and it threw me for a real hard, downward-spiral-of-crushing-low-self-esteem loop.

[short bus president]

46. I'm familiar with

that spiral. Follows me like a shadow.

I know it's rude as hell to say this, but gawd it's nice to know other people have felt it, too. I feel yer pain, and my offer stands for the "making it better" thing. ;-)

[catzies]

50. I'm already buying you a beer when you come to California!

But you don't like the NBA, so I won't take you to a Lakers game.

But we can go to the Reagan Library and accost the visitors, how's that sound?

[short bus president]

51. Woohoo! Accosting!

If its anywhere near as painful as accounting, I'm THERE!

But Cali is so far away... <pout>

[VelmaD]

85. Isn't that normal foreplay...

with you honey? ;-)

Sounds like the start of a wild night to me.

DV

[zizzer]

86. WHY? WHY did you do it?

This thread had died and gone to the happy hunting grounds of the archives.

But since you brought it back up...:)

Zizzer

[TXlib]

95. That happens to me just about every night.

[MiltonLeBerle]

9. Not all people like rehashing some of their most painful moments-

and humiliating things about their past that they regret. For some, the rejections never ended, and they didn't hook up with the woman/man of their dreams. They've done the best they can to learn and move on from the experience, but have no desire to dig up the past, and feel the same hurt all over again.

On the other hand, other people might like going over them, and maybe even reading about those of others.

There are all sorts of books on all sorts of topics- if you can do it in an entertaining fashion that makes for a good read, go for it. Also- if you can't find a publisher, look into self-publishing...the internet is making things easier and easier.

[MiltonLeBerle]

13. Btw- you really blew it with the drunk chick.

Kobe's case aside-
if you had been 'snuggling' for a while, drunk or not, once she takes the panties off- it's go time.
actually, if she had to take the panties off, it's long past go time- she was sending you what we call a "strong signal"...and by taking off with the other guy the next day, she was sending you an even stronger signal.
What were you waiting for, an engraved invitation?

[zizzer]

20. NO. I was waiting for...

a sober person capable of making a decision based on something other than drink.

I'm sorry you feel that way about women. Like I said in the first bit, I have allways treated women with respect and it has gotten me a lot of heart ache. That doesn't mean that I would change my morals just to get my rocks off.

Zizzer

[MiltonLeBerle]

40. That's fine-

and the next day that was exactly what you got.

From the situation you described, she was sending you a pretty solid signal...she may have said later that she appreciated it, but she definitely felt rejected, as evidenced by her deciding to 'disappear' with someone else. There's nothing immoral about getting your rocks off with someone who wants to get her rocks off just as much.

Learn the dance.

[Booberdawg]

62. You're a REAL man, zizzer.

;-) :thumbsup:

[zizzer]

65. Thank you

I may have some wild stories but I pride myself in the fact (and small consilation it is) that I have always been a gentelman with women.

All things are not fair in love or war.

Zizzer

[MiltonLeBerle]

74. one point-

Not all women want a man to be "a gentleman" all the time...It may amaze you to know that they are healthy sexual beings as well, with desires and appetites of their own...but many of them don't want to be the one to initiate, for fear of being seen as a 'slut'. I'm not advocating, nor have I ever practised "date rape"- but men do themselves a big favour by learning to read the signals-
You said that you were never one to kiss on a first date, and then seem surprised that some of the women who "rejected" you were unaware of your affections- did it ever occur to you that for at least some of them, not (or at least not trying to) kissing them on a first date is taken as a sign that you:

1.aren't interested in or attracted to her

2.lack the confidence in yourself to do so.

[GOPisEvil]

91. I agree with *this* post of yours, however...

There is a reason that sleeping with a drunk woman is called "taking advantage of the situation". That's because you are taking advantage of someone who's not thinking clearly.

Sure, it may have cost him in terms of sexual enjoyment for that evening, but at least his conscience is clean. NOT thinking with your dick can be good.

But, most men (including myself in a big way) need to be better at reading signals and giving the right signals themselves.

[MiltonLeBerle]

93. why couldn't she have been the one "taking advantage of the situation"?

growing up, boys are trained to think that sex is something they want, the girl doesn't, and that it's his job/goal to 'finesse' her into 'giving up the goods'.

