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If told to "Act" like a Freeper -- What's the first thing you do?

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m-jean03 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 06:10 PM
Original message
If told to "Act" like a Freeper -- What's the first thing you do?
This is Charades! :D

How odd...all of a sudden, I feel like emptying a sewage tank on my neighbor's lawn!! :shrug:
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robertpaulsen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 06:13 PM
Response to Original message
1. Seig heil!
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Endangered Specie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-26-04 12:57 PM
Response to Reply #1
74. Sing:
Edited on Wed May-26-04 12:58 PM by Endangered Specie
Die Fahne hoch die Reihen fest geschlossen
S. A. marschiert mit ruhig festem Schritt
Kam'raden die Rotfront und Reaktion erschossen
Marschier'n im Geist in unsern Reihen mit

Die Strasse frei den braunen Batallionen
Die Strasse frei dem Sturmabteilungsmann
Es schau'n auf's Hackenkreuz voll Hoffung schon Millionen
Der Tag fur Freiheit und fur Brot bricht an

Zum letzen Mal wird nun Appell geblasen
Zum Kampfe steh'n wir alle schon bereit
Bald flattern Hitler-fahnen Uber allen Strassen
Die Knechtschaft dauert nur mehr kurze Zeit

Die Fahne hoch die Reihen fest geschlossen
S. A. marschiert mit ruhig festem Schritt
Kam'raden die Rotfront und Reaktion erschossen
Marschier'n im Geist in unsern Reihen mit


Translation:
Flag high, ranks closed,
The S.A. marches with silent solid steps.
Comrades shot by the red front and reaction
march in spirit with us in our ranks.

The street free for the brown battalions,
The street free for the Storm Troopers.
Millions, full of hope, look up at the swastika;
The day breaks for freedom and for bread.

For the last time the call will now be blown;
For the struggle now we all stand ready.
Soon will fly Hitler-flags over every street;
Slavery will last only a short time longer.

Flag high, ranks closed,
The S.A. marches with silent solid steps.
Comrades shot by the red front and reaction
march in spirit with us in our ranks.


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nothingshocksmeanymore Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 06:13 PM
Response to Original message
2. Scratch my asshole then sniff my hand
to see what my brain smells like.
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snippy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 06:40 PM
Response to Reply #2
32. This reminds me of a story about OxyRush when he lived in Kansas City.
When he was introduced to someone at a restaurant or bar, OxyRush would ask for a $10 or $20 bill so he could demonstrate a trick for them. He then would stick the bill down the back of his pants and wipe his ass with it and then hold the feces smeared bill out and ask the person if they wanted it back.
http://www.bartcop.com/bs621.htm
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nothingshocksmeanymore Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 06:57 PM
Response to Reply #32
43. I'd take it back and put it in his drink
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snippy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 07:00 PM
Response to Reply #43
45. Why? He would just keep the bill and drink his drink. n/t
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SnohoDem Donating Member (915 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 06:56 PM
Response to Reply #2
42. Damn crackheads!
:crazy:
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Demobrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 06:13 PM
Response to Original message
3. First I would work on my facial expression.
Sucking a lemon should do it.
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SoDesuKa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 06:13 PM
Response to Original message
4. Blame Clinton
If you're dumping sewage on your neighbor's lawn, somehow Clinton is responsible. There's a far-fetched, tedious argument that connects Monica with your vandalism. Tune in Rush Limbaugh for an explanation.
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stepnw1f Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 06:13 PM
Response to Original message
5. Get a Really bad hair-do
Slick it to one side like Leave IT TO BEAVER!
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mia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 07:29 PM
Response to Reply #5
50. load up on hairspray, and
click on Schlafly,

for talking points.

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Fridays Child Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 06:15 PM
Response to Original message
6. I'd move into an echo chamber.
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JustFiveMoreMinutes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 06:17 PM
Response to Original message
7. Go To Tahoe, lose money, get drunk, get a girl or two...
... and then when you're sitting around chatting with your traveling companions, be sure to bring up how you feel the Republican Party is the moral backbone of America.

