question about last name/marriage practices..

[toddzilla]

say you're married and the wife decides to keep her last name.

If/when you have children, what is their last name?
who decides?

[galadrium]

1. This is one of those instances when I think tradition is a good thing

Everybody in a family should have the same last name, keeps it simple. But if the wife has a different last name than the husband I think the kids should keep the husband's last name.

[Salviati]

3. I figure I'll do what my parents did with me...

Our kids get my last name, and her last name as their middle name. It's up to her if she wants to keep her last name...

It seems like it would be good to start a new tradition:
last names get passed down through the paternal line and middle names get passed down through the maternal line.

[Kali]

2. who decides? the boss

Depends on the last names of each! short ones could be hyphenated but it gets ridiculous pretty fast. Sound it out - will the poor kid get made fun of? Which goes better with the kids first name?

use one for a first name if it fits???

[Interrobang]

4. You could always use something like Icelanders use...

In Icelandic tradition (following the conventional and not modern pattern, which is exclusively patronymic), nobody changes their name when they get married, so it's not uncommon for everyone in a family to have a different last name. See, if Ragnar Jorgenson and Dagny Heithrsdottir get married, and have two children, a boy and a girl named Erik and Brynja, then Erik's whole name would be Erik Ragnarsson and Brynja's would be Brynja Dagnysdottir.

So, a good compromise solution for dual-name couples might be to give children the last name of the parent of the same sex.

[freeforall]

6. I know a couple who did the same thing

but they were'nt Icelandic. Seemed to work fine.

[tigereye]

7. I had some old friends who did that!

I think they were from Minnesota originally. I kept my own name and my son has my husband's last name. Seems to be a common practice. The hyphenated name thing was too long. :)

[ccinamon]

5. I kept my maiden name when I married

and we have two children - we hpyenated their last name.

Jane Doe marries James Smith, the children are Bob Doe-Smith (or Bob Smith-Doe --- whichever sounds better).

Works just fine, when the kids are old enough they can drop one of their names if they choose (and of course pay the state for a name change).

We had very few problems with any school or gov't agency over their last name.

They are now in their 20's and have kept their hypenated last name.

Plus, it makes it easier if they have hypenated names when you call the school and say "this is Jane Doe, Bob Doe-Smith's mother".

Hope this helps!

[MAlibdem]

8. My parents fused their names

into a hyphenated thing. Works for me...all of us are hyphenated. Sort of short sighted tho, b/c eventually my grandkids will have 8 last names...then, i dont think ill continue the fusing...i dont want 4 last names

[Nikia]

9. My friend's family split by gender

She has her mother's last name while her brothers have her father's last name. Her mother is part Native American of a tribe that does things matrilineally so I think that she wanted to bestow that option onto her daughter.

[Bertha Venation]

10. my boss kept her last name

and her children have her ex-husband's name. I don't know why -- knowing the ex-, probably tradition.

Kinda sad, I think, because her name is a lot more interesting than his.