Which is your most important value?

[More Than A Feeling]

For me, it is tolerance. Ever since I read Heinlein's Stranger in a Strange Land, I have not been the least interested in persecuting others because they do something different in the bedroom than me, or have decided to live in a way that is different than me. UNLESS, they have started encroaching on the rights of others. I am quite intolerant of that.

What about you?

[applegrove]

1. Empathy.

[More Than A Feeling]

3. Good call. I guess yours encompasses mine and more.

I am not very good at that. I have to work on it. I am also working on making peace an important value to me.

[applegrove]

4. I'm for peace with the exception of genocide & aggression where

I hope some day a crack unit of UN forces will drop on whoever the nuts are and put them away.

[More Than A Feeling]

11. What if it is left to just a country like us?

Do you support US intervention in places like the Balkans and Dharfur?

[applegrove]

12. I'm not saying it should be the U.S. I'm saying it should be Nato or

the UN.

Genocide in both those places. So yes - if you don't go in and trounce every leader who engages in that - it will continue.

[Piperay]

32. "Empathy" YES

that is what I was going to say. I feel being able to put myself in someone else's shoes is the most important quality I possess.

[applegrove]

34. Me too. Though you don't want to be too good at it. Your greatest

strength is your greatest weakness. Plus you wouldn't believe the shit that tries to stick itself to you when you haven't learnt how to say "**** off".

[shadowknows69]

35. Very true

I've always been empathic to the point thatmy capacity to feel people's joy is almost surpassed by the way I absorb people's misery and it almost incapacitates me emotionally.

[applegrove]

46. Well you get incapacitated by freezing when you should not. I don't

know that I have ever been incapacitated by someone's joy or sorrow - as long as they are on a journey & authentic - that is fine by me. I'm not perfect. I had stuff to learn.

The tough part is figuring out the assholes who use your empathy against you. For their own reasons of control. It happens. Thankfully not the norm.

[LWolf]

36. That's the one. n/t

[Qibing Zero]

42. Definitely. nt

[blonndee]

2. As cheesy as it sounds, compassion.

Tolerance is hard for me when it comes to Xtianity because of my background and the way in which a beautiful religion and social philosophy has been hijacked. I have, over the last few years, become unable to tolerate certain strains of Xtianity. Not that I "persecute" it...I just avoid and refuse it.

But compassion, I think, is the heart of where I am politically and spiritually. I don't mean pity; I mean a commitment to placing myself in another's shoes in an attempt to better understand where they might be coming from. I even do this for RWers, since I come from a long line of them. My "tolerance" for them is waning too, BTW...but I still have compassion for many of them.

[applegrove]

6. Compassion - Com - it means "with". Empathy is close. Pity - that

is for assholes. I pity them - I really do. Such shallow & nasty lives.

[Roxy66]

5. Tolerance for me as well, except I am having a hard time tolerating

Republicans. I feel they seath with hatred....

[More Than A Feeling]

8. The ones I know find it extraordinary painful to talk politics these days

you can see them wince when I bring it up.

[Broken_Hero]

7. hmmm....

Its sort of a hard to think through, or sift through the process to put a finger on the most important value. But to me, is the value of compassion. I think, compassion drives me the most. Compassion for my fellow man, compassion for the hopeless...My second though, is the value of non-hypocrisy....its so hard to find someone who isn't a total hypocrite, its what usually drives my thought process's on a lot issues, both social/political...but compassion, is probably one of my biggest core values.

[More Than A Feeling]

9. hypocrisy hmm? does the person have to be authentic, or...

will you settle for the one who is the least hypocritical?

[Broken_Hero]

17. I will settle for anyone,

who isn't blantaly hypocritcal, for example: I say don't drink, but i drink booze like a fish, don't smoke, yet i smoke two cartons a day...

I know everyone is hypocritical to a point, but i will settle for the ones, that at least admit that they were/are hypocritical on some issues, rather than the run of the mill hypocrite who pretends they dont' have to heed their own words/advice/actions.

[applegrove]

26. Someone who smokes more than a pack a day would have a hard

time hiding it. Were they in a middle of a quit? Cause I think that is denial or wishfull thinking on their part. Part of the quit.

Did the non drinker say they didn't drink or did they say they were careful to only have a few. Or did they say they didn't have a problem and then had serious issues related to drinking.

In both cases - you have more of an addict or a recovering addict than a hypocrite. Denial is part of it.

A hypocrite to me is someone who lies whenever they open their mouth. Like Bush & the Rove machines. John Kerry is a coward? Well that is blatant hypocrisy. It is pretty hard to live a life with no hypocrisy. What about leftists who use their car to drive all over the place. What about the mother who scapegoats her child for her own lack of growth and doesn't know it.

Nobody is perfect. We try. I'd be more concerned with the hypocrites who lye so often and so much that they believe it. Like some in the GOP or some of the heads of mega-churches.

The first thing you loose when you quit smoking is the denial.

[Broken_Hero]

27. I agree with you...

i was just using the non drinking, drinker, smoker, non smoker thing to point out some blantant hypocrisy...others are a priest tells you to stay true to your wife/husband, while they in fact are screwing around on their partner, and the list goes on and on and on, and into the areas that you delved into. Hypocrisy is at all levels, and denial is truly a part of it as you stated. But, if someone just lies and lies and lies, aren't they considered a liar, instead of a hypocrite? Or does it depend, on how much they lie, truly, lies, denial are parts of hypocrisy....

