Scenes from a Bush Thanksgiving

[n2doc]

Brought to you by Mark Morford!
http://www.sfgate.com/columnists/morford/

Scenes From A Bush Thanksgiving
Dubya pouts, Cheney scowls, no one brings pie -- and why is Rove looking at Barb that way?

Ah yes, it is that time again. The smell of roasting turkey and cigar smoke and Polo cologne, perfume like florid gasoline. Copious forced laughter that sounds like geese mating in a broom closet. It is Thanksgiving dinner at the Bush White House, where the guests mingle as though their genitals were being squeezed by manic elves, as if they were all coated in vanilla pudding being licked off by Pat Robertson. Which, truth be told, some of them seem to enjoy. A lot.

They await the appearance of the bird in the cozy, heavily paneled White House drawing room with the grand chandelier sparkling there since the Truman administration, the rest of the space engorged with stuffy furniture Laura chose herself and which she thinks is manly and presidential but which actually looks like it was bought at a Jersey consignment store run by Ethan Allen's stoned brother.

Barbara rules. Owns the house, despite how she hasn't lived here in over 13 years. Laura can only look at her in numb awe, her own stiff skirt pleats appearing humble and small in comparison to Barb's massive teal dress ensemble, so epic and balloon-like it would seem to envelope all it comes near, like a giant ocean algae bloom, a massive amoeba, a cloud of righteous know-it-allness that makes easy mockery of Laura's little beige blouse of meek sexless humility. Barb is a force of nature, commanding the staff and chatting up the various heads of state and smiling at everyone with that glassy omnivorous stare. They all hate her.

[waiting for hope]

1. I am visualizing

and I'm scared......

[smirkymonkey]

2. Kick and recommended!

:kick:

[Canuckistanian]

3. Yikes! And I thought my Thanksgivings were bad...

"Rummy knows all about it. He and Dick stand near the bar and take huge swigs of scotch and puffs from thick Cuban cigars and speak in low, mean tones out the sides of their mouths, occasionally bursting into dark laughter that sounds like a brick being dragged over a cheese grater."

This man is P.G. Wodehouse reincarnated.

[Terran]

4. This is an awesome piece of writing!

A fantasy, yes, but how far off can it really be? This is exactly how I picture these people...although the idea of Rove and Babs rutting in some Beltway four-star hotel room is almost too vile to comtemplate.

[LiberalEsto]

5. Amen!

A lovely pre-Thanksgiving treat.

[Straight Shooter]

6. "... a cloud of righteous know-it-allness ..."

Perfect. Absolutely perfect.

Bar to Al Franken, "I'm through with you!"

[highnooner]

8. So Funny

:rofl:

[bunkerbuster1]

7. I'm sure he exaggerates

by as much as 5, maybe 10 percent.

[ewagner]

9. Great writing

It gives us liberals a nice, warm feeling for the holidays.

[progressoid]

10. This is priceless. Will be emailing this for holiday cheer.

Rove works the room, shakes hands, squeezing a little too hard to remind everyone who "the architect" really is. Everyone understands, even as they furtively wipe their hands on their pants after he touches them. Rove grabs fistfuls of baby shrimp and shoves them into his mouth when he thinks no one's looking, swallows without chewing. He smells like baby aspirin and old bacon

[Kadie]

11. I just finished reading this.

Very funny. :rofl:

:kick: