REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE CONVENTION SCHEDULE

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REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE (BRING THE FAMILY....Leave the spouse and children at the hotel {safe and sound and well guarded!} Minorities are asked to register prior to showing up on the convention floor so we can have maximum coverage of your attendance!)





CONVENTION SCHEDULE

New York, NY (Sin Capitol of the world!)

6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry
Falwell

6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance

6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd
amendment)

6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing

6:46 PM Seminar #1: Iraq
Strategies-Voodoo/DooDoo WMD

7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong

7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries

7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury-It's what's for
dinner!

8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next

8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh

8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos
are after your Children!!

8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive
rights (MEN only! NO DARKIES PLEASE!)

8:50 PM Seminar #2 Corporations: The Government
of the Future

9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' Dat
Man O'mine" (with C. Powell as back up leadsinger)

9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong

9:10 PM EPA Address #2 -- Trees: The Real Cause
of Forest Fires

9:30 PM Break for secret meetings

10:00 PM Second prayer led by Cal Thomas

10:15 PM Lecture by Carl Rove: Doublespeak made
easy

10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration of how to squint
and talk macho

10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark
"deer in headlights" stare

10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory
Kevlar chastity belt

10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black
republicans

10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong

10:50 PM Seminar #3 Education: A Drain on our
Nation's Economy

11:10 PM Hilary Clinton Piñata (Carl Rove to start this game)

11:20 PM Second Lecture by John Ashcroft:
Evolutionists: The Dangerous New Cult

11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again.

11:35 PM Blame either Clinton for everything that is wrong with the United States of America!

11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies (bring in the children for this demonstration ONLY!)

11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself as interpreted by Carl Rove!

12: 00 PM Nomination of George W. Bush as
Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord

[AspenRose]

1. Ha ha

"Minorities are asked to register prior to showing up on the convention floor so we can have maximum coverage of your attendance!"

Not to mention so we can keep an eye on you and make sure you aren't stealing anything!

/sarcasm OFF