[applegrove]

30. Hypocrite means you say something you do not live yourself.

A Sociopath will spend all day long projecting their 'bad parts' onto others and trying to get the other to react or apologize. Are they lying? Sometimes they are but sometimes they truly belive what they say (i couldn't believe that - but apparently self knowledge is not top on the list of a sociopath). Someone who is so nuts they require the constant presense of an unwitting scapegoat - like Hitler - are they hypocritical? Yes. But they are more than that. Hypocrisy doesn't begin to describe them...yes?

Someone in a mega-church that teaches hate and lusts for power and then teaches the lessons from the bible about poverty & loving thy neighbour is a hypocrite. Are they a liar? Or are they just deluded? Depends on the person.

A liberal who is mean and targets outsiders who perhaps do not dress like a hippie - are they hypocrites? Perhaps they are judgemental.

There are degrees. I would assume it happens to most people sooner or later. The average person tells a few "white lies" a day. Does that make them liars? I don't think so.

Surely there are degrees.

[applegrove]

15. Compassion for the hopeless? Does that mean you care for people

who have no hope? Or for people who you deem to be without any hope in their future?

I'm confused. I don't know what "the hopeless" is as a group. Where are they?

[Broken_Hero]

18. I have compassion

for those who have no hope "anyone who thinks hope is lost, or a trait that will never inhabit their soul ever again"...a lot of poor, poverty stricken people live without hope, also, a lot of drug addicts also fall into that group also....most people, think, that if someone doesn't even care about their own situation, why should they deserve compassion, or help...i'm not like that, i feel compassion for everyone, even gwb to an extent...

[applegrove]

21. Just wanted a clarification. Yes - compassion for everyone who

is human. Not for predators. But yes - life is incredibly long in many cases. There is hope for just about everyone. That is why I didn't understand.

[Broken_Hero]

23. Its okay...

Its not like we are sitting in the same room talking, so i can see how misunderstandings happen...:) My wife always tells me that i'm the most compassionate person she has ever meet...i don't know if its true or not, but my wife is a good judgement of character, so i will just take her word for it, although, i might be just a tad bit biased in trusting my wife....:) ha...:)

[applegrove]

10. Compassion means to sympathize. No where near pity.

http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=compassion

[Maple]

13. Truth

[Carolab]

14. HONESTY. Hands down. n/t

[applegrove]

16. Yes - that is important.

[Broken_Hero]

24. Yeah, honesty is a big one....

but the reason why i chose compassion was because, would i rather have someone lie to me about something, or see someone treat others with no compassion?...I don't know, its all a hodge podge of values...its hard to pinpoint just one, without mentioning a few others.

[abluelady]

40. Honesty works for me

Personally, I think if you are honestthe rest falls into place. Why show compassion if you don't honestly feel it? If you're not honest how can you be empathetic. I don't think you have to have compassion or empathy to do the "right" thing if you are honest. Maybe it is semantics, but I think honesty is the root of all values.

[Carolab]

44. Honesty is a form of compassion.

Lying to people does them no good.

[tx_dem41]

43. Remember that with honesty comes self-honesty....

or being consistent with one's views regardless of what side of the issue you might be on. In other words... a "lack of hypocrisy". Sadly, I've hardly ever seen this trait amongst any group of people, regardless of ideology, faith, intelligence level, etc.

[Sapphire Blue]

19. Justice

[skids]

20. Intolerance :-)

I do not suffer fools and cheats.

It used to be that I considered patience my best quality, and forgiveness.

But the times demand otherwise. So I'm adapting. Hopefully it's not a permanent situation.

[spuddonna]

22. My unbridled cynicism...

It's served me well these past 4-5 years... Kept me sane...

[Broken_Hero]

25. ha, so true...

and good point.

[Kailassa]

28. Hedinism ;-)

Just imagine a world in which everyone had realised that doing worthwhile things that were good for the earth, for animals and for other people was what brought Real happiness.

[ladylibertee]

29. EVERYBODY do what ya like.As long as you are not a KKK member or

breaks any precedented laws, then your cool.Well,smoking pot every now and then isn't bad....or driving too fast when your alone on the freeway, or that's about it.

[wickerwoman]

31. A sense of fair play, I guess.

Maybe integrity. It seems like after thousands of years of existance, we've managed to come up with some pretty good rules for getting along. I can do my thing, you can do yours and when my thing gets in the way of yours, I think everyone knows how to solve the problem equitably.

What I hate are cheaters. People who think if they break the rules, they won't suffer any consequences just because those consequences aren't immediate. I can't stand people who think they are superior and that that puts them above the law.

Empathy is nice and helpful but ultimately it doesn't matter to me that much if you understand what I'm going through. You don't have to like other people, you just have to stay out of their face and deal fairly with them when circumstances throw you up against each other.

[ladylibertee]

33. Can we forward that to the White House? LOL

[DoYouEverWonder]

37. Can I pick two?

Honesty and Justice.

The rest falls into place from there.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

38. Emapthy Or Pity...

Rousseau said that the abilty to empathize or have pity is what separates humans from animals...

[leftofthedial]

39. equality

although, I suppose empathy underpins that

[Dogmudgeon]

41. Forgiveness

Pretty weird, huh?

At the base of it, all of my big faults and hang-ups have had to do with some kind of anger or hatred. Forgiveness of other people -- and myself -- has been the key to breaking those chains.

For me, forgiveness isn't a strictly theological concept. It's an extention of the instinct for survival.

--p!

[Bouncy Ball]

45. Helping others.

Lifting and easing the burden of others whenever and whereever and however I can. It is hands down my number one value and the one that drives my life.