What would you do?

[lwbaby]

My dd is 17 and very pretty. She is engaged and everyone around her knows she is.

A boy who both works with her and attends class with her has been touching her inappropriately. He pinched her butt, smacked her butt and just yesterday pants her.

So, I called the school and complained to the Ass't Principal and insisted the IIC remove this pervert from her class and they refused to do so, citing their concerns that it would cause a problem with the pervert graduating. I told her I don't care about the pervert graduating, all I care about is my dd being safe. She hemmed and hawed and blathered on about suspension and what not.

Should I retain an attorney? All I want is for this kid to be removed from her French class, that is all. Though if he touches her again I'll want his balls and all of his parents' money.

[stevedeshazer]

1. dd?

IIC?

[lwbaby]

2. Idiots In Charge.nt.

[seriousstan]

3. She should slap him in the face and say loudly.

"Don't you ever touch my ass again."

[lwbaby]

5. She did

but I don't want him in her French class anymore.

[Ioo]

6. File Charges,,,

[iamjoy]

4. Why Is A 17 Year Old Engaged?

that's pretty young.

What is dd?

[The Witch]

7. dd = dear daughter

i believe.

[eleny]

8. dear daughter

[lwbaby]

12. Engaged

They are high school sweethearts.

She plans on finishing college before getting married but is committed to this young man. This jerk had no right to touch her, why are you asking about her commitment? Inappropriate touching is simply inappropriate.

[iamjoy]

16. Yes It Is Inappropriate

What that boy is doing is harassment and it shouldn't matter if she is engaged or not, but since you made a point of bringing it up, I had to ask.

[spindrifter]

9. Go above the IIC--

Your school district must have someone who deals with this type of situation. Remember, bullying, inappropriate touching, racial and religious slurs are not to be tolerated in a school. Your dd can contact the police. In my city this type of touching would be investigated and the kid would be prosecuted for, at the very least, a misdemeanor assault--and it could get a lot uglier than that. So let them know that you have no tolerance for the go along to get along plan at dd's school.

[lwbaby]

15. Thank you.

I plan on contacting the police, as well as our attorney. I am so pissed about this and just venting I guess right now and looking for the thoughts of others.

[bammertheblue]

53. Damn right...

call the police- report this pervert, and report the fact that the school refused to enforce the law by keeping your daughter safe from sexual harassment. Call your lawyer.
This is disgraceful. I'm so sorry you have to go through this, and I'm even more sorry that your daughter is going through it.
Next time he does it, she should yell and scream bloody murder until someone pays attention.

[no_hypocrisy]

10. How about getting a restraining order wherein he can't go near her

(within a certain number of feet) and can't communicate with her in any manner?

[MichiganVote]

11. Ask to see the school policy re: sexual harassment

[proud2BlibKansan]

13. Press charges against him

This has been a very effective method for dealing with bullies in elementary school.

You also could get a restraining order against him.

Once parents get serious about this crap and involve the police, that almost always gets the school's attention.

Good luck!

[lwbaby]

17. Thanks, I just may do that. nt.

[KerryOn]

27. But what happens when...

... she's made fun of because her mommy is fighting her battles for her? Come on she is seventeen. Still very young but getting old enough to fight her own battles. I guess it all depends on how serious this realy is.

What ever you do your daughter should be in agreement. How does your daughter feel about this?

Are there problems with this pervert at work as well, or does this just happen in school?

[lwbaby]

31. The pantsing..

happened at work.

The pinching and grabbing/smacking happened at school

This guy was a friend of dd up until all of this.

Re her being made fun of because her mommy fights for her, mayhaps of more parents fought for their kids the world would be a nicer place. Certainly more polite, I would think.

[stevedeshazer]

14. "Pants"?

He pulled her pants down?

I feel like I've walked into a different universe.

If I understand this correctly, your "dd" was "pants" and "IIC" should be concerned about a lawsuit.

Seriously, if this has gone beyond just kidding, you should be meeting with the principal and contacting your school district administrator.

[lwbaby]

22. Yup, my daughter had her pants pulled down. m.

I did contact the school administrator. Next stop is the police if the perv isn't removed from her French Class. I'm contemplating getting our attorney involved, prolly will because this is the third strike.

[stevedeshazer]

25. Then procuring an attorney is in order

If you can afford an attorney, and this is a third strike, act now.

[KerryOn]

29. Oh, now this is getting serious....

I would fill out a police report for starters. As ar as I'm concerned this is attempted rape.

How old is the prervert? If he's eighteen he is in big trouble.

[lwbaby]

33. 17. He's a classmate, co-worker and former friend. nt.

[tavalon]

54. Ah, that's assault

I didn't understand the term either so I ignored it. Yep, call the police and retain a lawyer.

[SofaKingLiberal]

18. Pantsed and touched innappropiately and the school does nothing?..

Definitely contact the police.

[stevedeshazer]

20. Okay, pantsed

Now I get it.

[stillcool]

She is ...

seventeen and engaged...and you're fighting her battles? She needs to learn to defend herself...preferably before she gets married.

[lwbaby]

23. She is my child. nt.

[stillcool]

28. i understand that...sort of...

as i was a foster child. At the age of seventeen i had graduated and was out on my own, so my perspective is bent. But, as a woman...learning to defend yourself against unwanted advances is a necessary lesson...and big part of self-esteem...no?

[lwbaby]

32. defending yourself is vital these days. nt.

[tavalon]

55. That sounds scarily like

blaming the victim. The next step for this guy could be rape. Do you still think her parent ought to not get involved?

