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Shananigans Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 01:28 PM
Original message
Post your favorite Bush jokes here!
I just heard this one today...it's great!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bush, Einstein and Picasso at the Pearly Gates

Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him, "You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to sneak into Heaven. Can
you prove who you really are?"

Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, "Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?"

Saint Peter snaps his fingers and a blackboard and chalk instantly appear. Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his theory of relativity.

Saint Peter is suitably impressed. "You really ARE Einstein!" he says. "Welcome to heaven!"

The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again, Saint Peter asks for credentials.

Picasso asks, "Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk?"

Saint Peter says, "Go ahead."

Picasso erases Einstein's equations and sketches a truly stunning mural with just a few strokes of chalk.

Saint Peter claps. "Surely you are the great artist you claim to be!" he says. "Come on in!"

Then Saint Peter looks up and sees George W. Bush. Saint Peter scratches his head and says, "Einstein and Picasso both managed to prove their identity. How can you prove
yours?"

George W. looks bewildered and says, "Who are Einstein and Picasso?"

Saint Peter sighs and says, "Come on in, George."
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mstrsplinter326 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 01:31 PM
Response to Original message
1. I like the joke, but Bush isn't going to heaven... (n/t)
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Misunderestimator Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 01:31 PM
Response to Original message
2. That is the FOURTH version of that joke I've seen
including my rendition after hearing it from my father.
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lovedems Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 01:34 PM
Response to Original message
3. Clocks in heaven
A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.

He asked, "What are all those clocks?" St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."

"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"

"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."

"Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"

St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."

"Where's President Bush's clock?" asked the man.

"Bush's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

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RobertSeattle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 01:37 PM
Response to Original message
4. Here's my favorite "R" rates one
Dubya arrives in Hell and is told by Satan that he'll have to spend eternity in one of three rooms.

He opens the door to the first room and Dubya sees a room full of souls being tortured in ways that are unspeakable.

They visit the 2nd room and, again, very unpleasant things are going on.

They visit the 3rd room and there is Bill Clinton sitting on a chair, being pleasured by Monica Lewinsky.

Dubya says, "Hey, this isn't so bad.

I think I'll stay here", at which point Satan says, "OK, Monica, your time's up, your replacement is here."
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