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killbotfactory Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 01:28 PM
Original message
Jesus Christ is unelectable and the next McGovern...
I know a lot of democrats think nominating Jesus Christ is a sure thing, but they are DEAD WRONG. Sure, he's got the most supporters and is a fundraising powerhouse, not to mention a miracle worker son of God, but let's look at the facts in post-9/11 America.

Fact: Jesus Christ has NO foreign policy or national security experience.

He was a great man, and did a lot for the world, but did he ever have to deal with trade issues? Did he ever visit Rome? Does he have any military experience? The answer is a resounding NO. He spent most of his adult life as a carpenter or wandering around Israel preaching to people. He never had to hash out trade-deals or bust an Al-Qaeda cell. Bush clearly has a tremendous advantage here.

Fact: Jesus Christ is a loose canon. He has temperament problems, is unscripted, and shoots from the hip.

For example, he went into a temple and went into a tizzy against the moneychangers. He will be too easily attacked for his temperament problems. Bush will attack this repeatedly. I can see it now "Jesus is all anger and will blow his top the minute things get tough"

Fact: Jesus Christ is soft on terrorism!

I mean, what's with this "turn the other cheek" stuff? He's just inviting another devastating blow against innocent Americans! That will not play well AT ALL in the post-9/11 world. He'll lose all 50 states.

Fact: Jesus Christ has a wimpy message and hung around shady characters.

Will the South go for someone who preached about loving your fellow man and hung around prostitutes and tax collectors? Hell no! The day before the election Bush will just send out phone messages saying he fathered a black baby, or something like that. His message won't play well in the south, and we NEED the south!

Fact: Jesus Christ is too religious for the left

They will abandon the Democratic Party and vote Green. There's a whole host of church/state issues that will turn them off, and too many of his followers have an anti-gay message.

Fact: Jesus Christ has... ahem... Kooky followers.

I mean, the KKK backs him, those WACO nuts, and those fundy preachers... Pat Robertson! What will the average voter think? They'll be turned off! Just think, Bush will run an ad of slow-motion shots of the KKK, with the message: "The KKK supports Jesus Christ. Do you?" The African American population wont back him up. Instant defeat.

Fact: Jesus Christ will raise your taxes.

How will his "render unto Caesar" message resonate with middle class voters? He will be too easily attacked as a tax and spend liberal. We cannot win with that message.

Fact: Jesus Christ has never held elective office!

He will never be able to pass his agenda through congress. He would have to just have direct intervention from God, which I'm sure the Supreme Court will rule unconstitutional. And what is his agenda, anyway? Just a lot of rhetoric with no details. These post-9/11 times are way too tough for a rookie to handle.

Come on, fellow democrats, Wake up. Jesus Christ is a nightmare for the Democratic Party! This election is too important to put up a candidate like Jesus Christ. He's unelectable. Too liberal in some places, too conservative in others. We will lose in a landslide. This election will all be about national security. And Bush has him dead to rights on national security experience.

Don't drink the Christ Kool-aid.
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eileen_d Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 01:29 PM
Response to Original message
1. Oh man... can't wait for someone at FR to read this...
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POed_Ex_Repub Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 01:30 PM
Response to Reply #1
5. But wait!
He does have the name recognition thing going for him... If CA is any model that seems to count for a LOT.
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CityZen-X Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 01:42 PM
Response to Reply #5
15. FACT!
Yashua Christo is the most influential being ever to stomp on this Earth, bar none!!
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killbotfactory Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 02:18 PM
Response to Reply #1
35. If Jesus actually came down to earth to run as a democrat...
Freepers would call him a heretic.
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truthspeaker Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 01:29 PM
Response to Original message
2. how dare you mock Christians!
just kidding. thought I'd head off the perceived persecution at the pass.
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Blue_Chill Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 01:43 PM
Response to Reply #2
17. You really think Christians will have a problem with this post?
It's fantastic. :D
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absolutezero Donating Member (879 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 01:49 PM
Response to Reply #17
24. only the fundies
I'm a catholic...and I thought it was funny as hell

then again...jesus woudn't win the repukes either...he's too liberal :evilgrin:

<waiting for a freeper response>
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Guaranteed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 01:30 PM
Response to Original message
3. We're taking the wrong approach to this election.
We need to be talking about the issues. We're getting sucked into a fight we're not going to win.
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K8-EEE Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 03:11 PM
Response to Reply #3
52. Chill Dude, We're Just Having Fun
Comic Relief...A TONIC, IMO....

