A Lifetime® Original Movie

[sus]

It's your chance to program Television For Victims®.

Give us your best titles!

[sus]

1. Keep Your Laws Off My Cat!

Starring Owen Wilson and Judith Light. Ricki Lake appears as herself.

[GOPisEvil]

2. MY BABY!!!!! THE DINGO ATE MY BABY!!!!

Too dramatic?

[sus]

40. Dingos Ate My Danger

[St. Jarvitude]

67. Dingos Ate My Donger!

[Beaverhausen]

68. The Baby Ate My Dingo!!!

[NuckinFutz]

3. Thank god I'm not the only female who hates that channel!! n/t

[sus]

4. He Wet His Pants At Work

Written and Directed by underpants formerly of DU fame

[Dogmudgeon]

5. Love Me Too, Daddy: The Jenna Bush Story

Emily Procter as Laura Bush
Horatio Sanz as Antonin "Uncle Tony" Scalia
Lindsay Lohan as Barb Bush
With Fred Ward on Quaaludes as George W. Bush

Featuring Hilary Duff as Jenna Bush

Special Effects by Industrial Light and Magic

--bkl

[felonious thunk]

6. A House of Cards Divided Among Itself

With Jane Seymour and Alan Thicke

[sus]

7. Mother May I Sleep with Matcom

The Sequel to

"Mother May I Knock Boots With Danger"

[LynneSin]

8. Mother, may I start a war against terror?

[NuckinFutz]

9. I Love You GrandMommy

Plot: Woman is surrogate mother for her son and daughter-in-law. Sona and his wife divorce, and a three-way custody battle ensues.

[sus]

10. Mother, May I Have Dinner at Danger's House?

And the sequel,

Mother, Can Danger Spend The Night?

[sus]

11. "I Don't Give a Fuck What You Do With Danger!": A Mother's Story.

[LynneSin]

12. Her secret life as a woman: The Andrew Coulter Story

[oldcoot]

100. "I was a Stepford Blond Republican"

This shocking movie horrifies viewers by showing the dangers of cloning humans, especially blond Republican pundits. Viewers will finally know why blond Republican pundits all look and sound the same.

[sus]

13. Mother, Daddy's on Fire!

Starring Farah Fawcett, Michael Ontkean and the Olsen Twins

[JVS]

14. Shattered Glass and Shattered Dreams: The Fatty Arbuckle Story

[Zuni]

28. Bwahahahahah

Now that is f-in funny. Good one.

[JVS]

30. Someday I hope to make this film a reality

[Dogmudgeon]

35. There was a bio-pic a few years ago about him -- "Arbuckle"

Innocent of the crime, BTW.

http://silent-movies.com/Arbucklemania//home.html

His real first name was "Roscoe".

--bkl

[Zuni]

41. His friends never called him Fatty

at least according to this website

[Zuni]

38. I would love to see that

sounds like it would be a real tear jerker

[flamingyouth]

88. Hey, he was innocent!!!

Railroaded by the media and the Ashcrofts of his day. Extremely sad story, really. Poor Roscoe.

[JVS]

92. And that's what the film can be about.

How an unfortunate accident ruined his life

[Dogmudgeon]

15. To Kill A Bat: The Evita Story

--bkl

[sus]

17. HAHAHAHA!

...that's not funny..

[underpants]

16. Give my back my Baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They ALL can be subtitled that.

[felonious thunk]

Mother, Should I build the wall?

And its sequel

You'll always be baby to me

[southpaw]

22. Hey, I'd WATCH that one...

[sus]

18. Mother, May I Move to Vermont and Have a Domestic Partnership With Danger?

[sus]

19. Not Without My Daughter: The Aaron Spelling Story

Aaron Spelling (played by Dominick Dunne) refuses to produce or fund various television projects until his daughter has a starring role in each of them. Starring Tori Spelling.

[Lavender Brown]

20. Aaron, Your Daughter Can't Act: A Moment of Truth Movie

Well, she can't!

[sundog]

lol

good one

[JVS]

21. Find me my Baby's Father. featuring Maury Povich

[sus]

Not Without My Bitchez

The best and brightest of the Hip-Hop Nation star in this drama about a struggling Brooklyn rap artist who hits the big time, only to have music executives tell him they won't pay for his female entourage's travel expenses. Starring Lil' Kim, Lil' Bow Wow, and Big P as "Big T."

[BigMcLargehuge]

23. Daddy Beats Me Because I'm Bulimic: Part 2

[sus]

24. the sequel to "Mommy Drinks Because I Cry.."

[BigMcLargehuge]

26. and the prequel to

"Daddy Likes to Take My Pictures when I Shower"

[Dogmudgeon]

25. Lynndie Bright And Dark

Starring Ashley and Mary-Kate Olsen as Lynndie England
Vincent D'Onofrio as Charles Graner
Kate Mulgrew as General Janice Karpinski
Anna Nicole Smith as Mrs. Terrie England
Vern Troyer as Mr. Kenneth England
RuPaul as Jessica "Sis" England

--bkl

[sus]

27. Uncle Charlie's Pockets

A young man experiences terror when he is asked to identify items in Uncle Charlie's pockets.

[southpaw]

29. Inspired By Actual Events

Starring Melissa Gilbert and Robert Urich.

...based on a true story

[sus]

31. A Very Brady Ramadan

The Bradys (minus Dad) get back together to celebrate the sacred holiday with their new Sherman Oaks neighbors, the Khostovans.

[Dogmudgeon]

32. "You want me to WHAT?" S&M -- A Matcom's Dilemma

Casting call is still open.

--bkl

[ronnykmarshall]

33. Get Up There and Sparkle or Else: The story of a killer stage mother.

aka Patsy Ramsey

[sus]

34. OJ GYN

OJ Simpson as a small town doctor trying to understand women better.

[Dogmudgeon]

36. That one's a romantic comedy, right?

--bkl

[sus]

37. With Six You Get Your Tubes Tied

Loosely inspired by the 1968 feature film of a broadly similar name, a modern family discovers that six kids is really five too many. With Shelley Long in the Doris Day role, and a subdued Nathan Lane in the role originally played by Brian Keith.

[GOPisEvil]

39. Valerie Bertinelli stars in...

...well, just about everything, really.

[sus]

43. she can play Laura Bush in "My President Is Retarded"

Ripped from the headlines, and starring Bruce Boxlietner as The President of The United States. Ned Beatty as Dick Cheney. Elliott Gould as Rummy.

[GOPisEvil]

45. Robin Givens as Condoleeza Rice

I can see it now.

[Dogmudgeon]

42. Cicada Invasion! A Mother's Triumph

But seriously, I keed...

--bkl

[sus]

44. I'm NOT Gay: The Secret Pain Of Tom Cruise

starring Kevin Spacey

[sundog]

46. you're making me laugh...

you're on a roll today... good coffee or what?

[sus]

47. I've been thinking about this for a while. I freaking HATE Lifetime.

When Danger Kept Calling, I Star 69'ed It

When A Stranger Calls To Say, "Danger!"

[GOPisEvil]

51. Mimi Rogers as herself!

[sus]

48. Not Without My Teleprompter!

The tragic story of George W. Bush's sad attempts at coherency.

[ronnykmarshall]

49. Danger In My Pants

[ronnykmarshall]

50. Secret Love / Secret War : The Condi Rice Story

[sus]

52. Three Men and a Nasty Case of the Crabs

Starring Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, and John Ashcroft as themselves. Karl Rove plays the bitchy judgemental Clinic nurse.

[dryan]

53. 36 Days to Victory: The Laura Bush Story

Looked at Love from Both Sides Now: The Anne Heche Story

[dryan]

54. 36 Days to Victory: The Laura Bush Story

Looked at Love from Both Sides Now: The Anne Heche Story

[LynneSin]

56. SUS - you're the sign of the devil: 666 posts

We need to pray for you

[Beaverhausen]

55. My Arm, Lost...to the Bear Cage

eom

[sus]

57. Pointed Stick: The Blinding of LynneSin

[LynneSin]

58. The Regrets of LynneSin: Bringing sus to DU

[sus]

59. The Woman Who Didn't Really Have Any Specific Problems And

Didn't Really Have Anything Exciting Happen To Her. Ever.

[LynneSin]

60. Wow, a movie about you!!! Who plays you? Phylis Diller?

GOTCHA!!!

[sus]

61. My Cat, My Stranger

LynneSin wakes up one morning to discover she has not been properly introduced to her killer cat Evita (played by Jaclyn Smith) LynneSin played by Norman Fell. Abbott played by Ann Landers.

[sus]

62. Norman Fell is Dead

Starring Norman Fell.

[sus]

63. When Danger Pushed Norman, He Fell....

[LynneSin]

65. My life as a crazy old cat lady: The sus story

Sus, as played by veteran actress of stage, televison and screen Bea Arthur, spent her entire life doing nothing really that special. She basically sat at home each night playing with her cats and knitting all the time. There were 2 people who tried to befriend sus, LynneSin (as played by Pamela Anderson) and GOPisEvil (as played by David Hasselholf), but sus couldn't be bothered because she had another scarf to knit and more pictures to take of her cat.

[7th_Sephiroth]

64. the one lifetime movie they wana make, but know it'd be over if they did

Man killer: a woman goes around killing men, cries rape, gets aquitted and keeps killing

[dryan]

66. Against All Flags: The George & Laura Bush Story

[ronnykmarshall]

69. Laura Welch : She Devil Behind the Wheel

[sus]

70. My Kid Went Apeshit: Terror in America's Mall

[GOPisEvil]

71. Even AAA can't help me:

The story of one car breaking down in a parking garage.

[LynneSin]

72. Friendship at First Site: The sus, LynneSin & GOPisEvil story

Starring:

Susan Lucci as Sus
Cybill Shepard as LynneSin
David Hasselholf as GOPisEvil

with special guest appearance of Emeril Lagrasse as Matcom

[GOPisEvil]

73. Why am I always David Hasselhof?

I thought Zomby was Knight Rider. Of course that makes me Gary Coleman...hmmm

[LynneSin]

74. Do you really want Gary Coleman to play you

[sus]

76. hmmm.. "play you." is that what the kids are calling it these days?

[GOPisEvil]

77. No, I was looking for an excuse to post that picture.

[sus]

75. Friendship at Steak: The sus, LynneSin & GOPisEvil story

Three friends struggle with their carnivorous ways. Some scenes may not be suitable for children or vegans.

[GOPisEvil]

79. Friendship at Steak: Medium Rare (Part 2 of the Trilogy)

Does steak really need more than salt and pepper?

[GOPisEvil]

80. Friendship at Steak: Well Done (Last of the Trilogy)

Our heroes discover the baked potato.

[sus]

78. That One Movie

That chick, who used to be in that show, stars as a woman who has that one thing and has to figure out what to do. Co-starring that guy, not that one guy but the other guy who did that other show. Runs every night.

[GOPisEvil]

81. OH yeah, directed by the woman, who did that one movie.

The one with the thing, and the other thing and what's-his-name.

[sus]

82. Not Without My Crack Whore!!

[GOPisEvil]

83. Ahhh...the Hugh Grant story

[LynneSin]

84. You 2 want your own private forum???

I mean - all this public canoodling cannot be healthy for the morale here in the lounge.

NO SEX THREADS!!!

[GOPisEvil]

85. It's all part of our ingenious plan to take over DU

Damn! I always say too much!

[LynneSin]

86. The GOPisEvil & Sus story: How they met and pushed LynneSin....

....out of the picture

Starring:

Bea Arthur as Sus
Ernest Borgnine as GOPisEvil
Heather Locklear as LynneSin

With special guest Nathan Lane as Zombywoof

[GOPisEvil]

87. Awww...we'd never do that

Who's playing matcom?

[LynneSin]

89. George Clooney

And Matcom falls madly and lustily in love with me!!!

[GOPisEvil]

91. How does he rate Clooney?

I figured you'd cast Martha Stewart.

[sus]

90. Not If There's No Money In It: The Anne Heche Story

A young lesbian knocks it off when she discovers it's not the career-maker she thought it would be.

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

102. Best of the list

[sus]

93. I Missed All The Obvious Signs And Married Him Anyway

[sus]

94. Sister Yeti, Himalayan Nun

Starring Wanda Jackson, Burt Reynolds and the Quiznos monkeyrats

[sus]

95. A Salute To Even More Heroes XVIII- A Lifetime® Very Special Event

Join the cast of the East Upper Westchester County Dinner Theatre as they salute the heroic men and woman of the West Nyack Animal Control Department.

[sus]

96. Mother, May I Keep On Posting?

A woman with obsessive compulsive disorder fights to release herself from the evil grip of "The 700 Club."

[GOPisEvil]

97. I think you should stay a while. Maybe you'll enjoy your time here.

[sus]

98. stop that! you're creeping me out.

<shudder>

[BringEmOn]

99. "Texas Rains Caused My Bike Crash" starring George W Bush

[sus]

101. All Men Are Pigs

A 37-part miniseries starring Rosie O'Donnell, Oprah Winfrey and Dr. Phil's wife. featuring guest appearances by 147 '80s tv show chicks you can almost but not quite name.

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

103. My Husband, My President: The Secret Life of Condi Rice

[LynneSin]

104. The Thread Will Not Die: The Sus Story

With sus played by Betty White
GOPisEvil played by Ed Asner
LynneSin played by Christina Applegate

And special guest NothingShocksMeAnymore played by Carmen Electra and the hood of her car played by K.I.T.T.

Image

[sus]

105. When Danger Called, it was the 700 Club: The Sus Story

I gotta get outta this place!