<true story, really happened>
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 06:17 PM
Response to Original message
8. hunch over with my hands in my armpits in typical ape behavior
that's how I often picture freepers, as symbolic of their mentality.
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Canuckistanian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 06:17 PM
Response to Original message
9. Easy. Turn on Fox News, become a zombie for 4 hours.
Blank look on face, mouth open. Occasional scratching.
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ScreamingMeemie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 06:18 PM
Response to Original message
10. Whatever my government tells me to....
;)
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tjwash Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 06:18 PM
Response to Original message
11. I wuld tel evriwon too...
Edited on Tue May-25-04 06:20 PM by tjwash
...too luv or leev mie amurika

opps-i had too ficks mi speling eror
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Rowdyboy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 06:19 PM
Response to Original message
12. Put on polyester pants and pull them up above my navel...
Edited on Tue May-25-04 06:21 PM by Rowdyboy
Play golf, buy an huge-ass SUV and put a Trent Lott and GWB bumper sticker on the vehicle
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m-jean03 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 06:25 PM
Response to Reply #12
16. LOL! You guys are all cracking me up!!
:7
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MrScorpio Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 06:20 PM
Response to Original message
13. Here's my inventory
Edited on Tue May-25-04 06:22 PM by MrScorpio
1. Hat with stars and bars on it
2. A mullet and a droopy mustache
3. White tee shirt with a pack of GPCs in the sleeve
4. A pack of crystal meth and a pipe
5. A Wallet with a chain attached to it
6. A pair of shit kickers
7. A pair of beat up jeans
9. A Ford pick up truck witha a "God, Guns and Guts. That's what made America great" bumper sticker
10 a Bruise on my knuckles from bitch slappin' my woman because she sass-talked me
11. A warrant for my arrest

Activity for the day: Outdrive the local sheriiff (With a COPS camera crew) as fast as I can before the truck crashes and I'm arrested on national TV.

And Blame KLINTOON for everything.

Just a normal day.!!
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Canuckistanian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 06:28 PM
Response to Reply #13
22. You forgot your "Get a brain! Morans" poster!
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MrScorpio Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 06:29 PM
Response to Reply #22
24. It flew out of the truck bed because
I was driving though the backwoods llke a bat outta hell
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Jade Fox Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 07:54 PM
Response to Reply #13
55. LOL! Number 11 is the perfect capper for an excellent list!
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Mike Niendorff Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 06:22 PM
Response to Original message
14. burn a cross

then hand out pamphlets about an "International Communist/Jewish Conspiracy"

finally, relax for an evening of possum shootin' with cousin dad.


MDN

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m-jean03 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 06:27 PM
Response to Reply #14
20. OMG! My stomach hurts from lol, you guys play a great game
of Freeper Charades! :D
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R3dD0g Donating Member (625 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 06:23 PM
Response to Original message
15. Smear Vaseline all over my body
and run howling and naked through the night.
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Blue-Jay Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 06:26 PM
Response to Original message
17. I'd invade your ass!
Then I'd move into your house, break all your shit, tell you that it's "for the best", siphon the gas out of your tank, kick you in the nuts (for your own good, mind you), mispronounce your name, and write myself a big fat check. Don't bother thanking me. A job well done is thanks enough.

Hey! Are you gonna eat that leftover pizza in your fridge?

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m-jean03 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 06:36 PM
Response to Reply #17
30. Well, actually I was saving the pizza for the orphans...
That's probably "aiding and abetting the enemy", huh? :D
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Blue-Jay Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 06:51 PM
Response to Reply #30
39. Screw the orphans!
They're just gonna grow up to be evilDOERS, right? Might as well starve 'em now, so that they're too weak to resist a broomstick up the arse. Don't let those hippies fool ya. When I was in college, I walked around with a broomstick up my ass for three semesters. Gawd, I miss those innocent hijincks! We were so silly that we used to make naked pyramids in front of the bursar's office. She sicced the dogs on us once and we laughed our asses off.

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m-jean03 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 07:12 PM
Response to Reply #39
48. You know what?
You're right, absolutely right. My bad! :P
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Anarcho-Socialist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 06:26 PM
Response to Original message
18. 1st step to Frepperville
I will "employ" the excessive "use" of "quotation marks" in a pretentious "display" to "try" and appear "remotely" logical in my "redundant" arguments.
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belladonna Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 06:26 PM
Response to Original message
19. Buy a dartboard and attach a pic of Hillary to it
Have you seen how much they hate Hillary??? It's scary :scared:
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Mike Niendorff Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 06:27 PM
Response to Original message
21. and the second thing I'd do is :

rent a porta potty, and guard it against leftist agitators.


