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Your lost loved ones can become jewels for Christ's crown!

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tanyev Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-30-05 08:19 PM
Original message
Your lost loved ones can become jewels for Christ's crown!
That's lost as in people who don't know the love of Jeeeeesus. Yes, Rev. Rod Parsley wants to pray for your unsaved loved one.

I want to help you call on the saving power of Jesus Christ to flood the heart and soul of your precious jewel. Here's how:

On Thursday, Oct. 27, we will broadcast live from the TBN Broadcast Center in Nashville, Tenn., a worldwide Super Salvation Prayer Service, and I want your unsaved loved one, as a precious jewel, represented during this massive salvation, soul- saving prayer meeting.

That is why I ask you to fill in the names of your lost loved one on our website. I will place precious jewels on the altar representing each one during our prayer meeting and believe God for their salvation.

https://www.breakthrough.net/Jewel/Jewel.asp

I'm going to ask that our President be delivered from the demons of alcoholism and that Ken Mehlman repent of his evil homosexual lifestyle. The forces of darkness are very strong in the Republican party right now. Tell Rev. Parsley all about it.
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Richard Steele Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-30-05 08:21 PM
Response to Original message
1. That's a fine idea: flood his site with the names of Repub sinners!
Edited on Fri Sep-30-05 08:32 PM by dicksteele
He's gonna need a bigger altar!

(edited cuz I kant spel gud)
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Straight Shooter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-30-05 08:27 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. He's also going to need lots of laboratory grown gems and cubic zirconia.
Repubs don't deserve real jewels.
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PassingFair Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-30-05 08:27 PM
Response to Original message
3. Rod Parsley.....hey there's a joke here somewhere.....
What's green and prays?
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hobbit709 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-30-05 08:31 PM
Response to Reply #3
5. In Rockdale Texas
There's a chicken and catfish joint called "Parsley's Pullet Parlor"
I kid you not.
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hobbit709 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-30-05 08:30 PM
Response to Original message
4. Just what kind
of precious jewels are we talking here?
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tanyev Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-30-05 08:45 PM
Response to Reply #4
10. Tiny little bits of cheap, tacky plastic, I'm sure.
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charlie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-30-05 08:33 PM
Response to Original message
6. $54 gets you a yard-long sword. Hoo boy...

Display this specially crafted sword in your home as a reminder that this is your year to TURN BACK THE TERROR and ADVANCE THE KINGDOM in your life! God has promised you a bigger, stronger, and more powerful sword than the devil ever dreamed of possessing (Isaiah 54:16).

http://www.breakthrough.net/covenant-partner.asp
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titoresque Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-30-05 08:35 PM
Response to Original message
7. No thanks I'll just wait for my Mormon family
members to baptize me when I'm dead :rofl:
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Gogi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-30-05 08:37 PM
Response to Original message
8. Ask him when he became a Mormon. eom
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LeftyMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-30-05 08:43 PM
Response to Original message
9. Wouldn't that be sympathetic magic?
I thought fundies weren't supposed to do pagan rituals?
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titoresque Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-30-05 08:46 PM
Response to Original message
11. I sent mine here it is:
Please confirm that the following information is correct and press "Confirm & Continue" otherwise click the "Edit - Go Back" button.

COUNTRY:
United States
SALUTATION:
Mrs.
FIRST NAME:
American
MIDDLE INITIAL:
Q.
LAST NAME:
Citizen
SUFFIX:

SPOUSE FIRST NAME:

E-MAIL ADDRESS:
lordhelpus@aol.com
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RECEIVE EMAIL IN THE FUTURE?:
No
ADDRESS 1:
just pray for him
ADDRESS 2:

CITY:
D.C.
STATE:
WA
ZIP/POSTAL CODE:
90018
PHONE:

666 - 666 - 6666
NAME OF LOST LOVED ONE:

George W. Bush AKA: Satan,Lucifer,Anti-Christ.

After pressing "Confirm & Continue"
please allow up to 60 seconds for processing.
Do not click your back button.










:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

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CatholicEdHead Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-30-05 08:55 PM
Response to Original message
12. Snake oil salesman
That is all.
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