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slinkerwink Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 01:30 PM
Response to Original message
4. lol
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WhoCountsTheVotes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 01:33 PM
Response to Original message
6. first Dean calls the GOP "Pharisees" now this?
This Dean-As-Christ thing is not only idiotic but probably offensive. Gimme a break!
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killbotfactory Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 01:36 PM
Response to Reply #6
8. You miss the point
It's not about Dean=Christ...
It's about how you can bash anybody with these stupid arguement. They hold no weight.
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WhoCountsTheVotes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 02:47 PM
Response to Reply #8
42. Jesus Christ isn't running for President
Dean is. The difference is clear. The arguments don't apply to Jesus Christ, they apply to candidates for higher office, like Dean and the rest.
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killbotfactory Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 03:03 PM
Response to Reply #42
45. It doesn't matter who is running for higher office
You can make up a bunch of defeatist crap like this about anybody.
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edzontar Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 05:12 PM
Response to Reply #45
79. Great post.
I hope your hilarious example helps to cool the divisive ranting around here.

But it won't.

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youngred Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 03:11 PM
Response to Reply #42
51. whatever you say
:eyes:
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Stuckinthebush Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 01:45 PM
Response to Reply #6
18. Oy!
:eyes:

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K8-EEE Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 07:13 PM
Response to Reply #6
91. 1) GOP ARE Pharisees!
2) This is a funny thread, get a sense of humor!
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WhoCountsTheVotes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 07:15 PM
Response to Reply #91
92. I laughed the first time I heard this joke
about 10 years ago...
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Padraig18 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 01:35 PM
Response to Original message
7. This doesn't help things, killbotfactory.
Please... :eyes:
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killbotfactory Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 01:37 PM
Response to Reply #7
9. Oh come on...
I guess I could have used Ghandi...
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Padraig18 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 01:38 PM
Response to Reply #9
11. LOL!
*smack* Impudent little imp! :P
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dreissig Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 01:38 PM
Response to Original message
10. Jesus Attracts Drunkards and Loose Women
There's always a crowd of wine-bibbers around him. You have to admit that changing the water into wine was over the top. Yes, it was an attention-getting stunt, but he didn't pay taxes on that wine, did he? He's quick to forgive sexual transgressors .... what's up with that?
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Mountainman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 01:38 PM
Response to Original message
12. Jesus is too liberal
Imagine the sermon on the mount being the Dem platform. Rush would have a feild day with that.
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UrbScotty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 03:49 PM
Response to Reply #12
60. ROTFLMGDAO! LOL! (nt)
!
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RetroLounge Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 01:39 PM
Response to Original message
13. I find this to be pretty funny, actually.
Hit a bit close to home for the Bashers, I fear...
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WilliamPitt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 01:41 PM
Response to Original message
14. Howard Dean is Jesus Christ?
BBBBBBBBBBBWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

You need another hobby. Fast.
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killbotfactory Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 01:43 PM
Response to Reply #14
16. For ****s sake. I thought you would get the point
Guess I gave you too much credit.
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WilliamPitt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 01:45 PM
Response to Reply #16
19. I guess you did
Color me Jewish, because I'm not convinced the savior has arrived.
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killbotfactory Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 01:48 PM
Response to Reply #19
23. Here's a hint:
The arguemnts I use are not the same as the ones against Dean.

Oh nevermind subtlety.

THE FUCKING POINT IS THAT YOU CAN USE THESE STUPID ARGUEMENTS AGAINST ANY-FUCKING-BODY. THEY ARE FUCKING WORTHLESS NO MATTER WHO YOU FUCKING USE THEM FUCKING AGAINST.

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Paragon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 04:28 PM
Response to Reply #19
73. Y'know...
...if a bunch of people who care about me told me I'd lost it, I'd actually listen to them.

And my sense of humor would definitely be the last thing to go.
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w4rma Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 01:46 PM
Response to Reply #16
22. I did too.
:(
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Stuckinthebush Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 01:46 PM
Response to Reply #14
20. Come on, Will
You know that was not the intent of this post.

