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Some people are so nasty when you raise the curve.

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SarahB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 12:36 AM
Original message
Some people are so nasty when you raise the curve.
I'm currently working on another degree and this Semester, I had to get a few elective type courses out of the way before I started my clinical work. Basically, they were pretty easy and other people in my classes noticed I'm the always first one done or tend to know most of the answers when asked, etc. Not that I'm the most brilliant human, but they're easy courses- 2 developmental psychs and a music 101 type course. Anyway, tonight I had to give an oral report. I did my research, wrote the paper that I to turn in to accompany as well, and basically did well on the paper. I have no problems speaking publicly, so I did a good job with that. However, I ended up with snide remarks from my fellow classmates about how theirs looked bad compared to mine. Definitely not complimentary with their tones.

Another example is the snotty moms I deal with now that I decided to stop looking frumpy all the time.

Another example is what my husband faces at work. He keeps getting more credentials and therefore is often given more responsibility. His co-workers get pissed because they feel that for whatever reason, they can't do the same thing themselves.

I guess I just don't get it. If someone is successful at whatever, why do people want to drag them down or disparage them because of it when frequently it's because they WORKED for it. Are people THAT insecure? I don't know, it just pisses me off. :mad:
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DrWeird Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 12:37 AM
Response to Original message
1. Just tell them it's their fault they didn't study harder.
Because it is.
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BlackVelvetElvis Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 12:41 AM
Response to Original message
2. Because some people are jealous
Pay them no mind. Dumbasses.
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SarahB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 12:48 AM
Response to Reply #2
5. I know
That's the whole thing, but I had to vent. :grr:
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Dogmudgeon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 12:42 AM
Response to Original message
3. The easy answers
1. The Two-Crabs-In-A-Bucket Effect: When you put one crab in a bucket, it will climb out. Put two crabs in a bucket, and they will pull each other down so neither of them get out.

2. Why People Resent Achievement: Because most people work hard for no reward. Yes, a degree or a credential is a reward. So is the attention of one's spouse, explaining the snotty-moms thing.

People aren't insecure. They're in pain. Be happy you're breaking out of that cycle.

--bkl
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daveskilt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 01:08 AM
Response to Reply #3
11. lobster bucket...true and a great aquabats song too. nt
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Dogmudgeon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 01:27 AM
Response to Reply #11
19. Never heard the Aquabats song
The Two-Lobsters-In-A-Bucket thing goes way back, though.

--bkl
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Eureka Donating Member (483 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 12:43 AM
Response to Original message
4. Tall Poppy Syndrome
Do you have that in the US? It's practically a national sport in Australia :-)

Probably something to do with our convict ancestry, but anyone who dares achieve or do well will be knocked back down quick smart.

It sounds to me like a dose of Tall Poppy Syndrome, and maybe I'm wrong on this, but I consider it a badge of honor.

Let the loosers try and knock you SarahBelle, they'll still be loosers when they finish (last)

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Kenneth ken Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 12:59 AM
Response to Original message
6. congratulations
on your paper and presentation.

SarahBelle
:yourock:

and you set a good example for your children!

:hug:


:toast:
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SarahB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 01:02 AM
Response to Reply #6
7. Thanks
They keep themselves motivated mainly through competition with each other I think.
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 01:05 AM
Response to Original message
8. I hear ya
Same thing happened to me last semester, in a multimedia class where making words fly around in flash was the norm, showing up with a 3D rendered movie that Boeing would be proud of didn't earn me many friends.

Screw em.
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SarahB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 01:13 AM
Response to Reply #8
15. Drives me nuts.
I put my education on hold for awhile, but not my brain. I figure we should all do our best. Too bad if my best (or yours) is better. They can bite me!!!
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Taverner Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 01:05 AM
Response to Original message
9. Congrats Sarah Belle!
And yes, they are insecure
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daveskilt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 01:06 AM
Response to Original message
10. screw em!
My wife has the same problem right now. She is doing her last class for her PhD in 20th century american literature. She needed this one undergrad art history class to complete her course requirements (her undergrad is in art history but they wouldn't waive the class - stupid school) yeah those wee 19 year old undergrads sure hate her for killing their curve.

