For Jesus's second coming, will he come as an adult or as a child?

[The Backlash Cometh]

I had to put this in the Lounge because it's too crazy to post anywhere else. Something just popped into my head and I just had to put it out for others to attack, prod or bolster. It has to do with the Christian Right's overzealous anti-abortion platform.

I just kept mulling it over and over in my head how their policies are contradictory. They're anti-welfare, anti-social programs, anti-public schools, anti-anything that provides benefits or services to the poor. Yet, there they are pro-life, or more to the point, pro-lower-quality of life. And then it came to me...

Is it possible that the Christian Right are trying to keep every fetus alive on the off-chance that it might be Jesus? I hadn't thought about this before, because I thought He would re-appear in an adult form.

Okay, tell me I'm crazy.

[matcom]

1. what i want to know is WHAT WILL I WEAR?

[RandomKoolzip]

2. He can't come back, because he was never here in the first place.

Okay, now that I'm done with the pro-atheist flamebait, let me tell you that that's the oddest theory I've come across concerning the Christian right EVER. And it may hold water.

Who knows? Interesting topic. Made me scratch my head......

[AlienGirl]

3. Neither--as a DRAGON!

Oh, wait. That was the second ccoming of JFK.

Nevermind.

Tucker

[el_gato]

4. what is he wears a bunny suit

would people still follow him?

[Padraig18]

5. I'm betting he'll come back as a bag lady.

Remember that, the next time you see a homeless person pushing a shopping cart...

[stopthegop]

6. according to the Bible, as an adult eom

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

7. You just had to remind me of that horrid Omen III movie, hadn't you?

Plot: Bad guys kill lots of babies. Jesus image glows. Bad guy leader dies. The End.

[Wickerman]

8. Its not for the Christian Right to worry if

Jesus is aborted or not. God will prevail - you think God can create the world and the Heavens and all in them and wouldn't have a contingency plan for an event like the aborting of the fetus Jesus? Just how big is your God? (to paraphrase some 80's schlock pop Jesus book)

[johnnie]

9. I wonder

...what religion would the family be that he is born to? That would cause a bit of chaos...wouldn't it?

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

10. Will he come in through the front or back door ?

[dawg]

11. All joking aside, your theory is not valid ...

Jesus' second coming is to be as an adult, and the idea is that he will then sweep aside all of the corrupt leaders of the Earth and establish His kingdom.

Bush and his cronies should be careful what they ask for!

[GoddessOfGuinness]

12. Jesus is already here

He's the homeless guy down the street and the little Brazilian girl who lives in a slum outside Rio de Janeiro. Jesus is a little boy whose home is a starvation/AIDS ravaged village in Africa, and the fellow who collects your garbage every Wednesday. After you've left your office, Jesus scrubbed the toilets in your building, and she made sure there were plenty of TP and paper towels in there too.

The Christian Wrong suffer from a combination of unnecessary guilt and the fear of facing their own shortcomings; thus they feel the need to meddle in the lives of others.

[Taverner]

13. Bill Hicks said he'll come back as a bunny

"here's a chocolate easter egg...that's about all you're able to handle...spiritually."

[flowomo]

14. And will he have a backup band?

[ronnykmarshall]

15. A militant black feminist lesbian.

Just to tick off the right wingers.

[TrogL]

16. If you take Revelations absolutely literally

he comes back as a sword IIFC.

[arwalden]

17. What A Twisted Theory... Interesting.

But my answer is "neither". There is no "Second Coming". The man is dead, gone, never to return. The rest is just fantasy and wishful magical thinking.

-- Allen