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Scott Lee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 03:12 PM
Response to Reply #14
53. Can you say "missed the point by a light year"?
You surprise me, Will Pitt.
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ulysses Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 04:26 PM
Response to Reply #14
71. please tell me you didn't think that was the point.
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Hope4 Donating Member (132 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 01:46 PM
Response to Original message
21. Jesus Christ would not run for office they tried to make him king
Your post makes no sense.
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killbotfactory Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 03:46 PM
Response to Reply #21
59. Satire:
( P ) Pronunciation Key (str) n.

1. a)A literary work in which human vice or folly is attacked through irony, derision, or wit.
b)The branch of literature constituting such works. See Synonyms at caricature.

2.Irony, sarcasm, or caustic wit used to attack or expose folly, vice, or stupidity.


Does that help?
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AWD Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 01:50 PM
Response to Original message
25. killbot....
...I laughed out loud. Thank you.

I understood that you were making a joke.
I understood that you were not saying Dean is the savior.
I understood you were pointing out that all the attacks made by Repubs (and sadly, Dems) could be made the same way against the greatest man ever to walk the earth.

And I applaud you for this thread.
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killbotfactory Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 01:54 PM
Response to Reply #25
27. Thank you!
It's nice to see that some people got the point...

Good luck with your campaign!
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AtTheEndOfTheDay Donating Member (454 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 07:32 PM
Response to Reply #27
93. The peculiarly dim witted
interpretations some people came up with regarding this funny satire illustrates the difficulty we're up against as humans trying to find common ground.
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ThirdWheelLegend Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 01:53 PM
Response to Original message
26. Is this like the "Dean eats puppies" reply?
When valid criticism or questions arise about Dean, this seems to be a tactic often used. Instead of rebutting the information or discussing it, we get response like "yeah and Dean eats puppy fetuses!!!" or this "Jesus Christ is McGovern toooooo!"

These intend to marginalize any discussion by comparing it to absolute ridiculous statements that were NEVER made.

Just my thought.

TWL
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killbotfactory Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 01:56 PM
Response to Reply #26
29. Valid criticism is welcome.
But I rarely see that around here, nowadays.
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Blue_Chill Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 01:57 PM
Response to Reply #26
30. OMG Dean eats puppies? WTF???!!!
HEY EVERYONE DEAN EATS PUPPIES! DON'T VOTE FOR THE PUPPY EATING BASTARD!!!!!

hehehe
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Stuckinthebush Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 01:59 PM
Response to Reply #30
31. He eats puppies???!!!
That bastard!

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killbotfactory Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 02:01 PM
Response to Reply #31
32. Only after he aborts them!
He's an abortionist, after all.
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Scott Lee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 03:13 PM
Response to Reply #30
55. With Dijon mustard. It's a disgusting practice that needs to be stopped.
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mmonk Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 01:56 PM
Response to Original message
28. well
:eyes:
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tsipple Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 02:01 PM
Response to Original message
33. More Shocking Truths About Jesus Christ
Edited on Fri Dec-12-03 02:17 PM by tsipple
Jesus Christ consorted with prostitutes, including a woman named Mary Magdeline. Fox News Channel interviewed Mary, and she refused to say whether she had given up her profession for good.

Jesus Christ won't shave his beard, refuses to get a haircut, and he wears loose-fitting robes and sandals all the time, attire completely inappropriate for meetings with Congressional officials, lobbyists, and world leaders.

Jesus Christ prepared his own food for state dinners, including peasant food: fishes and loaves of bread. These preparations would offend world leaders and undermine international relations around the world.

Jesus Christ drinks, and he refuses to quit despite rumors of overindulgence. Several of his friends are regularly seen drunk, say Fox News sources.

Jesus Christ's kooky mother claims never to have had sex, and yet she gave birth to Jesus Christ. Even Bill Clinton never made such claims about the definition of sex, although such familial kookiness reminds us of Clinton's brother, Roger. And isn't Joseph really the father?

Jesus Christ's professional background includes carpentry, fishing, and sheep herding, so he has no experience for the presidency. He was never a lawyer, Fortune 500 CEO, or lobbyist, so how can he possibly be prepared for high office?

