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What Is An Appropriate Punishment For School Bullies?

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THUNDER HANDS Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-16-04 01:13 PM
Original message
Poll question: What Is An Appropriate Punishment For School Bullies?
Please choose your favorite from the list below or come up with a creative one on your own....

Sorry, polls are turned off at Level 3.

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jono Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-16-04 01:16 PM
Response to Original message
1. Other: it depends on the action(s) of the bully. (nt)
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VelmaD Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-16-04 01:17 PM
Response to Original message
2. I kind of like what that guy did to Nelson...
on the Simpsons. Made him pull down his pants and walk down Main Street waving and blowing kisses. :)

Then there's what the little kids on my block did to our bully after my momma (yes my momma) pointed out there were more of us than there were of him. After we ganged up on him the next time he tried to beat one of us up we actually ended up becoming good friends with him.

In reality I guess the answer is more complicated. The punishment has to be tailored to the bully...whatever will work for that individual to get him to develop a little empathy. (God I hate being a bleeding heart with a Social Work degree who is obligated to see all sides of a problem.) :)
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qb Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-16-04 01:18 PM
Response to Original message
3. Therapy. I think bullies are seriously messed up
and probably have a bad home life. They need to learn their own self-worth while learning the worth of their classmates.
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On the Road Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-16-04 01:25 PM
Response to Reply #3
6. Therapy, But Broadly Defined
a lot typical sympathy and insight therapy won't work with some bullies. They're geared up to resist or take advantage of it.

More broadly, therapy means helping people to deal more positively with themselves and others. There are a lot of ways to do that. A person with the right instincts and training can be invaluable.
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pagerbear Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-16-04 01:36 PM
Response to Reply #6
10. Therapy as punishment?
Edited on Fri Apr-16-04 01:37 PM by pagerbear
Doesn't add up for me. Punishment should be a negative consequence for an inappropriate action. Therapy should be a measure taken to discourage or prevent future inappropriate actions. Big difference.
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qb Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-16-04 02:04 PM
Response to Reply #10
19. Since you can only pick one, that's what I picked
In view of some of the other posts here, I would suggest suspension as a punishment and mandatory therapy - some kind of "tough love" treatment that really shows them the consequences of their actions while addressing whatever inferiority/superiority problems they may have.
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Donkeyboy75 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-16-04 01:42 PM
Response to Reply #3
11. I totally agree.
One of my friends in high school was someone who bullied me in seventh grade. He would randomly punch me in the side of the head after shop class. One day I got pissed and whupped his ass, which was totally out of character for me.

He did have a bad home life, and that was just how he interacted with people. That being said, I think bullying is one of the worst traits of human nature, and that's one of my biggest worries of having children...keeping them from being bullies.
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NoPasaran Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-16-04 01:24 PM
Response to Original message
4. A good old fashioned punch in the nose
Followed by a lifetime of wage slavery at a meaningless soul-destroying job.
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mvd Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-16-04 01:24 PM
Response to Original message
5. Considering bullies are really insecure themselves..
I voted for social interaction therapy. :hi:
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Lydia Leftcoast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-16-04 01:29 PM
Response to Reply #5
7. Except, wasn't there one study that found
Edited on Fri Apr-16-04 01:31 PM by Lydia Leftcoast
that bullies actually have very high self-esteem and go around tormenting other kids because they feel entitled to?

When I was in junior high, it wasn't the low status kids who did the bullying. It was the high status kids, especially when it came to emotional bullying by the girls.

I think that's why the school was so unwilling to stop it. It wasn't the kids who were from the wrong side of the tracks who were beating up the retarded kids or the kids who seemed gay. It was the children of the people who had trophy mansions on the lake.
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mvd Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-16-04 01:36 PM
Response to Reply #7
9. That's interesting
When I went to school, the bullies used to pick on the ones that got high test scores and things like that. I was never bullied in a physical way, but I got harrassed in middle school and high school due to my doing well or getting on the honor roll. But I'd like to see more studies - it's entirely possible that there shouldn't be once course of action.
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demosincebirth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-16-04 01:49 PM
Response to Reply #5
13. Yeah right!
The only thing for these bullies is a good ass-whipping, from a peer, until he gets the message. Every time he bullies and gets away with it, he'll continue to act the same way. I've never seem social interaction, or intervention work on any bully. Believe me, I've dealt with a few in my life time, especially in the Army. The only thing is to find someone to stand up to them...period! I'm 62 and still believe in a little corporal punishment, now and then. I know, that will send many running aghast in this "new age."
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mvd Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-16-04 01:58 PM
Response to Reply #13
17. I don't believe in using violence first..
Edited on Fri Apr-16-04 02:00 PM by mvd
I think if a bully really does have high esteem, then some form of humiliation is in order. Like keep them from an important school event. Or put a putdown on their report card. Things like that go around in school. That in addition to detentions/suspensions. Expelling just makes them more of outcasts, so use that as a last resort. Also as a last resort, a bully could feel some of the pain that he/she's causing.
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pagerbear Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-16-04 01:35 PM
Response to Original message
8. Parents who teach them appropriate behavior
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On the Road Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-16-04 02:06 PM
Response to Reply #8
20. I Think People Were Addressing the Question More Broadly
than simply punishment (I know that was your poll question).