She was the one that was undressing herself after all, and she may not have been quite as drunk as our hero might have thought-
Why couldn't she have been the one that was trying to take advantage of the situation? and why couldn't her reaction to him the next day be about her considering him to be just another c***-teaser?

[GOPisEvil]

96. That's a lot of what-ifs.

I'm not doubting that what you say could be correct, but, just from my perpsective, it's better safe than sorry.

The battle of the sexes would be much easier if we talked to each other more, instead of relying on signals, but I'm guilty of signal-sending, too.

[MiltonLeBerle]

98. But sometimes a guy can think he's being gallant-

when he's really being more of a goofus.

[Name removed]

75. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[MiltonLeBerle]

81. If SHE took off her own panties-

SHE had something in mind. I know that this is probably a revelation to you but there are actually some women who enjoy sex,(well, maybe not with you) and actually try to initiate the act.
Just because something doesn't happen for you, it doesn't mean it doesn't happen for anyone.

:eyes:
Guys who can't understand the signals are the guys that have most of their encounters with their own hand.

[Syn_Dem]

10. I've never actually been struck

Im kinda curious as to how that is like. Call me strange? :shrug:

[zizzer]

21. You're strange!

Does that help?

If you want to be hit I bet you can look in your local paper and find someone willing.

Zizzer

[GOPisEvil]

11. Dumped, rejected, laughed at? Describes my dating life perfectly!

I got rejected and laughed at all in the same event. Sheesh - ask the wrong woman out and the whole school's laughing at ya...

Oh well...write the damned book, at least I can commiserate!

[Zolok]

19. Met a likely prospect for drinks after work

after some delightful conversation I suggested we repair across the street to a restaurant for dinner (things were going well up unto now-but wait, read on)...
She demured forcefully claiming she had leftover macaroni and cheese at home she "needed to finish off".
She kept smiling drinking and talkiing....but that macaroni and cheese was her destination that night without question.
No amount of cajolery and whatnot from me could dissuade her from a rendezvous with this plate of day old pasta and cheez-whiz...
Up until now I'm crushed and hiding it, but as we left...just for a moment I caught the eye of the bartender who gave me a contemptuous and pitying look.
I've basically sworn off dating and women since then....
I mean think about it, the price of a box of Kraft macaroni and cheese is about $1.19...so a day old platte of stuff must be worth what....50 cents?
My company, my personality, my libido, my prospects are worth LESS than fifty cents...I've been sold out at wholesale prices in the romance marketplace.

[mac56]

26. She may have had an eating disorder.

Or been terribly phobic of restaurant food.

What I'm saying is, it wasn't necessarily you.

[Zolok]

49. No she has a healthy appetite

we'd eaten in the proposed restaurant before...and there were several other fine eateries within easy walking distance.
My companionship is worth .50 cents...there is no getting around that.

[mac56]

52. It was her loss.

Whatever her reason was. I don't think it was the mac and cheese.

[MiltonLeBerle]

58. Exactly.

But I'm a little confused- you refer to her as "a likely prospect", but then say that "we've eaten there before"...
Is this someone that you've been dating?

[zizzer]

28. Ouch!

That wound is still open huh?

Zizzer

[MiltonLeBerle]

53. She may have had later plans-

you didn't really describe the set-up...are you co-workers, or someone else you were meeting? was it a date, or "just getting together for drinks"? how long had it been set up? Do you know if she's seeing anyone?

there are a myriad possibilities- don't put the onus on you...
btw- what exactly is a 'contemptuous & pitying look'? It sounds like you might be doing some projecting. stop beating yourself up.

where do you live...? It may sound goofy, but a personal ad can wok, especially if you're in/around a big city. I met my wife thru an ad I put in the weekly Reader.

above all- confidence and self-assuredness(not to the point of arrogance and narcissism) counts way more than anything.

[Zolok]

68. She was a friend...

We'd gone out for drinks and dinner before I thought there was a vibe there...but I guess not.
More than likely she was dating or about to start dating someone...but that someone wasn't me.
And yes the bartender shot me a pitying and contemptuous look he'd heard the whole palaver trust me I know what I saw.
Won't have nuthin' to do with her no mo' and I won't be drinking in that establishment either.
So I've moved on.
I fully realize it wasn't the mac and cheese, it's the symbolism that galls me.

[northzax]

25. nope

but then I'm perfect in every way, including modesty.