Jesus Christ is Jewish, and he was born in Bethlehem, a backwater community if there ever was one. He hails from Nazareth, so he's not from the South and simply can't persuade southerners to vote for him. Fox News consulted with its political experts and now estimates that Christ will lose anywhere from 47 to 49 states in the next election. Fox analysts expect that Christ will narrowly win in Massachusetts, and he should also capture the puny electoral votes in the non-state District of Columbia. The two swing states are Hawaii and Vermont in Fox's latest analysis.

Fox News Channel has received disturbing reports that Jesus Christ wore perfume, although his spokesman, Peter -- who strangely declines to give his last name -- denies the charges, saying it was simply a gift from "three wise men many years ago" (who he also refused to name). When asked whether these gifts were bribes and whether they included both gold and perfume, Peter said, "No comment."

Fox News sexual identity consultant and Democratic operative, Susan Estrich, said the following on The O'Reilly Factor: "Although I can't be sure, I think Jesus's perfume wearing may be indicative of his questioning his sexual identity. In fact I think that's great, that every male presidential candidate should get in touch with his feminine side."

Fox News's latest Opinion Dynamics poll shows Jesus Christ losing to George Satan Bush by 66.6 points. Bush dominates all demographic groups except lesbian farmers in the survey.

On edit: Fox News has just learned that Herrod has opened a criminal investigation into Jesus Christ's activities to undermine national security. However, sources also say that Pontius Pilate's department may assert jurisdiction. Fox News attempted to contact Christ's office for comment, but a person named Judas said that Jesus Christ "has nothing to say" in response to the charges. Fox News will continue to monitor this criminal investigation carefully and will provide updates throughout the broadcast schedule as events warrant. We now return you to live coverage of President George Bush's dedication of the new International House of Pancakes restaurant in Goshen, Indiana.
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killbotfactory Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 02:07 PM
Response to Reply #33
34. LOL... ABJ!
Anybody But Jesus!
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mrgorth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 02:24 PM
Response to Reply #34
36. Funniest thread ever!
You know I hear the Beatles think they're more popular than Jesus too. ;)
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JaneQPublic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 03:04 PM
Response to Reply #33
46. Some people say he looks French. (n/t)
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killbotfactory Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 03:06 PM
Response to Reply #46
47. LOL
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K8-EEE Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 03:10 PM
Response to Reply #46
50. No He Looks Too JEWISH!
He was in fact a Jew and a Middle Eastern one at that!
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killbotfactory Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 02:38 PM
Response to Original message
37. Jesus is too "culturally secular" for America
He condemns praying in public, but American's like it when politicians act pious! It sends the wrong message to religious Americans.

ABJ!
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truthspeaker Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 02:45 PM
Response to Reply #37
39. *snort*
Now that was funny!

Reminds me of the joke about the homeless man who was kicked out of church because of his body odor and shabby clothes. He sat on the curb outside, despondent, until a bearded man in a homespun robe and sandals walked up, put his arm around the man, and said "Yeah, they won't let me in there either."

PS. Did you spell "loose canon" that way on purpose?
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KFC Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 02:44 PM
Response to Original message
38. I sure would'nt compare Dean to Jesus
Although it does sort of fit with Dean's cultie image.

But I don't think Jesus went skiing during the Vietnam war.
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truthspeaker Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 02:46 PM
Response to Reply #38
41. yet again
someone completely fails to see the point of the OP.
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KFC Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 02:56 PM
Response to Reply #41
43. I understand that Dean wears a girdle
But I can assure you that Jesus did not.