I say screw em all! nothing pisses me off (in school) more than people who coast to easy grades they don't deserve. When grading students if they earned a D then they are going to get a D dangit. Of course here in Georgia there is the HOPE scholarship where they all get school paid for if they keep a B average. every semester a dozen students come crying that they really need this B or they will loose their scholarship and have to drop out and go back to the farm etc etc. should have thought of that before they skipped classes and didnt study. sure the student was in a car wreck...fine we can do an incomplete. but if they are just lazy (or as is often the case too damned dumb to be in college in the forst place) then they will get the grade they earned - then they can learn something about personal responsibility and about consequences for bad choices. what good does it do to give them a B they didnt earn? it teaches them they will never have to work for anything. they can cry and have it given to them -not in this class kiddo.

lobster bucket mentality
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SarahB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 01:11 AM
Response to Reply #10
13. What is it with stupid requirements?
Edited on Thu May-06-04 01:39 AM by SarahBelle
That's another thing. I already have a degree in early childhood education and I'm taking child development psych course with a teacher so unorganized I could teach the class myself much better than she could. I get 100+ on tests and barely glance at the book, but "officially" I needed THEIR psych for the nursing program and couldn't test out of it. That's been the absolute bain of my existance this semester.
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daveskilt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 12:21 PM
Response to Reply #13
30. I have a worse story - I had to take the TOEFL as an undergrad!
Since I was an international student (from Scotland) they made me take the English speaking literacy test. The girl giving me the oral portion of the test was not a native english speaker and nearly failed me for being a smartass (I was 17) - read this please (page says see john run, I say observe John perambulate at high velocity. etc - "no not correct answer")

Of course while I got the fun negatives of being an international student (only legally working 20 hours on campus for 5 bucks an hour, paying 8 bucks extra federal tax - leading to a first US paycheck of negative 3 dollars, not getting to vote etc) I did not get any of the perks. When I tried to register for the multicultural American civics class (another requirment) apparently I was not multicultural enough for the easy section (being as my skin tone is a traditional scottish pale blue) Absurdly students who grew up in the US learning high school civics were in the class where the questions were in the "what colors are on the US flag?" range while nonmulticultural non american students who had never heard of US civics as a course were being asked to discuss details of american history and constitutional law they never knew existed.

brilliant.
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Taverner Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 01:11 AM
Response to Reply #10
14. Be glad you're not in Law School!
My cousin went to Hastings and reported that if a student was doing well, other students would sabatogue his or her chances by stealing the lawbooks that that student had to do a brief from...
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SarahB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 01:14 AM
Response to Reply #14
16. That's awful!
:thumbsdown:
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PartyPooper Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 01:10 AM
Response to Original message
12. One word.
Congratulations!

:party:

:toast:

:beer:

:hi:



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Commie Pinko Dirtbag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 09:03 AM
Original message
And another word:
Morans.
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HEyHEY Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 01:18 AM
Response to Original message
17. I never believed people were like that until it happend to me once
I don't feel like getting into it, but yeah, fuck those people they're losers.
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TreasonousBastard Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 01:22 AM
Response to Original message
18. Whoa!
Keep talking like that and you'll be a Republican in no time. :evilgrin:

Anyway, we've figured out the opportunity angle, but that just gives more people the chance to fail. And are they pissed!



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SarahB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 01:29 AM
Response to Reply #18
20. Not at all
I have empathy and I'm far from living my own life in some perfect prescribed manner. I just expect civility from other people. Strange, idealistic notion I know.
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TreasonousBastard Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 03:02 AM
Response to Reply #20
23. Yeah, it is...
but somewhere at the bottom of all this are the false hopes and high expectations that we've given people.

Everyone can get a college education and make tons of money-- just like the really smart people. Everyone can start a business and be Bill Gates. Everyone can be the boss. If you're not a "success" you're a loser.

It's no longer acceptable to just work for a living fixing cars or checking out groceries. Maybe it never was, but it seems we're more divided on that now.

And then, when people don't measure up to the expectations they have of themselves, they trash those who do.



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Commie Pinko Dirtbag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 09:06 AM
Response to Reply #23
26. DINGDINGDINGDING we have a winnah!
The happy person is that who transcends the materialistic self-loath brainwashing you just described.
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redqueen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 11:17 AM
Response to Reply #26
29. Only thing is how difficult it is to transcent that stuff
when the pornography of wealth is thrown at us 24/7 (for the college students) and the constant image reminders (for the frumpy moms)

*sigh*

I really liked BKL's point about people being in pain. I wish there were some easy answer for all this but I guess it all just boils down to understanding and empathy.


:toast: for you SarahBelle, for doing so well. :)
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daveskilt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 12:25 PM
Response to Reply #23
31. classic sociology
An unrealistic or unatainable ideal (ie the US we're number one mentality and culture - how many people can actually be number one?) leads to people seeking success in deviant arenas...crime, drugs etc. Then there are the people Cloward and Ohlin call double failures who also cannot succeed in the deviant culture of crime and drugs etc...these people have to then define their own standard of what is ideal and this is where you get abnormal deviance - people who like to bathe in green jello, eat people, vote for bush, etc
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Wapsie B Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 01:36 AM
Response to Original message
21. They just have a deep hatred
of anyone who will make them look worse when compared to you or anyone else who knows their stuff. Some people don't like to be showed up.
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camero Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 01:44 AM
Response to Original message
22. King of the Hill
Edited on Thu May-06-04 01:45 AM by camero
They don't care how they get above you, they just want to be above you. It's apr for the course in our society.
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Nihil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 09:01 AM
Response to Original message
24. Same the world over (and from generation to generation too)
I had the same "problem" at school - found most subjects easy - and
learned to live with it. I'd help my friends if they wanted it, keep
doing my own work as well as I could and steer clear of the ones who
try to drag you down. It helped when I learned to stand up to bullies
instead of avoiding/evading them.

