Tales from the shallow end of the gene pool

[Cuban_Liberal]

Some days, just when you think you've seen every bone-headed thing human beings can do, you find out that you haven't...

It's an absolutely gorgeous spring day here in IL--- 82, low humidity, a nice breeze, not a cloud in the sky, birds singing, bees buzzing, etc. . So, I'm cruising around on the back roads doing 'crime prevention' (read: killing time until the end of the shift) when a call comes across my radio informing me of a personal-injury accident in a little town nearby. I get the location and head there, sirens blaring and lights flashing, etc., and arrive in about 5 minutes. What do I see when I get there, you ask? A watering trough in the middle of the main street/highway with a BIG wet area around it and a 19 year-old wearing wet cutoffs rubbing his ass.

Seems genius boy and his buddy with a pickup decided it would be cool to ride around with this watering trough in the back of said buddy's pickup truck and look cool and try to pick up women. Like a lot of plans, it probably sounds good on paper, but doesn't quite work out in real-time the way you thought it would. The injured kid (bruised tailbone, the doc in the E.R. says) was sitting in the trough sipping a brew when his buddy suddenly decided to 'jack-rabbit' at the stop light, resulting in the truck accelerating VERY fast, and the trough sliding out the back and winding up in the middle of the road.

Although you should be able to cite someone for 'criminal stupidity', you can't, so I had to settle for one ticket of 'illegal consumption' (swim boy) and one ticket for 'unsafe operation' for the driver...

Some days I just want to pound my head on a rock until I lose consciousness... :shrug:

[Wickerman]

1. What a cool job

you get to meet such winners!

[latebloomer]

2. pardon my ignorance, but

What the heck is a watering trough?

[Cuban_Liberal]

3. It's a large vynil or galvanized tank...

It holds about 100 gallons of water, and is used to water farm animals. It's shaped kinda like an old-fashioned, claw-foot bathtub.:)

[Ediacara]

4. and by "water farm animals"

He means, "so farm animals can drink out of it," not, "so we can water farm animals like house plants." :-)

[Cuban_Liberal]

5. True.

:)

[latebloomer]

13. Thanks!

I was imagining them bathing in it.

You can tell I'm from the Joisey suburbs.

[Cuban_Liberal]

14. LOL!

I can introduce you to some very nice cows, if you'd like. :P

[blondeatlast]

6. So, they had, what, 4-5 women by that time?!

:evilgrin:

Sorry, but some things are just designed to lighten one's day--that's why God made people like this.

I hope that the ability to laugh at this crap relieves a little of the tragedy you face so often.

CL--you should write a boo, or at least a blog. You can't make this stuff up, you just can't!

[Cuban_Liberal]

7. Hehe

Real-life is stranger than the most bizarre fiction. I've made notes, and have thought about a book, frankly. Maybe I will. :)

PS--- I did wind up giggling periodically on the drive home, and Paddy almost fell on the floor, he was laughing so hard after I told him. :P

[xchrom]

8. i spent about half my life in central illinois

where are you?

[Cuban_Liberal]

9. Douglas County.

Arcola, to be specific. :)

[Rowdyboy]

10. You could write a book, but no one would believe it...Reminds me of

this old joke-

What are the last words most Southern women ever hear their husbands speak?




"Hey, baby, watch this....."

[Cuban_Liberal]

11. LOL!

:P

[blondeatlast]

12. ROFLMAO! OH. MI. GOD.

Let me breathe, I need to breathe...

Tears, absolute tears.

[Redneck Socialist]

15. I thought it was

"Here baby, hold my beer and watch this..." :)

[Rowdyboy]

16. Close enough!

Sounds like something Foxworthy said...

[Skittles]

17. I have always thought tickets for stupidity should be issued

and that they would be posted in the paper. YES INDEED.

[blondeatlast]

18. Indeed, indeed.

I wish CL had a video of this!

[Skittles]

19. here in Texas

a cop friend of mine was called in when some idiots decided to wash a truck - by backing it in a river. He said they called him like they expected him to DO something when it was washed away. :o

[blondeatlast]

20. No words--just shaking head in disbelief of the stupidity of some!