That is the central point.
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texas is the reason Donating Member (284 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 03:10 PM
Response to Reply #43
49. are you saying dean is overweight?
or trying to imply cowardice?- at any rate, i am sure you are right- jesus, as historically one of the most benevolent souls of all time, would have been cracking little viet kong skulls and ripping out still-beating hearts with his bare hands. they would scream "mercy" and wave white flags, but jesus would be like "not so fast, there pinko" and jesus would execute every one of those damn commies for the good ol' U.S. of A.!!
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KFC Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 03:15 PM
Response to Reply #49
56. No, just that Dean's false teeth and toupee have nothing to do with Jesus
If they even had false teeth back then they probably would have been made out of rocks. Very bad for eating spaghetti.
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texas is the reason Donating Member (284 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 03:36 PM
Response to Reply #56
57. "if it weren't for my horse,i never would have spent that year in college"
i think i just had an aneurysm after reading your post.(if you don't get this, you probably are not a lewis black fan)
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KFC Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 04:09 PM
Response to Reply #57
66. Whenever Dean rolls up his sleeves, it makes me have to pee
I just have to make sure there is a bathroom near the TV.
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texas is the reason Donating Member (284 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 02:45 PM
Response to Original message
40. hahaha!! best post on here in a long, long, time!!
dude, that was hillarious! very good point BTW. anyone who reads this post and thinks you are comparing dean to jesus or mocking christians is either trying to start a flame war, or is just an idiot.<flamesuit ON>. This forum needs a sense of humor, bad.
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killbotfactory Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 03:01 PM
Response to Original message
44. Jesus is hiding his records
We know a lot about the last years of his life, and all the good he did, but what he did for most of his adult life is unknown! What is he hiding? There could be a lot of dirt we don't know about and Bush will use it to attack him! We need to be prepared in 2004!

ABJ!
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K8-EEE Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 03:08 PM
Response to Original message
48. I Have Really Wondered...
Why more isn't made out of the fact that the GOP is in essence, anti- Christian -- not anti Christian ESTABLISHMENT, anti-Christ's teachings.

Love thy enemy, yeah RIGHT!! Can you imagine if anybody ran on a REAL Christian platform, which would be, WE MUST STOP PARTICIPATING AND SUPPORTING TERRORISM IN THE WORLD. We must take care of the basic human needs of the poor. The massive accumulation of wealth and power inherently corrupt and not to be trusted.
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ozone_man Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 03:12 PM
Response to Original message
54. Hilarious, but you could see alot of this happening.
You made my afternoon.
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nannygoat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 03:46 PM
Response to Original message
58. Here's an oldie but a goodie along the same lines...
Guest Column: Jesus wouldn't have a prayer among the far right
http://www.amarillonet.com/stories/012903/opi_aprayer.s...

Excellent post, killbotfactory!
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HalfManHalfBiscuit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 03:51 PM
Response to Original message
61. I think Dean is more like L Ron Hubbard than Jesus
Short, stubby, cult following. Although I will say that I do not think that L Ron is any more electable than Dean.

My favorite L Ron quote:

"If you concentrate on the thoughts that are in your mind long enough, you will have quite enough to ponder."

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killbotfactory Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 03:53 PM
Response to Reply #61
62. Except Dean isn't a nutjob
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HalfManHalfBiscuit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 04:00 PM
Response to Reply #62
63. True.
Dean also is not dead. A fact that will certainly help him in his presidential bid.
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KFC Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 04:31 PM
Response to Reply #61
74. Dean IS L Ron Hubbard
LOL, switched at birth.

I don't think we want a $cientologist in the WH. They believe in too much wierd stuff like yelling at ashtrays and floating around. It would be a bit unnerving to have the president floating around the WH.
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gulliver Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 04:06 PM
Response to Original message
64. Nope. Cut to live TV...
... JC walks across a couple swimming pools and raises a couple of people from the dead.

Christ is in. Bush is out. The Republicans begin laying the groundwork for impeachment. With Bush's career over, the Devil sees opportunity knocking and announces his candidacy as a Republican in 2008. It is expected to be a close election.
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Capn Sunshine Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 04:07 PM
Response to Original message
65. only one thing left to do
anybody got any nails?
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deutsey Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 04:10 PM
Response to Original message
67. Jesus also has attended parties with PROSTITUTES
when others were joining the Roman Legions to fight for their Empire!

:evilgrin:

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AWD Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 04:15 PM
Response to Original message
68. It's worth noting.....
...that several people in this thread have made mention of Dean. they seem to attack the originator of this thread for comparing Dean to Christ.

And yet NOWHERE in your post did you even MENTION Dean.

killbotfactory may have made his Dean feelings known in other threads already, and there's a tiny tiny sig line that has his name in it....but Dean was not mentioned in this post.

Jumping to conclusions is a popular sport sometimes.