Now I find myself having to explain the same things to my eldest son
who is also having problems with kids trying to drag him down to their
level. It's a sad reflection on society but the silver lining is that
at least people now recognise that it is not *their* fault (for being
smart) but is actually the problem of the antagonists.

Congrats on your report! :toast:
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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 09:03 AM
Response to Original message
25. They're just jealous.
You're smarter, prettier and you work harder. They're still waiting on their handout. If you want more happy thoughts, you'll probably be more successful than them, too.
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seaglass Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 10:16 AM
Response to Original message
27. Just wait until your kids get older and they get the target on
their backs because they do something better than their peers.

My 14yo daughter has been treated like crap by some of her closest friends because of softball! I have all I can do not to detest these little twits for the cruel things they say.

It's jealousy, plain and simple.

My philosophy - excel, continue to do the best you can and fuck them.
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SarahB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 05:40 PM
Response to Reply #27
34. They already deal with it
My two oldest have been in identified as gifted and do very well. It's a damn battle to get them any additional services too. My daughter is 12 and I pray I can keep her encouraged and going, so she doesn't feel like she has to "dumb down" to fit in. Thank goodness they have each other sometimes. The sibling rivalry seems to serve the purpose of keeping their motivations going.
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SOteric Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 10:25 AM
Response to Original message
28. Yes, women can be especially viscious
to other women who are attractive, or emotionally evolved, or who excel at anything.

If they're just random strangers in your life, pay them no mind; be the best you can be and have no regrets.

If it's someone who might matter, a teacher, a relative, etc..., - kill them with kindness. I've turned more than one detractor into a friend by making them realise I wasn't a threat, and if it doesn't work - at least you tried and you may commence paying them no mind without regret.
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SarahB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 05:45 PM
Response to Reply #28
35. You're right
Most of these people I'll never see again, so their opinions shouldn't make a big difference long term. It was just massively tedious last night dealing with some of it (as well as this entire Semester). I don't understand why so many women can't just be supportive of each other. I've seen the most inane things turn into a competition in other women's eyes. Kind of silly. Men don't do this at this level. Men tend to have these issues with each other regarding money at times (at least many from my observation), but overall, there's more camaraderie by far with men than competition.
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northzax Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 12:54 PM
Response to Original message
32. what's interesting is that this is a function of 'civilisation"
most tribal cultures are so interdependant that no one person can ever be successful above all the others. If you succeed, you being others up with you. this is why there were huge feasts (like potlachs) that the chief would put on for the people. In order to succeed, you had to have everyone else behind you and with you, and you paid back that success to the community. It was only wit the development of 'modern' societies that this view was discouraged (starting roughly in Rome, from our tradition) Only fairly recently have people been celebrated for success, and elevated above their peers for this success.
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ewagner Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 01:05 PM
Response to Original message
33. First, Congratulations on doing a great job
Second, the situation you are in is one that is all too common.

"Non-traditional" students returning to school are much more highly motivated than "traditional" students, therefore they study harder and take their work more seriously. There is a lot of resentment toward these students from the traditional types.

When I was in school in the late 60's) we had a particular prejudice against what became known as "menopause mini's". Those were women who were returning to school after raising a family and took courses for self-enrichment. Often it was the only course they would take in a semester and equally often they would take the course with friends and form their own study groups...hence they could spend more tome concentrating on a single subject while others would have to spread their attentions to 4 or 5 separate courses. Of course, they would ruin the class curve and there was mush resentment. Obviously we (and I include myself in that group) were wrong about those students and the resentment was totally unjustified. But the point remains that the resentment against non-traditional students, no matter how unjustified, still exists.
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SarahB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 05:47 PM
Response to Reply #33
36. The thing is...
I'm taking classes at night and nearly all of us are "non-traditional" students. Hardly menopausal either. I'm in my early-30's. :shrug: I do understand you're point though.
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ewagner Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 09:13 PM
Response to Reply #36
37. In case you missed it
I am remorseful about my attitude back then.

If most of the class is "non-traditional" then they have absolutely no right to bitch when you do well.

congratulations again.
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SarahB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 10:11 PM
Response to Reply #37
40. Thanks
:hi:
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NightTrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 09:19 PM
Response to Original message
38. If a recent experience I had in this very forum is any indication...
...I'd have to say yes, some people do want to drag you down if you appear happy or successful! I'm damned if I understand it, though.
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-06-04 09:23 PM
Response to Reply #38
39. Really?
Have you been oppressed by the fabled underground underground?
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