[Bob3]

27. Yes - sometimes all in one day.

n/t

[Fixated]

30. ....

I've never really been shot down by a girl I was pursuing because I have a tendency not to make a move until I'm positive. One of my worst experiences with a girl, however, occured this January.

One of my best friends didn't have a date to the school dance. Nor did I. She wasn't planning on asking anyone, but we hadn't really talked about it. Her best friend (who is alse a great friend of mine) told me I should ask. We're friends, after all (and she happens to be gorgeous). So I asked, figuring that being my friend, she would basically be obligated to say yes. However, she said that she had planned on going alone. If she had said that she was waiting to ask a guy she liked, I would have understood. I'm just her friend, and that wouldn't have bothered me. But I was rejected in favor of no one. She would rather be alone at a dance than with me. I was pissed. Then, we got the dance pictures back (I didn't go to the dance, I was a tad on the upset side). She HAD a date. But...it wasn't a standard date. She had gone with him because he was interested in one of her friends and that was the only way for him to get to that friend. So I was not rejected for no one. She would rather help set someone up than go with me.

I still hold a bitter bitter grudge.

[zizzer]

37. yeah...when it's friends...

it really hurts. You get shot down AND lose a friend.

That girl from the party (first post) was a friend...not after that.

I've run into her actualy, many years later. She has not aged well and her husband is a jerk. Oh well.

A life well live is the best revenge!

Zizzer

[Syn_Dem]

32. I hear you bro

I'm planning on abstaing from all the school dances this year...instead I plan on going to my friends XBOX party!!!

[Fixated]

33. ...

I had my own "Porn and Tostitos" party that night.

[zizzer]

38. I agree!

No school dances for me either. I'd probably get arrested if I tried. I am 32.

Zizzer

[mac56]

35. You know that old line, "Sorry, I have to wash my hair that night"?

Sort of a parody of a blow-off line?

I actually got told that when I asked a girl out in high school. Not a joke. I think I'm the only guy in history who ever heard that one for real.

[corarose]

36. Think of it this way you might have not met your wife if the girl didn't

Dump you.

My ex dumped me for the Cerreta candy company owners little girl who knew him for 2 weeks and he married her.

They are divorced now and he is back in Scotland.

[zizzer]

43. I agree

I consider myself just about as lucky as a man can be. I do. Hell, if my wife hadn't rejected me the first time I came onto her I'm fairly certain we would not be together today. Things happened the way they did and they made me and her and everyone else who they are now.

Right now, I'm poretty happy with my ...no make that REALLY amazingly happy with my romantic life.

I could not be today what I am if I had not been what I was yesterday...or something else that makes more sense...

Zizzer

[Syn_Dem]

39. Well since everyone is sharing I might as well go into some of

mine....Hmm...first one. In 7th grade there was this one girl who I really liked..and I asked her out several times, but everytime I got a "maybe" or "Ill think about it" (ive learned now that its a nice way to say no) Anyway, in the beginning of 8th grade she FINALLY said yes, so I was satisfied with myself. Three days later she dumped me because her friend told her to. I guess I wasn't really sad or depressed..just...confused and awed at how stupid she is.

Another one was at a party, and we were all hanging around watching a movie...and EVERYONE had someone else to cuddle next to..and I was the only one sitting on the floor against a couch...I was kinda bothered by that.

Alright, my current dating situation (i've been going out with a great, awesome, sweet, intelligent, open-minded, liberal girl for two years, I'm in a long-distance relationship, I live in St. Louis, she in Cincinnati, and I can confidently say right now I really would want her forever (keep in mind Im a tender 15), she's just that great. But as young people....and being so far away things tend to get strained sometime...and this past march-june she was....cheating on me without my knowledge....and for some reason I blame myself for it, I usually am very sensitive to these things. I know she didn't want to hurt me, but it hurt like fuck, and I doubt I will ever recover from it, I seldom do. But we've made up and are on good open terms again...

So yeah, theres my thing, anyone else?

[zizzer]

47. kid...

From one with a long history of broken hearts, lose her.

I don't mean to be cold but it's tough out there and your setting yourself to be an emotional tampon.

My unsolicted advice: hit the gym four or five times a week, take danceing lessons, surrender your hair to a compitant stylist and find a girl friend (not a girlfriend) to take you shopping for clothes.

Show of hands...who here has been dumped for someone who knew how to dance?

Me!

Zizzer

[MiltonLeBerle]

60. 15-year olds don't have long-distance relationships.

Move on.

[WhoCountsTheVotes]

67. What makes you think she didn't want to hurt you?

Did she tell you about it? Perhaps she *did* want to hurt you. Perhaps she wanted some drama. People can be, uh, strange sometimes.

[Qutzupalotl]

77. You're both at that age...

where people test the waters to see what they can get away with. Plus the hormones are all over the place...:) You've got your best years ahead of you, so take it in stride if this thing you've got going now doesn't work out.

I think you're right that she didn't want to hurt you, I just don't think she thought about that. She just wanted to live life to its fullest, is my guess. You know, you can do the same if you want...you're free and young...

[leftofthedial]

41. only when posting on DU

[NightTrain]

42. All three, actually!

DUMPED: By a woman who suddenly decided that she wanted to get back together with the guy she'd had a brief affair with six months earlier.

REJECTED: As an apsiring novelist, I've received more rejection notices from agents and publishers than I could readily count.

LAUGHED AT: In school, was lousy at sports. In my 20s, I took a stab at stand-up comedy. And I was born with a rather bizarre and offbeat sense of humor.

[leftofthedial]

54. I'm a songwriter

I'll stack my quantity of rejections up against anybody's anywhere anytime.

[Rainydaze]

44. It happens.

Came home from work early one time after working a 14 hour day, opened the door rather quick and caught my ex-fiancee masturbating on the couch with my friends girlfriend. With said friend watching them.

That didn't last too long.

[Booberdawg]

55. Whoa!

Is it getting warm in here anybody?? Whew! Gotta turn down the A/C!

:nuke::nuke::nuke::nuke::nuke::nuke::nuke::nuke::nuke::nuke::nuke:

[Rainydaze]

59. It was a real laugh riot.

She's busy trying to explain that she isn't cheating. And that there was no sex going on, and even so It was with a girl so it didn't count. And besides, You're really open to new things right? My friend telling me to calm down, It wasn't anything. Just watching porn and got carried away...Ect. I dumped her a week later. But honestly, she dumped me in action if not in fact.

My birthday was the next month. She called me on my cellphone while I was at work, trying to explain how much she still cares about me and wants me as a friend and that I'm the nicest guy she ever met...Blah blah and happy birthday blah blah blah....3 year relationship...Over and done in about 15 minutes. I told her to go **** herself. Sort of appropriate given the situation. Told her I was seeing someone and that I don't want her ever to call back. **LIE LIKE A DOG** Put my fist through a rack holding routers, spilling cable and components everywhere.

That would be the worst situation I was in.

[Booberdawg]

64. Rainydaze

I don't think I need to say - but just in case - it wasn't my intention to make light of something that obviously hurt you. I don't think you took it that way but I want to make sure.:-)

I just thought that sex scene was HOT! I got a little carried away. I think I'm havin' a case of the vapors. And I really did have to turn down my air conditioner! Whew! :o

[Rainydaze]

70. Not taken that way.

It was over 3 years ago, I have a fiancee now. No offense even taken. Just finishing the talk.

[MISSDem]

45. You must be very young if those are the worst rejections that

you have had. Don't write a book cause ...

[zizzer]

48. yes...yes...

'cause what?

Come on...spill it. Can you beat it? Tell us. You sound bitter and resentful, you'll feel better if you get it off your chest.

I promise.

Zizzer

[MiddleRiverRefugee]

56. In 10th grade I went on a double date with twin girls from TX....

..and this was 1975, so don't get any ideas.

Two things I remember: (1) another friend of mine at this high school dance trying to hit on my date until I walked up and said hello; and (2) trying to put my arm around said twin from Texas and having her just stare briefly at my (apparently) unwelcome hand on her right shoulder. One of those small and subtle gestures that spoke volumes. She and her twin sister were absolutely beautiful..and never in my life do I recall wanting an evening to be just plain over.

As those know me well may testify: I am built for comfort, not speed.

[zizzer]

57. Wait a minute here...

You were on a date with BOTH of them?

I have all new respect for you...even if it didn't end well.

Zizzer

[MiddleRiverRefugee]

63. No, no...one pair twins, two guys...wait, that's not what I meant...ahhh..

Look: Essex, Maryland, 1975: Two guys double-dated with a pair of twins from Texas. One guy drove a blue Chevy Vega - the other guy (me) didn't drive yet.

In 1975 this was all considered wholesome stuff, ya know...

[zizzer]

66. you know...

I liked the version in my head better...

Zizzer

[patdem]

61. Here's one for the book...straight gal attracted to a guy looking gal

I was very attracted to a 'guy' and it turned out he was a she...no problem I told myself...I WAS ATTRACTED...but she thought my being 'straight' before I met her and the fact I thought she was a guy made me off limits. I called her, and all but begged her to meet me (well maybe I begged a little) cause I was SO attracted to him (her). She totally rejected me. I cannot blame her. But I continue to wonder what would have happened? I am with my sig other now 15 years (he is a male and I am a female)?

[SOteric]

69. Well, not laughed at

but just about every adult with any sort of active social life has at one point or another felt rejected, dumped, let go, given their walkin' papers, whatever you want to call it.

---

A fellow I had a long-standing attraction to was be charming and flirty. He would talk with me at length on any given subject. It always seemed to me that we had fun when we spent time in one another's company. But he never gave any indication that there was more to it for him than the sort of light, meaningless flirtation that is standard in many social circles. So I summoned up my courage and told him point blank that I was interested in him, romantically. (I was afraid I'd crap my drawers, I was so nervous.)

In the spirit of that same honesty he assured me he could never find himself romantically attracted to me. He had a thing for big-breasted Amazon blondes, and dammit he "deserved one." This scrawny, underweight little brunette never felt so unenchanting in her whole life. I held it together nicely (I think) but I went home and cried for a week.

Jeff L., -wherever you maybe in this world: I'm sure your Lady Love has at least one big boob.

---

In the "you've been dumped" department, I think the most spectacular occasion was when the guy I'd been seeing for about 6 or 7 months just dropped off the radar. Quit calling, ceased stopping by, didn't seem to show up at any of the usual spots. Friends of his just looked uncomfortable, said he "wasn't in town right now and they didn't know when he'd be back."

He showed up to comfort me a few years later at the funeral for the man who'd been my lover for most of the intervening years. We're actually quite close friends now, but I still do not recommend the 'evaporation' method to anyone hoping to end a relationship. That's one ugly f*cker of a way to find out you're not necessary to someone's continued happiness.

[monkeyboy]

71. Married for 10 years, 2 kids, and then one day, out of the blue...

I had been talking to a friend of mine, and had told him that I felt very fortunate that I was one of the few people I knew that had a really great relationship with a woman I truly loved. A few days later, my wife says "We have to talk". Blam! Outa the blue, it's over. The weird thing is, she refused to talk about it, other than to say she just wasn't happy. I never really found out what it was, and probably never will. She's an emotional coward from a long line of cowards. But I'm remarried, and this time I'm in a really great relationship with a woman I truly...hey, wait a minute...

[noiretextatique]

90. how terrible...not talking is so passive-agressive...HATE IT!!!

especially after ten years...glad you've found someone who deserves you.
i had a similar situation...the not talking thing.

she was having a hard time financially when i met her, so i gave her some money (well, it was a loan...but i'll never see that back) to buy her kid xmas presents, and i got some furniture and household items for her...stuff that neighbors and friends were giving away. i would do this for anyone, actually, but i couldn't stand to see
her go without...every dime she got went to taking care of her child, so she never bought things for herself. i bought her things...little things like sheets and an iron, just so she would have those things. i even bought her kid some extra xmas presents.

we had a disagreement (about her spoiled rotten kid), and poof...she was gone. refused to talk to me about it, and was a total coward about the whole thing. she wrapped herself up in mother/matryrdom and claimed talking to her about her rotten kid was a bigger affront that her not dealing with the kid's behavior. i tried several times to talk with her, but she was always such a bitch. she kept saying she wanted to be friends, but she kept treating like dirt...and she refused to address any of it. it was all MY problem.

before she stopped talking to me, i had promised her son a computer. when i had it ready, she wouldn't even come and pick it up...so determined was she never to set foot in my place again. i dropped the computer off (so she would have another excuse to blame me) and i never talked to her again. she didn't even have the decency to thank me. just about a year ago now.

i never want to see her again in life.

[zizzer]

92. romance with people that have kids

Damn...I hope I never have to deal with that again.

My own kid with my own wife is hard enough!

