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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-18-04 12:10 AM
Original message
Is it child abuse when a person hits his child because...
the child merely annoyed him?

If you could hear the SLAP from out in the street (forget thr crying as that would easily be audible), would that be a warning sign?

What if the child was overly attached to its mother?
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rwheeler31 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-18-04 12:13 AM
Response to Original message
1. Hitting a child because they have an emotional reaction, hmm?
nt
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Systematic Chaos Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-18-04 12:15 AM
Response to Original message
2. If what you're saying (as to the cause) is true
then YES. If the child is being smacked ANYWHERE other than on the butt, and only then as a final resort, the answer is again, yes. If it bothers you that much, make a call to child protective services. And that goes double if you hear episodes like these with any regularity.
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cally Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-18-04 12:16 AM
Response to Original message
3. YES
and please define how any child can be overly attached to his/her mother. That's what children are supposed to do.
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SarahB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-18-04 12:16 AM
Response to Original message
4. my answers:

yes
yes
Children are supposed to be attached to their mothers?!!
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liberalhistorian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-18-04 12:18 AM
Response to Original message
5. Yes, it most certainly would be abuse,
especially if you could hear the slap itself from that distance. And it depends on what your definition of "overly attached to his mother" would be. Some people consider any attachment at all to be too much, and vice versa. If a child is overly attached to his or her mother, whatever that means, then it ain't the kid's fault! The mother has more to do with it than the child.
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rasputin1952 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-18-04 12:22 AM
Response to Original message
6. One of the hardest calls you w3ill ever make...
is to CPS if you feel a child is being abused. This should NOT deter you from doing so if you feel the child is endangered.

An audible 'slap' would be grounds for a phone call IMHO, especially if this has happened before, and you have FIRST HAND knowledge of such events, (past and present).

It is a judgement call in this case, do you feel like you should call?
If the answer is yes, after thought, then make the call. I called on one woman down the block hitting her 3 yo after she ran into the street. I would have not had a problem with a spanking...but the stick was too much.... :cry:. I hate to see kids hurt... :(
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-18-04 12:29 AM
Response to Reply #6
8. No past events...
But my gut feeling tells me something is not right.

But I could be wrong in my perception. What I should do is to talk to a few people; I know some at work where I can be anonymous...

As a kid, I was often hit with a belt. On the rear only, but it was always very painful and sometimes I didn't even know why. (which is likely one of many reasons why I think everything I do is wrong...)
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alittlelark Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-18-04 12:27 AM
Response to Original message
7. Hitting a child for ANY reason constitutes child abuse
I grew up in a household where hitting was a daily ritual. 'The devil was fightin' with your soul' and all that shit.

I have 9+7 year old children who are brilliant, secure, and able to interact effectively with peers.....and guess what, they were never hit!!!

Hitting ('spanking', slapping, whatever...)is NEVER justified. It shows a smallness of intellect and spirit on the part of the adult (bully) in the situation. It shows that they are not in control of their emotions.

My kids have made me CRAZY many times - but I never allowed that to make me sink to the level of physical violence (aside from the time my 16 mo old daughter figured out how to open the garden fence and was in the middle of the road - I swatted her butt...my guilt was extreme, but I got over it).

You want to know what WORKS!!! Loooong one on one talks (didn't you hate them as a kid?). The worse the behavior, the longer the talk. My kids would do ANYTHING to avoid those long... look in my eyes ...talks. They love to chat, but hate the 'talks'.

Bottom Line - hitting kids is JUST PLAIN WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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strategery blunder Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-18-04 12:34 AM
Response to Reply #7
10. THANK YOU
:hug: :hug: :hug:

As a child, I was routinely 'spanked' ON THE HEAD :grr: :grr: :grr: :mad: :mad: :mad:

Unfortunately, DCFS had such a horrible reputation that I honestly didn't know what would be worse...putting up with this or being lost in the foster care system... :cry:
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alittlelark Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-18-04 12:38 AM
Response to Reply #10
12. It SUCKS doesn't it???
I have listened to my mother's rationalizations for her abuse....they ring hollow.

THERE IS NO EXCUSE.

Perhaps when we stop child abuse we will end wars........perhaps far-fetched, but I would LOVE to see the experiment occur.
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southerngirlwriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-18-04 12:40 AM
Response to Reply #12
13. You should read a book by Derrick Jensen,
A Language Older Than Words.

You'd love it.
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southerngirlwriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-18-04 12:38 AM
Response to Reply #7
11. I agree with you, but "child abuse" is a crime
that is not defined the way you or I would define it. I thought the OP was asking about "child abuse" in the legal sense?

Your kids are very lucky to have you for a parent. :hug:
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alittlelark Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-18-04 12:41 AM
Response to Reply #11
14. In the 'legal sense' Enron, The Rangers deal, and Harkin are
also acceptable. Yeah. Let's get down to the basics. What is RIGHT and what is WRONG......and this is comin' from someone who believes that almost all aspects of reality are in shades of grey.
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southerngirlwriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-18-04 12:46 AM
Response to Reply #14
15. I agree with you.
If the OP calls the police and reports child abuse where, legally, none exists, there are possible consequences to consider. That's all I'm saying. :shrug:
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alittlelark Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-18-04 12:57 AM
Response to Reply #15
16. I understand the point.
There are NO laws that prevent you from reporting suspected crimes......so long as the reports are not done with malicious intent.

I have been tempted a few times......but I am one of those people who WILL actively approach someone who is appearing to be violent towards a child.

Often, these parents show embarrassment and humiliation when they are asked 'if everything is OK', or 'are you OK'. I HOPE that it makes all of them analyze (realistically 70% would be great). I will never know.

I do know that staring someone in the eyes while asking them a tough question will give you deep insight - albeit brief.
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southerngirlwriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-18-04 12:30 AM
Response to Original message
9. Morally? Yes. Legally? Almost definitely not.
Edited on Sun Apr-18-04 12:33 AM by southerngirlwriter
Check your state law. In this state, a slap would only constitute child abuse if it caused an injury or left a bruise.

The law does not protect children. I reported my parents for hitting my bare ass with a belt when I was a teenager. CPS said it was reasonable discipline because I was not injured. That's the law here.

Morally? Yes, it's abuse. Legally? That's up to your state legislature.

On edit: I am not suggesting that you shouldn't call CPS anyway. If you can handle the possible retribution, you should call. Paper trails are wonderful things in cases like this.
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