Here's how to get around (being put on hold) computerized customer service

[Clara T]

Tired of talking to a machine? Find a human with cheat sheet

Julian Borger in Washington
Friday November 25, 2005
The Guardian

In a consumer era which allows you to do almost everything by telephone except find a human being to help you, at least one brave man has decided he is not going to take it any more.
Paul English's moment of clarity came in March when he was being bounced around the automated "customer service" system of a mobile phone company.

"It was incredibly incompetent," Mr English said. He was driven to fury by the customary line "your call is important to us", so often delivered to long suffering customers - by a supposedly soothing robot. "Yeah, your call is so important that I'm having a computer talk to you," he snorts. So rather than pressing a key for more "options", or simply screaming into the telephonic abyss, Mr English decided to get even.

<snip>

The cheat sheet (http://paulenglish.com/ivr/) has become a sensation, and made the author, who runs a budget travel website, an overnight hero of a frustrated age. He has been inundated with praise and, in a few cases, declarations of love.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/usa/story/0,12271,1650349,00.html

Wonder if it works?

[marbuc]

1. Sp, you're going to make me hit the link to find out what he did? nt

[nicknameless]

2. Bookmarked! Great tip -- Thanks!

:)

[upi402]

3. saved, bookmarked, recommended

thanks Paul English!

[NJCher]

4. funny

My dad and I were talking about how neither of us have any use for the phone these days and it's mostly because of these stupid menus they make you punch through for what seems like forever!

This is great. Thanks for posting it here! I think this will be very useful.




Cher

[LiberalVoice]

5. Well i know the UPS one is correct at least. nt

[shenmue]

6. Saved it

Bookmarked. Will use in future. Should be helpful, thanks.

:D

[oldtime dfl_er]

7. Fantastic!

Hope the comcast one works; they're the a=holes I end up calling the most.

[michreject]

11. Hell with Comcast

I quit them 10 years ago for DSS and have never looked back. My biggest thrill in life was taking the equipment back to them and telling them to stick it up their ass.

[Hekate]

8. Thanks a bunch! Normally I just pretend I'm on a rotary phone and wait

I think there is still some small recognition that rotary phones still exist, and that their owners cannot punch in numbers electronically. It used to be common to hear the robot tell you to stay on the line if you still owned one -- I never hear that any more, but I still sometimes use the ploy of waiting silently for awhile to see what happens. What's really frustrating is phone trees designed by disordered minds, or possibly just by people who don't want to be of service at all. One time I was so favorably impressed by a small business's voice mail system that I left a message just to tell them how good it was -- and how rare.

I'll spread the cheat sheet around -- and post it by my phone!

Hekate

[SoCalDem]

9. It WORKS.. I've done it for ages

Whenever they ask for me to type in "my account number,I just hit 0 until someone answers my call..

and since the calls are recored, I always start with a gripe about "robo-phone", and thank the HUMAN for talking to me..

People do not call a business, "just to chat"..they have a problem and they want a human to listen to their problem..To pawn them off to phone hell, is inexcusable..

Robots don't buy stuff..people do..

[mcscajun]

10. Worse than having to press buttons; the ones that ask you to speak

to them. I have to deal with them when calling certain medical and pharmaceutical facilities.

"Please state the name of the department you are trying to reach."
"Sorry, I didn't get that; please say again."
"Is this correct?"
"Are you a provider or a patient?"
"For the entry you provided, we list Member Name N-E-L-S-O-N-M-I-C-H-A-E-L; Is this correct?

They all want one or two-word answers, and there are significant pauses. You sound like an idiot talking to these things -- worse; you FEEL like one.

:grr:

[michreject]

12. Now, how do we

circumvent those annoying computers that make calls? You answer a phone call and it's a computer. AAARGGG!!!!!

[Window]

13. Wonderful!

Thanks for sharing. Welcome to DU.




Peace

[Wilms]

14. Thanks.

I heard that cursing works, too. Tried it once, and it worked!