Coach Banned for "Crybaby Award"

[JohnLocke]

Coach Banned for "Crybaby Award"
Thursday, May 6, 2004
The Ledger
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In Pleasantville, N.J., a basketball coach who gave a 13-yearold player a "Crybaby Award" will be banned from coaching, sent to sensitivity training and ordered to make a public apology.
Schools superintendent Edwin Coyle revealed the punishments Wednesday. Whether the coach loses his job remains to be seen.
James Guillen, 24, a thirdyear special education teacher at the Pleasantville Middle School, had a trophy made up showing an infant atop a pedestal, with a plaque bearing the inscription of player Terrence Philo Jr. and the words "Crybaby Award."
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Read the rest here.

[arwalden]

1. Good! I Had Heard About This Story Earlier...

... glad to see that Mr. Guillen is being held accountable for this nonsense.

-- Allen

[Mrs. Venation]

2. I Hope He Gets Fired

People this cruel shouldn't make their living by having contact with children.

[northzax]

3. so, does this mean the kid wasn't a crybaby?

or just that someone heard about it? I can think of a lot of parents who deserve crybaby awards as well.

[Bunny]

6. So, are you saying that publicly humiliating a 13 year old boy

is okay? At an awards banquet, in front of peers and family members? After he was specifically called, by the coach, to be sure to attend, as he would be receiving a special award?

I sincerely hope you do not think this okay. If so, there are probably some openings available at that Iraqi prison.

[northzax]

7. so you didn't answer the question

was the kid a cry baby? yes or no? why won't you answer that question?

[redqueen]

8. Who defines what a 'crybaby' is?

It's subjective, isn't it? Even if it were the coach's honest opinion that yes, this boy really was a crybaby, it still gives him NO right to humiliate the kid like that.

Honestly.

[Bunny]

9. Exactly.

I'd love to know what Northzax' point is.

[northzax]

14. my point is that everyone is bound to be a knee jerk critic

without knowing the facts of the case. maybe the kid will be scarred for life and end up shooting up a 7-11 to score moeny for drugs. or maybe he'll turn into Michael Jordan, who was told at that exact same age to 'grow up' and learn how to work before he'd ever make varsity.

but who knows, maybe we should all be even and middle along through our mediocre lives without ever pushing people to strive for more. Athletics is the single most capitalist world you will experience, and if the kid needs a jolt to succeed, better he realize it now, than in five years when it is too late.

life is hard, in case you haven't noticed, maybe, just maybe, we need to stop coddling children quite so damn much.

[kixot]

18. Yeah, f*#k the children.

F#@k'em good.

[northzax]

11. well, at every awards banquet I've ever been to

the coach or the rest of the team develops a definition for "most improved player" or "best defenseman" or whatever.

by the way, any reaction from the kid? or just his parent's lawyers?

[LynneSin]

20. YES - from someone who lives in the area

The kid was so embarassed he refused to go to school the next day because of the humiliation he felt.

From all the news stories here in the Philly Metro area, basically the kid wasn't that talented when it came to sports but he tried really hard. The coach made the award and said that the kid basically sat around and whined all the time about wanting to play.

I think the coach had the right concept about the idea - the kid seemed had the team spirit to play but just no skills. Maybe what the coach COULD have done was given the kid "Best Team Spirit" award or something like that so the poor child wouldn't be humiliated.

The worse thing isn't that this coach is a teacher, but he teaches special ed. Does he pull this kind of crap on his special needs kid

[northzax]

27. well, see that's information that I had not seen

and I wager few others on this board had either (since it's not receiving any publicity in DC, I wager it's only a local story in Philly-area.

I still am unable to make a serious judgement on this issue because I don't know the people involved or the situation at hand. It's strange, really, that people are so willing to make commentary on how awful of a situation this is without having even this small bit of information. Certainly the fact that the student was unwilling to go to schoool the next day is a big piece of information, and is fairly damming to the coach involved, but I am slightly unwilling to trust the local media (I don't know much about the Philly media, but the DC media are whore for this type of story, the person perceived as being wronged becomes a saint and the person doing the wrong becomes the next coming of Atilla the Hun) So, as I said, I will continue to reserve judgement (I neither condemn nor condone this action because I simply don't have the facts involved) but if, as you say, this coach simply misplayed a way of trying to include this unathletically talented kid in the team, should he be banned from all coaching forever? or should someone simply take him aside and tell him he played his hand wrong, and have him publically (and privately) apologize to the kid and his teammaates for embarrasing them?

The coach, from the reports I have seen was what, 24? basically a child himself, who probably got too close to his team. happens all the time.

to the coach I would say: you've learned a valuable lesson at a young age (should have been learned earlier, by the way) apologise, profusely to the kid, his family, and his teammates, for embarrasing them all. Live the rest of your coaching life trying to make up for your stupid mistake.