MDN


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Padraig18 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 06:29 PM
Response to Original message
23. Become a mouth breather or a knuckle dragger.
Tough call. :evilgrin:
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Canuckistanian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 06:31 PM
Response to Reply #23
26. Be a mouth breather! The hours are better.
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Padraig18 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 06:54 PM
Response to Reply #26
41. I heard knuckle draggers got better retiremnt plans, though.
Decisions, decisions...
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NewHampshireDem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 06:30 PM
Response to Original message
25. Complain about how the "demon rats" ...
want to take away all of our rights, hate America, and hate freedom ... then detail my plan to round them up, ship them to some remote location, make them dig their own graves ...

Well, you get the picture.
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snippy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 06:32 PM
Response to Original message
27. Pay homage to the LordGodBush and to the original freeper
John Wilkes Booth.
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FDRrocks Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 06:33 PM
Response to Original message
28. Go to Wal Mart
Buy a 10 pound sack of Cheetos, go back home, crack open my spanking new suitcase of cheetos and put on Faux News.
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m-jean03 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 06:37 PM
Response to Reply #28
31. BWWWAAHAHAHA!
Now you had to go and make me hungry!! :D
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rumguy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-26-04 12:43 AM
Response to Reply #28
60. and get a Toby Keith CD too
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dweller Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 06:35 PM
Response to Original message
29. Drink the Koolaid
double dose to insure the lethality.

x(

dp
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NewHampshireDem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 06:42 PM
Response to Reply #29
33. Actually, isn't that technically the "last thing you'd do"?
:)
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Spinzonner Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 06:42 PM
Response to Original message
34. Prefrontal Lobotomy
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parasim Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 06:43 PM
Response to Original message
35. refuse to do it
then ask the question, why the hell would i want to act like a freeper?!?

:evilgrin:
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mia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 06:44 PM
Response to Original message
36. change my avatar
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EstimatedProphet Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 06:46 PM
Response to Original message
37. I'd do just what all the Freeprs do for fun
Wife and child beating, kitten stomping, and poking retarded kids with sticks to watch them jump.
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MikeG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 06:47 PM
Response to Original message
38. Tern ahn Roosh. Hay hu tuk mah raydeo?
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ikojo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 06:54 PM
Response to Original message
40. Burn the following:
All of my Noam Chomsky books
My Noam Chomsky DVDs
My Michael Moore DVDs and books
all of my anti Bush books (they will be replaced by G-dly books such as those written by Hannity and Coulter)
Harry Potter books and DVDs
Lord of the Rings books and DVDs for this serves Satan and the dark side.

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Blue-Jay Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 06:59 PM
Response to Reply #40
44. You left out one important flammable thing.
The Constitution. That shit's gotta go.

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ikojo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 07:02 PM
Response to Reply #44
46. Oh THAT was what I was going to use to get the
flame a burnin'! Can't have that pesky thing sitting around...people may start to get ideas. Of course I'd cut out the SECOND AMENDMENT because that is the ONLY one that matters, ya know.
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Blue-Jay Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 07:06 PM
Response to Reply #46
47. Question:
Does the Constitution burn better before or after you wipe your ass with it?

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ikojo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 07:15 PM
Response to Reply #47
49. Mr Ashcroft advised me that it is best to wipe
Edited on Tue May-25-04 07:16 PM by ikojo
one's ass IMMEDIATELY prior to igniting the constitution, particularly if it is to be used as a SOURCE of fire. Not only does it create a larger flame but the aroma is none too bad!

Of course we are always advised to remove the second amendment prior to any lighting.
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AmandaRuth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 07:37 PM
Response to Original message
51. scream about taxes while demanding the BEST
schools, roads, transit, police and fire, air, water, parks, senior services, and so on. Run up to some parent and demand to know why I should have to pay for your kids school when I am and shall remain childless. Grab any form of government money such as unemployment, SS, workers comp so fast my hand damn near shatters from stuffing it into my pocket. You know, the usual stuff.