As for the argument "well, it was obvious that's who he was referring to".....really? Dean "is too religious"? When has that been levelled against him like killbot mentioned about Christ? Dean "has never held elective office"? When has that been levelled against him like killbot mentioned about Christ?

killbotfactory was using several memes against other candidates to make a joke that ANYBODY can be attacked by the right wing and WILL BE attacked by the right wing.

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killbotfactory Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 04:20 PM
Response to Original message
69. Former collegue Judas Iscariot question's Jesus' judgement
"He let his fame get to his head," said Judas, "I don't think he has what it takes to lead the nation."

Judas was very close to Jesus, and knows him better than most people. Is Jesus Christ the kind of man we want running the country if even close associates don't trust him?
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tom_paine Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 04:42 PM
Response to Reply #69
75. Next on Hannity: Longtime friend of Jesus, Judas Iscariot speaks out!
He will chat with Sean and alan about Jesus' consorting with prostitutes and other scum of the Welfare State...
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Beaker Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 04:26 PM
Response to Original message
70. Howard Dean IS NOT the second coming, and can't walk on water-
No matter what his supporters seem to think.
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killbotfactory Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 04:27 PM
Response to Reply #70
72. post #68
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AWD Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 05:18 PM
Response to Reply #70
80. I repeat....
It is worth noting that several people in this thread have made mention of Dean. they seem to attack the originator of this thread for comparing Dean to Christ.

And yet NOWHERE in your post did you even MENTION Dean.

killbotfactory may have made his Dean feelings known in other threads already, and there's a tiny tiny sig line that has his name in it....but Dean was not mentioned in this post.

Jumping to conclusions is a popular sport sometimes.

As for the argument "well, it was obvious that's who he was referring to".....really? Dean "is too religious"? When has that been levelled against him like killbot mentioned about Christ? Dean "has never held elective office"? When has that been levelled against him like killbot mentioned about Christ?

killbotfactory was using several memes against other candidates to make a joke that ANYBODY can be attacked by the right wing and WILL BE attacked by the right wing.
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Beaker Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 06:14 PM
Response to Reply #80
82. whatever...
:eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes:
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killbotfactory Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 06:16 PM
Response to Reply #82
83. I stand corrected.
???
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blindpig Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 04:50 PM
Response to Original message
76. nice
anybody that didn't get it needs to chill this weekend with a stack of looneytune tapes. yeah, this stuffs is serious as a heart attack but jeez.................
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Gman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 04:52 PM
Response to Original message
77. Jesus has no African-Americans in high level positions in his campaign
and won't win in November unless he involves the AA community.
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AntiCoup2K4 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 07:02 PM
Response to Reply #77
89. You're forgetting about Rufus, the 13th apostle
And treasurer of the "Jesus Christ - Resurrect America 2004" campaign.
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Ficus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 04:56 PM
Response to Original message
78. this is funny
I get the joke. Some folks need to lighten up.
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killbotfactory Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 05:38 PM
Response to Original message
81. Will the Crusades come back to haunt Jesus? Flare up middle east tensions?
"Whether or not he was ultimately responsible," Said one anonymous official, "The issue of the Crusades will make it difficult to calm Middle East tension. Here were all these people slaughtering their way through the Middle East in his name. If he didn't condone such behavior, why didn't he speak out? It stinks to high heaven."

Jesus could not be reached for comment.
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mzmolly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 06:20 PM
Response to Original message
84. HILARIOUS, it's a keeper...
:toast:
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Megrim Donating Member (23 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 06:24 PM
Response to Original message
85. Jesus wasn't real big on abortion
He loved little children. This alone might get him elected and override all the rest
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K8-EEE Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 07:12 PM
Response to Reply #85
90. Then JC Might Not Like The Iraq War
Or sactions for that matter -- or the bombing of 9 afghan children last week and then another six, but really the GOPs are all into embroyos and fetuses....once the kids are needing stuff, don't call them! They'd rather spend the money bombing somebody else's kids.
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buddhamama Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 06:37 PM
Response to Original message
86. brilliant !
absolutely brilliant and the funniest post i have ever read.
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govegan Donating Member (661 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 06:52 PM
Response to Original message
87. Jesus is just alright.
And the Pope smokes dope, too.
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zeemike Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-12-03 06:55 PM
Response to Original message
88. Great comic relief
I needed that
BTW I think Will Pitts is just having fun with you, he must get it.

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