[KerryOn]

19. Well if I were the man engaged to your daughter...

I would kick that perverts ass!

And in fact that is exactly what I did when a similar thing happened to my twin sister when we were in school. He never bothered or spoke to her again.

[ultraist]

30. Ya right, violence is the answer.

This situation needs to be brought to the attention of the authorities. That school needs to heighten awareness about sexual harrassment and put a stop to it.

I commend the OP for advocating for her daughter.

[ultraist]

21. Yes, you should take action. That's sexual harrassment

Call the ACLU. Hostile environment applies to public schools.


If my daughter was being sexually harrassed at school, I'd take action for her sake and other girls' sakes.

http://www.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/docs/sexhar00.html

http://www.commondreams.org/headlines01/0606-04.htm
Widespread Sexual Harassment Found in U.S. Schools
by Sue Pleming

WASHINGTON - Four out of five U.S. students -- both boys and girls -- complain of sexual harassment at school from verbal taunts to unwanted touching, according to a report released on Wednesday.
The study by the American Association of University Women (AAUW) Educational Foundation, said despite a zero-tolerance policy in most schools, students faced sexual harassment both in words and actions, often right under a teacher's nose.

``Sexual harassment is part of everyday life for boys and girls at school,'' said Jacqueline Woods, executive director of the AAUW, an advocacy group pushing for equity in education for women and girls.

Most of the students surveyed said their school had a policy about harassment compared to just a quarter in a 1993 AAUW study. However, this ``sea change'' in policy had not translated into fewer incidents.

``Parents, teachers and administrators need to do a better job educating our children on what is and what isn't appropriate,'' said Woods.

The report, called ``Hostile Hallways II, Bullying, Teasing and Sexual Harassment in School'', was based on a survey of 2,064 public school students between 8th and 11th grades. The margin of error for the survey is plus or minus five percent.

[lwbaby]

24. Other girls' sake..

You know, I wonder about how many other girls just put up with it because no one will stick up for them.

[ultraist]

26. Likely, a lot of girls

I added an article relating to that to my post.

[MamaBear]

34. I applaud your desire to make the school a safer place

Not all the students who attend are as lucky as your daughter in having a parent who is willing to be proactive.

I'm assuming you've had a couple of serious conversations with your daughter, and her fiance, and they are as committed as you are. If your daughter is lukewarm in pressing the complaint, it could be very difficult for you and for her attorney.

I hope you are all able to keep your lines of communication open. Please keep us posted.

Edited to correct typo.

[lwbaby]

35. Jess is pissed m.

She has been friends with this boy for a long time and couldn't believe what he was doing, even when he was doing it.

She is pressing the complaint and I and dh are beyond livid. It's not like he just brushed up against her once.

I appreciate the responses here because even though I am new here (or may beacuse of that) I have received excellent, unbiased advice.

Thank you all.

[Union Thug]

36. Don't know if I should answer honestly or not...

If it were my daughter, I guess me and Mr. Louisville Slugger would have to have a chat with this guy.

[lwbaby]

39. lol m.

You and my husband are on the same page!

I just want the creep out of dd's French class and don't care about his college aspirations or the rep of the school which seems to be most important to the school admin. MOre and more it seems our attorney will be swinging that bat.

[WilliamPitt]

37. Give her a can of pepper spray

The next time this cretin lays a paw on her, she can hose his ass down. That will get the cops involved, and you can get around these stupid-ass school authorities to deal with the real ones. Mr. Touchy will have more to worry about than getting his diploma.

[Swamp Rat]

42. YES! I agree 100%!

Get her a couple of canisters of pepper spray and show her how to use it!

Next time he touches her inappropriately, he'll end up looking like Marty Feldman or Peter Lorre on pot for a few days. That'll keep the little prevert occupied.

[lwbaby]

46. Pffft!!!!

Funny visual!!

All we want is for him to be out of her French class. The school is hemming and hawing and quite frankly we just want him gone and will take whatever steps are necessary to make that happen.

[tavalon]

56. I think you are narrowing your focus too much

This man clearly has suppressed rage issues and boundary issues. You could get him out of her French class, sure, but then what if he finds her outside of school and rapes her?

Call the cops and get her pepper spray.

[U4ikLefty]

50. Isn't possession of pepper spray on school grounds illegal???

because possesion of weapons on school ground is illegal. And isn't encouraging an violent illegal assault (with pepper spray) a violation of DU terms??? I should hit alert, but I'm not a nanny liberal.

See post #48.

[WilliamPitt]

51. I'm encouraging self-defense

Nice try, tho.

[T Town Jake]

38. I don't believe a word of it.

n/t

[lwbaby]

40. THen why did you bother to respond? nt.

[T Town Jake]

41. For the same reason I laugh whenever I hear a tall tale: it amuses me.

n/t

[WilliamPitt]

43. What is the basis for your doubts?

[Name removed]

45. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[WilliamPitt]

48. So nothing more than a hunch, then.

Cool. That was a personal attack on the OP. Hitting alert now.

See ya.

[T Town Jake]

49. Knock yourself out.

n/t

[lwbaby]

44. Then you are way too easily amused it seems. nt.

[T Town Jake]

47. So it seems.

n/t

[TallahasseeGrannie]

52. Go to the superintendent with your attorney

this is sexual harassment and potentially dangerous.

HE PANTSED HER??

You mean he pulled down her pants and she was in her underwear?

On second thought, you might consider getting law enforcement in this. Is there a school resource officer?

[sleipnir]

57. Suspension, well that's all about viscosity, so no problem there.

Unless she's concerned about getting involved with a less dense gas or liquid.