The school thing has happened to me.
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DrWeird Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 07:39 PM
Response to Original message
52. Gee, I don't know.
I haven't got a sister.
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jmowreader Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 07:41 PM
Response to Original message
53. I don't have enough hair for a Mullet
But I guess I could get the other Official Freeper Haircut (a Marine buzz, even though most of them have never been Marines), take up Marlboros and Budweiser, and start listening to Toby Keith, the Official Band of Freep City USA.
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VOX Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 07:46 PM
Response to Original message
54. Start making TRAITORS lists!!!!
Great, big, loooooooooong lists of names -- names I've rooted out from various and manifold sources, names I've dug for feverishly in the dead of night, names of the unholy and the un-American, names of everyone who has ever seen a John Wayne movie and not cried, names of all those vile enemies of the light, names of everyone who never voted for the great almighty godhead Ronald Reagan...

I will flush them out! They can run but they can't hide!!! Traitors!!!! TRAITORS!!!!! TRAITORS!!!!!!!!!!

(Whew, I gotta go lie down now.)
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Mike Niendorff Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 07:59 PM
Response to Original message
56. and the third thing I'd do is:

Sign up at DU, under the handle "HillaryClintonLover", in order to infiltrate the enemy's lair. I would begin my infiltration by just cleverly trying to blend in, using comments like "of course I love Hillary! She's a lesbian communist vegan eco-terrorist, just like me!", and "Of course we must destroy George W. Bush! He is so godly that it threatens our grand design for a One-World Satanic Multicultural Government of the Antichrist!"

Five minutes after posting these typical left-wing comments, i would write a nasty letter to Skinner, demanding to know why I was tombstoned.

Lastly, five minutes after that, I would write him a letter warning him that I know all about the Secret Left-Wing Conspiracy, and how DU is filled with devil-worshipping communists who are plotting to take away my guns and force my children to eat tofu, just like all the blacks, gays and Mexicans do.


MDN

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m-jean03 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-26-04 12:08 PM
Response to Reply #56
64. Have to say, this is hands down one of the most
brilliant things I've read. . .

I'm scared, that you know their minds this well though :scared: :D
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BringEmOn Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 11:52 PM
Response to Original message
57. Start a republican for VP thread
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sundog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-25-04 11:53 PM
Response to Original message
58. don't take a shit for 2 weeks...
--
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richmwill Donating Member (972 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-26-04 12:38 AM
Response to Original message
59. Put my pillowcase over my head
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Only Me Donating Member (631 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-26-04 12:59 AM
Response to Original message
61. Cop an attitude, tell some lies, steal some medicare money, smack
anything that disagreed with me and THEN I would get out of bed and start my day.
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camero Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-26-04 01:01 AM
Response to Original message
62. what else is there to do
Buy me some slaves of course.
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VolcanoJen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-26-04 01:02 AM
Response to Original message
63. Smirk wildly. Then, I'd try to look incredibly smug and stupid...
... at the same time.

What an awesome Charades category!!
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m-jean03 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-26-04 12:09 PM
Response to Reply #63
65. Thanks!
I think you did a pretty darn good job at it!! :D
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henslee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-26-04 12:40 PM
Response to Original message
66. drape a naked statue with expensive fabric?
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henslee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-26-04 12:44 PM
Response to Original message
67. deleated duplicate.
Edited on Wed May-26-04 12:52 PM by henslee
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Ganja Ninja Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-26-04 12:49 PM
Response to Original message
68. Find a cripple and kick the crutches out from under him.
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Feanorcurufinwe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-26-04 12:50 PM
Response to Original message
69. My mind just went blank.
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BurtWorm Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-26-04 12:52 PM
Response to Original message
70. Think of Bill Clinton's penis
and get a secret woody.
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henslee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-26-04 12:53 PM
Response to Reply #70
71. secret woody? heee-hee.
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Endangered Specie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-26-04 12:53 PM
Response to Original message
72. Invest in a XXXL White Robe, and set some crosses on fire.
Edited on Wed May-26-04 12:54 PM by Endangered Specie
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Endangered Specie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-26-04 12:55 PM
Response to Original message
73. Flunk out of college, flip burgers and shovel mule shit for a living.
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denverbill Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-26-04 01:09 PM
Response to Original message
75. Bitch about high taxes,
then demand a voucher so my kid can attend private school.
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