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Is there anything wrong with a gay who is in the closet?

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ringmastery Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 10:52 PM
Original message
Is there anything wrong with a gay who is in the closet?
People are bashing Shepard Smith in another thread for possibly being in the closet. What's wrong with being in the closet?

Ultimately, if that's how someone wants to live their life, who is anyone to judge?

There are lots of people, both straight and not, who rather have their private sex life, stay private.
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MAlibdem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 10:55 PM
Response to Original message
1. Silence=death?
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rooboy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 10:55 PM
Response to Original message
2. Nothing wrong with it UNLESS...
they are helping with the anti-gay movement. In my opinion, it is always ok to "out" a hypocrite when civil rights are an issue.
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OneBlueSky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-26-04 01:17 AM
Response to Reply #2
14. I agree . . .
everyone's situation and psychological makeup is different, and you can't fault someone for remaining in the closet because you are unable to walk in their shoes . . . the one exception, imo, would involve a public figure (such as a commentator or a politician) who actively speaks out against gays or supports anti-gay initiatives . . . outing these people is not only right, it's mandatory . . . as for everyone else, just live and let live . . .
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Mojambo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 10:55 PM
Response to Original message
3. I agree
In? Out?
Doesn't matter. It's an individual choice and should be respected.

And yes, I know there is hypocrasy from some of these closeted conservatives but I frankly don't care.

It's not ANYONE's business. It's a privacy thing.
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galadrium Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 10:57 PM
Response to Reply #3
8. Couldn't have said it better... right on!
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DenverDem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 10:56 PM
Response to Original message
4. Only significant if the guy makes big bucks on a homophobic network.
Edited on Tue May-25-04 10:57 PM by DenverDem
Like Faux.

Hypocrisy is a specialty of the wrong wing. That and prevarication.

With shep it was pretty obvious, anyway, so it's no big surprise.
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TrogL Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 10:56 PM
Response to Original message
5. the nightmares
the fear
the paranoia
the internalized shame and homophobia
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Dookus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 10:57 PM
Response to Original message
6. out 'em all
if every gay person came out tomorrow, we could end centuries of hatred and bigotry.
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PinkTiger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 10:57 PM
Response to Original message
7. I agree.
But when someone is famous, people get curious and want to know. I think a famous person probably should not try to live in the closet because of the danger of being outed. I am not gay, but if i were, I would be openly gay. I had a cousin (who was like a brother to me) who was gay and was open about it with his parents and everyone else. I admired him for his courage, because we live in a very backward place in the mid-South.
He died of AIDS in 1993. He is missed very much by our family.
This weekend I will be visiting his grave and putting a red rose on it, as I always do.
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sundog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 11:01 PM
Response to Original message
9. everyone's entitled, but...
Edited on Tue May-25-04 11:01 PM by sundog
when you're spewing right wing ideology, you reap what you sew... fuck him... out him... those types are intentionally disempowering others- whether in or out, gay or straight...
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Sapphocrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 11:01 PM
Response to Original message
10. It's not a matter of one's 'sex life'...
I'm extremely private about my "sex life" -- ask me what I do between the sheets, and I'll tell you it's none of your damned business. As for the fact that I'm a lesbian (who I am, not what I do), I've been out and proud all of my adult life.

See, that's the thing -- it's not all about sex. I don't divide straight people by those who are into BDSM, missionary-style-only, etc., etc. Your sexual proclivities have no bearing on your being straight. You can be straight without ever have sex with anybody. See the difference?

Is there anything wrong with a gay person who's in the closet? IMO, two things: 1) s/he isn't secure enough in him/herself to be honest about it (read up on "internalized homophobia"), and 2) s/he makes it a hell of a lot harder for those of us who fighting for LGBT rights.

I'm not about to out anybody unless he or she is actively working against LGBT rights (and then I'll expose him/her as a hypocrite). But I certainly do resent LGBT people who have no other reason for staying in the closet (or exerting "heterosexual privilege") than fear of rejection by straight society.

P.S. I only speak for myself, but "a gay" grates on my ear. Please say "a gay person" or "a lesbian."
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Lisa0825 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 11:12 PM
Response to Reply #10
11. excellent points!!!
Edited on Tue May-25-04 11:14 PM by Lisa0825
I have no problem with anyone being in the closet, as long as they aren't doing something that goes against the pursuit of equal rights. Due to someone breaking a confidence, I happen to know about someone in upper management in a company related to th eone I work for who is gay. But this has nothing to do with his job, and he has never expressed any conservative viewpoints, so I won't judge him on his decision. He may very well be the reason why we have so many gay and lesbian employees. Maybe he's helping out behind the scenes, as opposed to outwardly.


But I have to admit, I relish when I hear about high profile conservatives being gay! I think they are traitors to the fight for human rights, and I don't really have much sympathy for them.
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ForrestGump Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 11:53 PM
Response to Original message
12. Barry Manilow's allegedly gay (I say 'allegedly' in that
he hasn't acknowledged it, though I have to admit that relevant vibes do emanate from him at a fairly blinding pace) and I find myself very peeved by people who say that he 'owes' it to this group or that group to come out about it. Assuming that he actually is gay, I don't see that he owes anyone a public statement to that effect.

The argument I've seen pretty much puts him down for pandering to the females that make up most of his audience, doing the whole kissing and other ladies'-man thing ringside, and wherever, all the while pocketing their money under false pretenses. In other words, his making his audience happy is a vicious deception because he's doing so under false pretenses, those pretenses basically being that he's a straight studmuffin and that if a lovely lady plays her cards just right she might get to do the Bandstand Boogie with him back in his suite.

Bogus, say I. Yeah, different story if he's pulling a Jerry Falwell on us, but let the dude maintain some semblance of a private life...anyway, if the performer's a good one the whole strength of a concert is that it creates a happy illusion.
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Rowdyboy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 11:56 PM
Response to Original message
13. Being in "the closet" means so many things
Edited on Tue May-25-04 11:56 PM by Rowdyboy
Some of us, like me, have known VERY little actual discrimination and hatred. Others, have had their lives ruined because of their sexuality. How and where do you draw the line?
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Mojambo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-26-04 01:46 AM
Response to Reply #13
15. That's just it.
Everyone needs to be allowed to draw their own line.
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SheWhoMustBeObeyed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-26-04 02:39 AM
Response to Original message
16. I keep mine in the pantry
but that's just me.
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