Scientists discover new element...

[BlueAwards]

A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Governmentium". Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 311.

These 311 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but, instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass".

When catalyzed with money Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element which radiates just as much energy, since it has 1/2 as many peons but twice as many morons.

[wakeme2008]

1. LOL good one :) nt

[hwmnbn]

2. Very clever....

welcome to DU :hi:

[NNadir]

3. This joke was old in 1972.

This reminds me of the time that Ayn Rand, retarded liberatarian, wrote a book called Atlas Shrugged where she mocked science by demonstrating complete ignorance of the second law of thermodyanmics.

When liberatrian/neocon types try to sound scientific, even in a joke, they end up sounding even dumber.

[Bucky]

4. "libertarian/neocon types"? Um...

I haven't met a lot of libertarians who are too wild about the current administration's shenanigans. As a rule libertarians detest large government while neocons seek mostly to enlarge it.

[NNadir]

5. Neocons are libertarians who tried to put their absurd theories into

practice.

Most of these confused right wing "intellectuals" started with libertarianism - and being used to being easily distracted from reality - ended up with a mishmash of ideology, dumb patches and (maybe less surprisingly) religious fundamentalism - moved on to the nightmare of incompetence and poor thinking.

[harlinchi]

6. In 1972 I was 12 and had only seen the 'Who is John Galt' stickers.

I have since read 'Atlas Shrugged' and 'The Fountainhead'. I still find the joke funny, probably because chemistry was difficult for me and because the joke is new to me.

I see that you were intelligent enough to be able to focus on, or at least observe more clearly than I, her treatment of the 2nd law. I attended more to the silliness of her apparently expecting the best of our corporate and industrial leaders to act in ways that actually benefit society. There are no John Galts. There are no Hank Reardons. There are only the Taggarts and Bushs, the Thompsons and the Kenneth Lays, their ilk and those who aspire to be like them.

Boy, that sounds pessimistic; there must be good guys. Doesn't Costco act as a good corporate citizen? Aren't there others? I'm sure there are but it just doesn't seem the same.

I'm gonna pass the joke around to my friends, most of whom are far smarter than I am.

I never saw Ms. Rand but the retarded libertarian part was pretty funny.

[ComerPerro]

12. LOL. Well said

"when she mocked science by demonstrating complete ignorance of the second law of thermodynamics"

Isn't it funny how all GOP "satire" stems from or is built upon a basic misunderstanding of something or a general lack of knowledge?

For example (and Rush proved it the other day), Republicans mock Global Warming because some of the theories are too complex for them to comprehend.

That's why they love Bush so much. He's a moron, and so are they. So he speaks to them on their level.

"Evil Bad. Him evil. Therefore, him bad."

[Swamp Rat]

7. LOL! n/t

[Deja Q]

8. Corporations are just like governments too. Only much smaller.

Same shit. Just from smaller horses' asses.

[A Simple Game]

9. And like our government they are close to being dictatorships.

Many corporation's boards of directors have become yes men and women for their CEOs, just like our congress has become a rubber stamp for *.

Our congress is starting to show some signs of separation, but far from enough to suit me.

[burythehatchet]

11. Too true

I resigned from a 1/4 mil a year job after a dress code revision dictated that dress shirts may not be less than 80% cotton. Wasn't the only reason, but it was the last straw.

[A Simple Game]

13. Sounds like some one was making policy

from personal preference. Good thing they didn't prefer silk.

[benburch]

10. This rehashes the message of Ronald Reagan.

The idea that government IS the problem...