I'm sorry it didn't work out for you.

It sounds like you did the right thing though.

Zizzer

[ScreamingMeemie]

72. Yes, yes, and yes. The third being almost a daily occurence in my

house. :( (in a good way).

There are many painful memories for me of 8th grade. Another:(
I had just moved from Wisconsin the year before and had done pretty well. Then all of a sudden in 8th grade all the people who were friends decided to gang up and make my life a living hell. Only time I ever contemplated suicide. Teachers were no help and it was getting to be a seriously bad situation. To this day it is painful to think about and it makes me fear for my girl this year.

[corarose]

73. My Panties fell off at Grade School one time

I was in 6'th grade and I made a mistake and wore a pair of my moms underwear to class and they fell off. I just kicked them over the curb and kept walking as I died of embarrassment.

[SoCalDem]

76. might as well ask.."Have you ever breathed air ?"

[Ivory_Tower]

78. Okay

I've been rejected/dumped so many times that I'm no longer scared of rejection, just bored from it.

I did have a date with a woman who later wrote a book about her horrible dating experiences. Yeah, that's a real confidence-booster. And no, I didn't buy the book. Too chicken.

[Booberdawg]

83. LOL! Ain't life a bitch?

:hi:

[baldguy]

79. Every time.

[Desertrose]

80. message deleted

nt

[Astarho]

82. not laughed at (not to my face anyway)

Oddly enough this just happened recently.

About April, I met a girl, and after a month I finally got the courage up to ask her out. We both like hiking so we started hiking together. Eventhough all our mutual friends said we made a good couple or words to that effect, but she was apprehensive about a relationship. Then in mid-june she suddenly stopped calling, returning calls etc. She went out of town for a month and now that she's back, I find out she's been seriously dating another guy since about, you guessed it, mid-june. And last week, I found this out through a mutual friend who felt sorry enough for me and told me so I don't suddenly run into them.

And this is very similar to another situation that happened three years ago. Same procedure: I meet a girl, ask her out, she is nervous, so I take it slow and then she starts a serious relationship with someone she just met.

When they say "I'm not ready for a relationship!" it means, "I'm not ready for a relationship with you!"

Some Advice: When people tell you to get out or try something new, that's bullsh*t! It all comes down to being in the right goddamn place at the right goddamn time!

[Zomby Woof]

94. She has earned my eternal wrath!

I hope that helps! No one wants my eternal wrath.

Doesn't it suck finding out just how true some of those old blues songs can be?

More wisdom:

"It's not you, it's me." - No, it's you.

"Let's just be friends." - Don't even think of calling me or making plans.

"I don't want to ruin our friendship." - I find you as attractive as a dead elk carcass on I-17.

"I don't care about looks, just brains!" - Except your looks, of course.


There is truth to being in the right place at the right time, but there is also some truth to going out there and making contacts. You increase your chances when you increase your visibility.

This unsolicited advice broought to you by the Greater Flagstaff ZombyWoof Swimming Club and CD Exchange!

[Astarho]

97. Thanks

And more wisdom:

"I like hanging out with you." - until I find someone better.

"I like talking to you." - I like that you let me bitch to you about the inferiors I picked instead of you.

"You're so nice/good/etc." - You're a doormat.

"The world doesn't revolve around you!" - It revolves around ME!


but there is also some truth to going out there and making contacts. You increase your chances when you increase your visibility.

That's not been my experience. Of course I don't have one of the "gimmicks" either.

[Chilly_Willy]

87. Dumped for a model, deja vous

Since I started dating in HighSchool I can't count how many guys actually cheated on me or/and ended up dating a model (not supermodel, but models for dept store/magazine, club lingerie models, etc) when they broke up with me. It's very bad for the self-esteem and when normally girls think "hey, that woman is pretty than me he could breakup with me to date her" it's all in their head, jealousy..... But it happend to me before so it's hard not to think. Cheating and those kinds of hurtful dumping situations, don't really ever go away, you just have to learn from them. Everyone is an individual though so you shouldn't drag those fears into a new relationship.

[carolinayellowdog]

99. Yr the best fk I ever had but I never...

want to see you again. Having heard it at least three times (if not that explicitly, at least that was the bottom line) I'm still tormented by the mixed message. Anyone else ever get such a confusing rejection? Is this just a gay thing? Is this thread history already?