The Night Before Fitzmas (An Epic Poem)

Island Blue

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Wed Oct-19-05 09:19 PM
Original message

The Night Before Fitzmas (An Epic Poem)

'Twas the night before Fitzmas, when all through the house
Not a Republican was stirring, nary a louse;

The stockings hung on the chimney for the season,
In hopes that St. Patrick would soon mention treason.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of indictments danced in their heads;

And pa in his bandanna, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a short evenings nap,

When out on the White House lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the computer I flew like a flash,
Tore open DU and pulled up my wonky stash.

The moon on the mullet of Harriet Miers
Shown the light of mid-day on all that conspire,

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature Pirus, and eight tiny reindeer,

With a little old driver, so lively and phat,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Pat.

More rapid than bald eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, Kerry! now, Edwards! now, Clark and Howard Dean!
On, Clinton! on Boxer! Pelosi and Harry Reid!

To the top of the Capitol and over the Hill!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away still!"

As dry leaves that before the Cat 5 hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,

So up to the White House the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh of accusations and St. Patrick too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
No hemming or hawing just the sound of the truth.

As I read my monitor and was jumping around,
Down the chimney St. Patrick came with a bound.

He was dressed in faux fur, from his head to his toes,
And was bursting with news for DU and Daily Kos;

A bundle of indictments he had flung in his stacks,
And he looked like a prosecutor just stating the facts.

His eyes - how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like John Kerry's!

His droll little mouth was drawn up in a smile,
With a look of resolute in his eyes all the while;

With a brief little hiccup and a slight little burp,
He began talking and describing the perp;

"He has a big round head and a jiggly belly,
That shakes when he laughs like a bowlful of jelly.

He is chubby and plump, a right evil old elf,
And he laughs and he smirks, in spite of himself;"

With a wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
St. Pat let me know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke no more words, but went straight to his works,
And issue enough indictments to annihilate the jerks,

And laying a finger aside of his nose,
He gave me the signal that he had handled my foes;

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like a rocket or missile.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Fitzmas to all, and to all a good-night."

****************************************************************

My Fitzmas gift to all my fellow DUers especially everyone in the JK Forum! Merry Fitzmas!

- WOW I have a new Fitzmas tradition poem to read by the fireside this year	Sydnie	Oct-19-05 09:25 PM	#1
- Well done! I wish we had a "bowing" smiley. n/t	Lancer	Oct-19-05 09:25 PM	#2
- Here, I keep ones I like on	EC	Oct-20-05 11:12 AM	#26
- Fabulous!	sueh	Oct-19-05 09:28 PM	#3
- ! n/t	bear425	Oct-19-05 09:28 PM	#4
- Nominated!!! Woot!! Merry Fitzmas my friends! nt	KyndCulture	Oct-19-05 09:29 PM	#5
- Now THAT'S funny! n/t	prescole	Oct-19-05 09:32 PM	#6
- Nominated! Awsome and well said	stop the bleeding	Oct-19-05 09:35 PM	#7
- Merry Fitzmas, to you too "Island Blue!"	AuntiBush	Oct-19-05 09:37 PM	#8
- Wonderful!	abluelady	Oct-19-05 09:40 PM	#9
- that was great!!!	tulsakatz	Oct-19-05 09:41 PM	#10
- Another chance to post Georgia10's Fitz pic	Tinksrival	Oct-19-05 09:43 PM	#11
- Very well done - congrats	Ugnmoose	Oct-19-05 09:48 PM	#12
- Nicely done, IB.	globalvillage	Oct-19-05 09:59 PM	#13
- I need to put up a Fitzmas Tree after reading that....	alittlelark	Oct-19-05 10:20 PM	#14
- An instant classic!!	KeepItReal	Oct-19-05 10:52 PM	#15
- Get ready to send this to editors across the country.	mzmolly	Oct-19-05 10:56 PM	#16
- This here DU is one AWESOME place.	FizzFuzz	Oct-20-05 08:12 AM	#17
- Loved it! This is wonderful!	lavenderdiva	Oct-20-05 09:14 AM	#18
- It's too bad...	rmgustaf	Oct-20-05 09:17 AM	#19
- Outstanding work, Island Blue!!!!!!!! n/t	ThingsGottaChange	Oct-20-05 09:24 AM	#20
- well done, IB!	ginnyinWI	Oct-20-05 09:40 AM	#21
- Merry Fitzmas, IB and All! Send to Sam!	melissinha	Oct-20-05 09:58 AM	#22
- Excellent!	Lone_Star_Dem	Oct-20-05 10:07 AM	#23
- Please send it to anyone you would like to!	Island Blue	Oct-20-05 11:49 AM	#29
- Email to my friends!	Sequoia	Oct-20-05 10:38 AM	#24
- Merry Fitzmas	EC	Oct-20-05 11:11 AM	#25
- Indictment Time:Adaptation of Silver Bells	melissinha	Oct-20-05 11:17 AM	#27
- Thanks to everyone for reading and for all the recommendations!	Island Blue	Oct-20-05 11:44 AM	#28
- Apologies to Capra	PegDAC	Oct-20-05 11:52 AM	#30
- I sent this	PegDAC	Oct-20-05 12:06 PM	#31
- That's terrific! Thanks!!!! n/t	napi21	Oct-20-05 12:08 PM	#32
- Goodbye Festivus, Hello Fitzmas!	Mzztakable	Oct-20-05 12:15 PM	#33
- "The moon on the mullet of Harriet Miers"	blue northern	Oct-20-05 08:07 PM	#34
- MERRY LITTLE FITZMAS..Posted by BobbyG on huffpost...Ha Ha	No DUplicitous DUpe	Oct-21-05 12:54 AM	#35
- LOL	burrowowl	Oct-21-05 01:36 AM	#36