Framing it as a matter of punishment avoids the larger question of whether punishment is the best way to discourage bullying. My perspective from studying behavioral psychology in college is that the effects of punishment are always temporary -- the behavior always reoccurs. Punishment also reinforces the relationship of punitive authority and rebellious bully that perpetuates the behavior.

I'm not saying punishment should never be done, I don't see it as really addressing the issue of how to stop bullying. The key is the bully's own realization of his actions. Once this happens, no punishment is sometimes even more effective.
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Shrek Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-16-04 01:46 PM
Response to Original message
12. Stick 'em on a island with all the other bullies
Let 'em try bullying each other for a while.

Last one left alive can leave.
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RebelOne Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-16-04 01:54 PM
Response to Original message
14. I have a friend whose son died because of bullies.
He was constantly harassed and teased because he was fat. Well, one day he took his father's .22 to school. He stood up in class and said, "I'm not going to take it anymore," and then fatally shot himself in the head. This happened about 8 or 9 years ago here in Woodstock, Georgia. Since that time my friend and her husband have been on a crusade to end bullying in schools. They have appeared on many television talk shows, including Oprah.
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Van Helsing Donating Member (376 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-16-04 01:55 PM
Response to Original message
15. Harsh physical abuse...
Kick their ass!
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rustydog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-16-04 01:57 PM
Response to Original message
16. detention, school "community service"
Edited on Fri Apr-16-04 01:59 PM by rustydog
some form of sensitivity training.

Bullying is too generic a term. I used to be picked on by school bullies ( I didn't weigh more than 100 pounds until a sophomore in high school) constantly as a grade schooler. It did not stop until the one day I stayed after school to meet the bully who was going to kick my ass. He saw me and walked away.
To this day I don't know if he chickened out or just didn't feel like beating me into the ground at the time.

Then you have bullies who taunt, and taunt, and trip people in the halls, destroy lockers of the perceived weaker victim, follow them from school intimidating them, harrassing them on the bus, assaulting them, hospitalizing them.

Bullying is a part of school, but it does not have to be tolerated.
It can be stopped. The "bullies" have to know there will be serious consequences for their actions.

Of course, that may require changing "Juvenile Justice"laws that some states have that have lesser penalties for the same crimes adults commit. Start by making them responsible for their behavior.
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Mrs. Venation Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-16-04 02:03 PM
Response to Original message
18. I Voted For Therapy
as the best of the choices you offer, but I believe social isolation is the best punishment.

Children should not have to tolerate bullying, whether directed at themselves or their peers. I think the most effective way to deal with this is to remove their gratification. Put bullies in classes, or even entire schools, with other bullies. Ban them from extracurricular activities, especially sports. Teach them that actions have consequences, and that antisocial behavior is wrong and will not be tolerated.

When parents of bullies try to contravene, let them know they are part of the problem. Do not be intimidated by the parents' bullying behavior.

This is a serious behavior that has been allowed for far too long. The emotional scars a bullying victim carries can cause life-long consequences.

I speak from experience.
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theboss Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-16-04 02:11 PM
Response to Original message
21. Having the ever-living shit beat out of them
My grandma still tells the story of three brothers who used to gang up on my Dad in Junior High. (This was back when teenagers could actually have fights in which people didn't die). My dad was a pretty good athlete and could hold his own in a fight, but couldn't handle the three-on-one.

So one day, the three of them caught him in the alley behind his house. They didn't know she was watching. She walked outside and told everyone to freeze or she would call the police. Then she gave them the choice of fighting my dad one-on-one while the other two watched or facing the cops. They took the one-on-one fights. My dad whipped the first two, before the third promised to quit.

And that was that.
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David__77 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-16-04 02:13 PM
Response to Original message
22. Reform through labor... off to the reeducation camp.
...
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TahitiNut Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-16-04 02:20 PM
Response to Original message
23. Other: Community Service or Incarceration (It's criminal behavior.)
Edited on Fri Apr-16-04 02:25 PM by TahitiNut
Assault or Assault & Battery are both crimes.

I think it's appalling that (purported) adults view this as something other than criminal behavior.
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geniph Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-16-04 04:13 PM
Response to Original message
24. Menial chores are good
like having to weed the gardens of the family whose child they bullied, things like that.
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LDS Jock Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-16-04 04:23 PM
Response to Original message
25. death penalty here in Texas
You get it for everything else.
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MrSlayer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-16-04 04:36 PM
Response to Original message
26. Bullies are cowards at heart, stand up to them and they'll stop.
From personal experience if you give them a good ass kicking they'll leave you alone. Bullies prey on those they think are weak.
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Mrs. Venation Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-16-04 05:10 PM
Response to Reply #26
27. The Problem With This
is that not everyone is capable of giving them a good ass kicking. When I was a child I was teased and bullied because I was smaller than the other children. Even if I'd tried I couldn't have physically overpowered my tormentors.

Besides that, answering one antisocial behavior with another is, IMHO, not an appropriate solution. Too many people in this society already believe the appropriate response to being offended is with violence.

Bullies have a sense of empowerment; take away the power and they have no reward for the behavior. Isolate their sorry little butts and let them know that they will remain isolated until they've learned to behave in a civilized manner.
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Padraig18 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-16-04 05:11 PM
Response to Original message
28. A sound beat down usually works.
It always worked on the bullies while I was in school...
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