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An Open Letter to Andrew Card

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joemurphy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-19-05 11:07 AM
Original message
An Open Letter to Andrew Card
Mr. Andrew Card
White House Chief of Staff
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, N.W.
Washington, D.C.,

Re: The Bleak Mood at the White House

Dear Mr. Card:

I just got through reading a report by William Kristol, the editor of The Weekly Standard, which mentioned that due to all this talk about indictments the mood at the White House was very bleak. This saddens me. I am a long-time Republican voter and no one likes it when everyone around you is "depressed and gloomy". Sometimes, though, things happen and people just sort of stop smiling. It bothers me that usually happy, upbeat guys like you, the President, Karl Rove and Dick Cheney are down in the dumps. Thats why I decided to write this letter.

Whenever I am unhappy or depressed, I usually go to the Slovenian National Home, which is located on the west side of Indianapolis and get involved in polka dancing. Polka is a sure way to lift the spirits and put a smile on peoples faces.

So consider this suggestion: Get all of your depressed White House staffers into a circle in one of the ballrooms at the White House. Have them join hands. Then put on a little accordion music. And start to polka! I think youll find that once the polkas start everyone will be cheerful and happy again. As my Uncle Bela Toth always says: You just cant stay depressed when you polka!

By the way, my favorite polka song is Who Stole the Kishka? Its a song about someone stealing a big Polish sausage. They play it all the time at the Slovenian National Home. It goes like this:

Someone stole the kishka
Someone stole the kishka
Who stole the kishka,
from the butcher's shop?
Who stole the kishka?
Who stole the kishka?
Who stole the kishka?
Someone call the cops!
Fat and round and firmly packed
It was hanging on the rack
Someone stole the kishka
When I turned my back
Who stole the kishka?
Who stole the kishka?
Who stole the kishka?
Someone bring it back!

See! Theres just something about a good polka! So dont let all those indictments get you and your staff down. Polka! I polka-ed my way through Watergate and it kept me happy and cheerful. Ill bet it works for you too!

Anyway, good luck on those indictments! Ill be pulling for you!

Sincerely,

Lazlo Toth
Voting for Republicans (both indicted and unindicted) since 1952!

(Inspired by Don Novellos Lazlo Toth Letters)
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louis-t Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-19-05 11:11 AM
Response to Original message
1. I thought I smelled Novello. Hilarious.
Father Guido strikes again.
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FSogol Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-19-05 11:37 AM
Response to Original message
2. Nice job.
The Lazlo books are hilarious.
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Kazak Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-19-05 11:41 AM
Response to Original message
3. Rollll out the barrel, we'll have a barrel of fun!
Was always my Grandpa's favorite. :)
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