So after I got back from the war I only had four kids left....

[Robb]

I mean, I brought back Tammy and her kids, and Aaron. I had to kill one of the kids, which Tammy didn't like so much. Turned out she and Aaron had a thing, and when she got her promotion she set up two of my boys to take the fall for a thing with the boss's brother.

Then after they went down, Tammy got her sons to take liberties with my daughter -- cut off her hands and tongue afterwards. Even my remaining son Lucky got the boot, hooked up with some bad folk.

So I fooled Tammy, grabbed her sons, and made a pie out of them. Made Tammy eat the pie, then offed her and got my own daughter in the crossfire. In the end, Lucky was the only one left standing -- he buried Aaron alive, and chucked Tammy's body in with the dogs. Lucky took over everything after that.

I maintain had the author of this stuff been alive today, he'd be writing for Fox.

[GOPisEvil]

1. What the hell?

[matcom]

2. Robb has been hitting the pipe again

or the needle

[Robb]

3. Nah

...Just been re-reading some classics from my big box-o-books in the basement. Ten points (or an honorary English degree) if you know this one.

[gbwarming]

8. An honororary Doctor of Googology might be appropriate..

for respondents who didn't even read the cliff notes (like me)

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&ie=UTF-8&q=aaron+dau...


(Titus Limericks as a google bonus)
http://www.bardcentral.com/tituslims.html


Fifth Runner Up: Douglas Lanier

Titus Andronicus in five lines:

Doughty Titus comes home from the war,
Kills Alarbus to even the score,
Rape and murder ensue,
Plus a maiming or two,
And the banquet's got corpses galore.

[pagerbear]

4. Sounds Beaumarchais-ish

Bits of it anyway.

Could it be Shakespearian?

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

5. Sounds a little like Titus Andronicus

on edit: Sounds exactly like Titus Andronicus

[Robb]

6. Ding ding ding!! Monty, tell 'im what he's won!

My only regret is never having seen anyone try to put this one on. It's gotta be a riot.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

7. Well, it's funny that you mention he'd be writing for Fox

Because they produced a VERY good version of this a few years back titled simply "Titus". The style's a bit weird, but it's honestly one of the better film renditions of Shakespeare I've seen. You should check it out - Anthony Hopkins stars as Titus and Jessica Lange is Tamara

[Robb]

9. No kidding!

Ain't that a corker. I'll see if I can lay hands on it.