To the kid, I'd say: you're 13. accept the apology wit grace and humor, and continue to live your life the best way you can. Sign up to play again next year, if the sport makes you happy. If this one incident ruins the game for you, take some time and get back to what you like about it. Feel free to join another team, if the coach isn't your style, but realize that if this is the worst thing to happen to you in your teenage years, you got off lucky.

that's all. I still don't see that this should become a capital case. More people have condemned this coach, without neccesarily knowing the facts involved (you, Lynn, have sent me more information, thanks for that, and with your greater knowledge or the facts in evidence, seem to be a bit more levelheaded) than I have seen on threads concerning pedophiles, rapists, murderers and other criminals.

[Bunny]

10. Does it really matter if he was a crybaby?

Does that justify his treatment? Answer THAT question!

[northzax]

12. sure it matters

if he is a cry baby, then what's wrong with giving him an award for that? I thought we were supposed to celebrate everyone for what they are.

do you know anything else about this case? did the coach get an award for every player? I once got an award for being the slowest person on the team. it was funny, you know why? cause I was slow. someone else got a gold brick for being the worst shooter.

when did we get so fucking sensitive to slights. The kid is 13, not 5.

[Bunny]

13. Further proof that our culture has deteriorated.

Can we really be shocked at the atrocities that occured in Iraq, when gratuitous humiliation of our own children is seen as fine, and anyone concerned about it is merely "so fucking sensitive"?

[northzax]

16. sorry, you are right

there will be no more criticism of children. anytime something bad happens, it is automatically humilitating to the child. do you, bny any chance, have a quote from that child on whether or not he was humiliated? or are you just assuming that, since you would be.

have you considered, perhaps, that this was this particular child's nickname? do you have any idea on that? boys playing sports tend to give each other humilitating nicknames, it's part of the life. Mine was penelope at one time, I still have people who call me that, 15 years later. I have a friend named 'worm' because he needed to be taken down a peg. still goes by it.

maybe, just amybe, this was done in the spirit of teambuilding and comraderie, not as a humitiation. maybe the child wasn't humiliated, but the parents were? can you link me to a single story quoting this child, or any of his teammates, on this supposed "humiliation?" please? any evidence on how good of a player he was? maybe he was an arrogant little prick who needed something to remind him of humility <not humiliation, but humility?>

you really have no idea, do you?

or are you too busy projecting your own teenage insecurities onto him?

[Bunny]

17. Well, thanks for acknowledging that I am right.

Which was proven once again by your very own post.

You stay in your macho world, I'll stay in my too fucking sensitive one. Good day.

[Pithlet]

23. There is nothing wrong with criticism.

This went beyond that.

[Mrs. Venation]

25. I Hope You Don't Hold A Position of Influence With Children

The attitude you show here worries me. The coach was being a smart-ass bully. Every kid on the team got a substantive award except this kid; he was set up for humiliation, and it was flat-out wrong.

Did you suffer this kind of embarassment, so now you think everyone else should? Or are you just unwilling to be sympathetic to those folks who are the nerds of the world.

IMHO, the kid who showed up at every game and never got to play is a better role model than the coach. He is a L-O-S-E-R.

[Pithlet]

22. There is everything wrong with it.

It isn't celebrating him for who he is. It's humiliating him. If a coach pulled this with my son, I'd be raising the biggest stink I could manage.

He's not an adult in the pros. He's a kid in school. It's supposed to be about fun, building self esteem, teamwork, leadership, and all that.

[redqueen]

4. He's a *special education* teacher?

WTF?!

[JohnLocke]

5. Kick for the late afternoon crowd.

[bigwillq]

15. Unless you're getting paid millions of $$$$ to play a sport

I don't think their should be a crybaby award even if the kid is a crybaby. He's only 13.

The coach should be fired and banned from coaching again. We need coaches to encourage and support kids. He could have sat down and told the kids in a polite manner that he needs to work on certain skills, both athletically and personally, in order for the kids to become a better athlete as well as to develop into a fine young adult.

[Catholic Sensation]

19. This whole situation only makes the kid look worse

now he looks like even more of a crybaby than just some kid bitching about his playing time.

[devilgrrl]

21. I'd bludgeon him bloody with the trophy if it were my kid...

that'll be the last time he EVER gives an award out like that. Typical jock asshole!

[EdGy]

24. same here, except

that would be too good for this asshole.

It's the mentality of this guy that is manifesting itself in the Iraq torture pictures. A sick, right wing, fascist mentality.

On the other hand, this guy must have had very serious issues, he must have had deep insecurities about himself if he did this kind of thing to children. Sick.

[cmf]

26. What a butthead

You don't publicly humilate a child. You just don't. He deserves to be fired.

[geniph]

28. The purpose of sports at this age

should be to get some exercise, learn some teamwork, and have fun. Coaches who get so self-important that they act like it's training prospects for the NBA need to be given a long ride on the clue bus.

A humiliation like this - in front of the whole team, and known to the school - will stay with the kid for life. He'll still be cringing about this when he's 50. And telling the kid to be sure and attend because he had something special for him was the lowest kind of passive-aggressive bullshit.

This guy's just lucky that isn't my kid. He'd still be looking for the pieces of his teeth.