Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login
Google

National Security: "The Animal & Insect Act" (poem)

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
This topic is archived.
Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU
 
villager Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-15-04 09:45 AM
Original message
National Security: "The Animal & Insect Act" (poem)
The Animal & Insect Act

Finally, in order to ensure
absolute national security
they passed the Animal & Insect
Emergency Control & Discipline
Act.

Under this new Act, buffaloes
cows and goats were prohibited
from grazing in herds of
more than three. Neither could
birds flock, nor bees swarm .....
This constituted unlawful
assembly.

As they had not obtained prior
planning permission, mud-wasps
and swallows were issued with
summary Notices to Quit. Their
homes were declared subversive
extensions to private property.

Monkeys and mynahs
were warned to stop
relaying their noisy
morning orisons until an official
Broadcasting Licence was issued
by the appropriate Ministry.
Unmonitored publications &
broadcasts posed the gravest
threats in times of a National
Emergency.

Similarly, woodpeckers had
to stop tapping their morse-
code messages from coconut
tree-top to chempaka tree.
All messages were subject
to a thorough pre-scrutiny
by the relevant authorities.

Java sparrows were arrested in
droves for rumour-mongering.
Cats (suspected of conspiracy)
had to be indoors by 9 o'clock
Cicadas and crickets received
notification to turn their amp-
lifiers down. Ducks could not
quack nor turkeys gobble during
restricted hours. Need I say,
all dogs -- alsatians, dachshunds,
terriers, pointers and even
little chihuahuas -- were muzzled.

In the interests of security
penguins and zebras were
ordered to discard their
non-regulation uniforms.
The deer had to surrender
their dangerous antlers.
Tigers and all carnivores
with retracted claws were
sent directly to prison
for concealing lethal weapons.

And by virtue of Article
Four, paragraph 2(b)
sub-Subsection sixteen,
under no circumstances
were elephants allowed
to break wind between
the hours of six and six.
Their farts could easily
be interpreted as gunshot.
Might spark off a riot .....

A month after the Act
was properly gazetted
the birds and insects
started migrating south
the animals went north
and an eerie silence
handcuffed the forests.

There was now Total Security.

-- Cecil Rajendra, Refugees & Other Despairs, 1980
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
villager Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-15-04 11:20 AM
Response to Original message
1. kicking...
...despite the tough going poems have in the Lounge...
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DU AdBot (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view 
this author's profile Click to add 
this author to your buddy list Click to add 
this author to your Ignore list Wed Jul 30th 2014, 04:16 PM
Response to Original message
Advertisements [?]
 Top

Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators


Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC