Progressive, Child-Free Singles

[wtmusic]

"Traditional Family Values make you want to puke?"

-ad on DU "Latest"

Damn, I almost forgot that having kids and being progressive are mutually exclusive...can't wait till those pesky youngsters move out so I can be progressive again :eyes:

[annabanana]

1. lol

from Mother of 2

But it IS for a singles dating service. Like my Gramma said "Each to his own, said the old lady as she kissed the Cow".

[wtmusic]

2. That's fine

though the implication that having kids makes you less "progressive" is weeeeeeaak...

[Clark2008]

38. So is the implication that people with children aren't single.

:eyes:

[mikeytherat]

3. Try being married fifteen years and, by choice, not having children

Once everyone figures out I'm not impotent and my wife's uterus isn't missing, there's a really weird vibe that follows. Politics is the least of my concerns at that moment -- we've faced some really ugly comments because, by not choosing not to have children, we have (apparently) stuck a finger into the eye of respectable society.

mikey_the_rat
(married, progressive, Christian, childless-by-choice)

[wtmusic]

4. I've gotten the reverse vibe

from a lot of so-called "liberals" (ill-concealed pity).

Same thing in a different box.

[mikeytherat]

7. Don't care the direction from which it came -- it's wrong all the same!

Can't be a progressive with kids, can't be one without kids (and, yes, some of the comments we have faced are from those "left of center." Oddly, the most sensible response we got - that we were smart NOT to bring children into this world - was from a very conservative friend of ours. Of course, if you knew her kids, you'd probably realize this was really more wishing on HER part!).

mikey_the_rat

[gkhouston]

5. try what a friend of mine did, when asked once too often

about why they didn't have children: "The state took them".

[Poiuyt]

17. Mine were stolen from their beds by a married gay couple

[lildreamer316]

54. lol

love that. thanks for the chuckle

[formernaderite]

72. I'm passing that one on to my sister...

who gets much of the same.

[Demobrat]

6. That must be rough.

I get my share of comments simply for being single and childfree by choice.

I have actually been told, in all seriousness, by parents of course, that I wasn't "carrying my share of the load!"

Huh?

But...but...I thought children were blessings.

WHY ARE THEY SO MAD AT ME?

[mikeytherat]

9. Children ARE a blessing...

when they start becoming young adults, however...

"The sooner kids start talking, the sooner they start talking back. I hope you never say a word." - Homer Simpson to infant daughter Maggie

And dammit, Demobrat, get out there and start helping to carry your portion of their load!

mikey_the_rat

[Sweet Freedom]

11. I went through the same thing

I was married for years before I had a child and was frequently grilled about my childlessness.

Now that I have a child, it still isn't good enough. Now everyone wants to know why I haven't had another.

You just can't win!

[Qibing Zero]

30. I can imagine

I mean, I get enough flak just saying I don't plan on having kids, and I'm single. The looks people give you are horrible, as if they view you as unnatural.

[NMDemDist2]

61. yeah I hear ya, you should see the looks I get when they figure out

this married 50 year old woman has no kids

it's usually pity, confusion or the look folks get when they are DYING to ask, but good manners restrains them

:rofl:

[moondust]

73. Why do they hate freedom?

:shrug:

[evlbstrd]

8. It looks to me like all of the women on that site

are in California, Colorado or New York. And not looking for anyone older than 49.
Add to that the fact that I do have children (15 and 20, old enough to nearly qualify for freedom status), and I don't qualify. Progressive politics aside.

[Hello_Kitty]

24. If they're looking for someone under 49

It's probably because they themselves are younger than that.

Hate to burst your "men get better with age while women are has-beens as soon as they hit 40" bubble but most of us 30-something gals DON'T want to date men in their 50s.

[evlbstrd]

26. I don't remember saying anything of the kind.

I suppose I should have added that I didn't see anyone listed close to my age.

[Hello_Kitty]

56. You wouldn't on a "Childfree" site

That alone implies that the people on it are at an age where it's a consideration whether they will have children or not.

And what you said was that the women didn't want someone over 49. I was explaining why.

[evlbstrd]

64. I'm pretty sure that there are many women my age with no children.

How the hell am I supposed to know that most of the women were younger than I am without going to the site to look? You seem to rely on many assumptions. Like I'm looking for a younger woman because I find women my own age washed up. Now I know.
For the record, I would much rather see a woman in her forties, for the simple reason that we'd had have much more in common.

[Hello_Kitty]

68. You're right - I was relying on assumptions

But you didn't say you were looking for someone your own age. You said that the women you saw were from a few states and didn't want to date someone over 49.

And of course there are women over 40 who don't have children. I plan to be one of them :)

[evlbstrd]

70. Thanks.

And I should have made my argument more clearly in the first place. I saw "web site for progressives without children." The definition was totally implied. I was really hoping to find someone like myself there. Maybe I'm being too desperate?

[MsTryska]

10. i don't think that's what's being said.....

this coming from a single girl trying to date in a red state.

you wouldn't believe some of the crap i've heard come out of the mouths of guys who one presumes are trying to get into my pants.

[Pool Hall Ace]

12. I knew sooner or later somebody would grouse about this.

I didn't see anything in the ad that implied that parents cannot be progressive. The goal is to help childfree folks pair up with fellow progressives.

Some childfree folks are progressive. Some childfree folks are conservative. Some parents are progressive. Some parents are conservative.

The one thing that all childfree folks are tired of is being placed under a microscope because they don't have any interest in reproducing.

Some parents need to get over the fact that not everyone is going to praise them wildly for issuing forth precious miracles. :eyes:

[wtmusic]

13. And some liberals need to get over the fact

that other liberals can see kids as something other than a boatanchor

[Pool Hall Ace]

16. It shouldn't bother any parent that some people don't want to have

children, and would prefer to date others who feel the same way.

I happen to see children as burdensome wallet-drainers, but I realize there are many more who do not feel that way. I don't expect everyone to feel the same way I do, nor do I look down on people who don't agree with me.

[wtmusic]

25. You see other people's kids as burdensome wallet-drainers

if you don't have your own, then you don't know, do you?

[tigereye]

41. I guess I don't really understand why there are so many

negative attitudes about having kids in the first place, WT. I like kids, they are cool. I like having one. They can be a lot of fun. I get tired of people talking about them like they are a big pain in the ass.

:shrug:

[Pool Hall Ace]

55. Well sure, because of what I observe.

I was still a child myself when I realized that I had no desire to be a parent, but I still took the time to observe neighbors and co-workers when they became parents.

I saw women barely recovered from childbirth having to get up extra-early, pack a bag full of diapers and supplies, spend hundreds of dollars weekly for daycare, then pre-school, then after-school care. I've seen the frustration of co-workers trying to raise children over the phone, reminding the kids not to turn on the stove, or answer the door, or go outside.

Then there is the money for band camp, elite soccer league, and trendy clothes. And for some reason, every kid needs a car when he/she turns 16.

I also would not have the ability to tune my child out, like the mothers who gab at the school bus stop while their children wreak havoc, knock over trash cans, remove items from recycling bins. And if you dare say anything to the parents, the response is, "Oh, not my child!" (One mother who said that has an older son in military school -- quelle surprise.)

I have seen some wonderful parents who actually care about raising decent human beings, but they appear to be a minority.

[Demobrat]

19. I was kind of surprised

that anybody would take it to mean that people with kids were somehow LESS progressive.

One has nothing to do with the other.

I would think that most progressives would prefer to date other progressives, or at least not neo-cons, regardless of the kid question.

But then of course I am speaking for myself.

[Pithlet]

58. I've sensed the occasional vibe

that having kids was not progressive. I wouldn't say that it is overwhelming, but it is there. It has even been stated outright that it is downright non-progressive. There have been numerous arguments that having children is not environmentally sound, for example. And then there is the ever popular (no pun intended) overpopulation angle. That's always fun.

[Redstone]

14. People don't want to have kids? Fine with me;

it's none of my business. Do whatever you want to do.

But that term "child-free" gets on my nerves. It sounds to me like they consider kids to be an undesirable ingredient, such as in, say, "alcohol-free" cold medicines.

Redstone

[wtmusic]

15. Yes maybe we should all be

judgement-free :thumbsup:

[Pool Hall Ace]

18. "Childfree" is a positive term. Contrast it with "childless" which

implies a lack; not having children now, but plan on having them in the future.

And to some people, children are an undesirable ingredient, but there is no reason that should bother you. Some people don't like chocolate, some people don't like lima beans, some people don't like NASCAR racing, some people don't like children.

:shrug:

[Demobrat]

20. Childfree implies choice

Childless implies that one would have kids if they could, but they can't, or at least haven't yet.

The two terms describe completely different situations.

[Demobrat]

21. I am all for other people having kids.

The more the better. Somebody's going to have to pay for my social security, and we can't rely on illegal immigrants with phony green cards paying SS taxes they will never see again to prop the system forever. At least I hope not.

[JohnLocke]

62. My thoughts exactly.

Why not "childless"?

[Heddi]

22. Oh please. I guarantee you *I* am looked at as a dreg of society

because my husband and I choose not to have children.

Here are questions asked by friends, family, and perfect strangers alike:

You don't know REAL love until you have a child

Who's going to take care of you when you get old?

DOesn't it get lonely not having a family? (as if my husband, my mother, and my inlaws are just chopped liver???)

Don't you want to make your mother proud?

Your mom would make such a good grandmother. Why can't you give her one joy in life?

One day, you'll grow out of your selfishness and learn to love another as much as you love yourself.

You don't know responsiblity until you have to care for a child

Are you sterile?

Is your husband sterile?

Why wouldn't someone like you WANT to have a child?

Were you abused when you were growing up?

You must not be safe around children if you don't have any

-----

And those are just the ones I can think of off the top of my head

When people find out my husband and I have been together for 8 years, married for 5 and DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN AND DO NOT PLAN ON HAVING CHILDREN EVER, they look at us like we've got fucking oysters crawling out of our ears.

I've actually been asked if I was fertile. I've actually been asked if my husband is potent. I've actually been asked if my husband is a pedophile and if that's the reason why we don't have children.

You would not BELIEVE the opinions placed upon CHILDFREE BY CHOICE couples and individuals like my husband and I JUST because we don't have children.

We're both in nursing school---we've both been asked how we could POSSIBLY care for another person when we aren't even willing to give up our SELFISH ATTITUDES AND HAVE CHILDREN

And by the way---since I live in Seattle and most of my friends are progressive, a hearty 90% of the accusations made against my husband and I are from Progressives.

I've seen vitrol on DU from parents who go on and on about no, you're wrong--you never WILL know true love until you have a child. NO, you're wrong---you never WILL be happy in life until you have a chlid. No, you're wrong. You DON'T know responsibility until you have to care for a child. Yes, you ARE selfish if you don't see children as being the be-all, end-all of living.

Fuck that shit. And I'm sorry you're SO offended by those of us who are CHILDFREE BY CHOICE and love it.

According to most of the parents (again, Progressives) that I know, being Childfree and Progressive aren't mutually exclusive either. That in order to be a TRUE progressive, I must squirt out babies I don't want to have, raise children I have no interest in having, and live a life that I have taken steps to avoid.

Walk in my shoes. See how quickly YOU get offended at being asked, told, or implied day after day that somehow YOUR uterus is broken, YOUR husband shoots blanks or YOUR mental state must be fucked up.

Cry me a river

[Demobrat]

23. Get a few drinks in them sometime.

By the second, or third at the latest, they will start telling you how smart you are. Guaranteed. Happens every time.

[wtmusic]

28. Sorry, I'd have to disappoint you

and another example of the perpetuated myth that all parents are locked in drudgery

Get over it

[Demobrat]

31. Are you the type who constantly puts down non-parents?

If not I wasn't talking about you.

It tends to be ones who are the meanest or the most condescending to the childfree who turn out to be protesting too much. The ones who are happy are too busy caring for their own kids to care if anybody else has them or not.

[wtmusic]

32. Yup, that's me

You can look through this thread and *count* the number of times I've put down people for their lifestyle choices...but please cut some slack, 'cause I've got 6 more loads of diapers to wash.

[Heddi]

33. Exactly

I find that the people who question my child-free status are generally the ones who hate the fact that they have children, HATE that they have to do things they don't want to do and I always sense a tinge of jealousy in their eyes when I tell them that no, we don't have children and no, we don't plan on it and yes, we're quite happy with that decision.

As you state, the parents who are HAPPY parents and who don't regret their decision to have children are the ones that I enjoy hanging out with because they value the notion of CHOICE.

The other ones...the mean ones...the resentful ones seem to find it to be beyond themselves to admit that maybe they weren't cut out to be parents. Maybe they don't enjoy it. Maybe they thought they would but were sorely disappointed. Of course, they can't admit that to themselves, much less other people--they think it makes them bad parents or something. So they take their anger, guilt, resentment, and jealousy out on those of us who have the forward thinking skills and understand that you're not having a BABY..you're having a PERSON and that you're devoting every single moment of the rest of your life to that person.

They want to foist THEIR unending responsibility of parenthood onto ME, and make ME look like a bad person for not only not wanting that, but for taking pro-active steps to ensure that I don't have children.

They are the ones who get pissy because not everyone wants to sit at home on Friday night instead of going to a bar because Little Johnny can't go to the bar so let's sit at home and watch CSI...but make sure you're quiet...can't wake up Johnny....

They're the ones who get pissy because I don't know, and don't care to know what it's like to have a child with croup, or a kid that beats up other kids, or a kid who won't listen to what you say, and that I have no point of reference in my life with regards to these things.

They're the ones who think that because you're friends (or even worse--FAMILY) then you are happy to oblige to be a babysitter at any given moment without any advance notice whatsoever. And if you dare say NO, I can't babysit tonight, or this weekend, THEY get upset at the SHEER RUDENESS you have to dare have plans for your nights or weekends. Oh, and of course, because you're friends (or family), you don't expect to be paid for babysitting. Your house is always supposed to be childproof. Your animals are always supposed to act appropriately around children. Your belongings aren't important and if little Johnny happens to break something--oh well! He's a kid--that's what kids do.


That you're always happy to go to 6-hour long birthday parties where the only adults are you and your friend/family parents. Of course, they don't want you there for the company---they need someone to help mind the other 32 kids from the Kindergarden Class and oh yeah...you're not going to leave before helping us clean up, are you?

If not wanting that makes me selfish, so be it.

However, I'd rather regret never having a child rather than have a child that I regret having.

[wtmusic]

27. Maybe you could steer me to the place

where I said I was "offended by those of you who are childfree by choice".

Then again, maybe you couldn't...:eyes:

[Heddi]

34. maybe I can

"Damn, I almost forgot that having kids and being progressive are mutually exclusive...can't wait till those pesky youngsters move out so I can be progressive again"

"You see other people's kids as burdensome wallet-drainers
if you don't have your own, then you don't know, do you?"

[wtmusic]

35. In your own mind

but whatever.

[Heddi]

37. Hey I'm not the one with the ad

You are.

I didn't start this thread

You did.

You seem to have a problem with the idea that many people do not want children. You seem to think that YOU are looked down in society because you have children.

I can tell you that is patently untrue. Parents and those who are expecting children are considered the PINACLE of human-kind. Your biological reproductive functions aren't questioned like MINE are. Your mental stability isn't questioned like MINE are. Your abilities to handle stress and responsiblity aren't questioned like MINE are.

You're a parent. That's great.

Try walking in the shoes of NON-Parents. Not just those who are child-free by choice, but those who are child-free by biology. It's not pretty. And if you think that for some reason YOU are the whipping boy of progressive ideas, I can assure you that you are not, and you have no idea how much pain can be caused by others who find no greater joy than sticking their nose in my uterus and my husband's testicles to find out why why why why why we just don't become NORMAL and do the NORMAL thing that NORMAL people do and have children.

[wtmusic]

39. Heddi I have no problem with that at all

and I have *never* commented on anyone else's lifestyle choice--that's a personal decision.

My wife and I didn't have kids for ten years and we got all the same shit from relatives, who were poppin' 'em out just out of high school.

[Heddi]

45. I'm sorry if I came off way too strong

I sincerely do appologize.

Lately I've been getting it (again) from both sides of our family--hubby is about to start Nursing School next year and we're getting the "Oh I can't wait for him to be done so you two can finally START A FAMILY" and bullshit like that.

We mentioned to his sister that we were planning on doing travel nursing and she said 'Is that compatable with having a child?'

It's SO frustrating that people cannot see that our lives have different priorities than they do. Perhaps in a different reality, we would have children. In fact, I know of one very real reality that had we stayed in SC instead of moving to WA, we would have a kid, and a mortgage, and a car payment. As it stands, we made different choices and have none of those and are pleased as punch with it. We would have been equally pleased, I'm sure, if we had the mortgage and the baby and the car payment.

I suppose that this was the wrong day for me to read this thread because I"m hyper-sensitive about it these days because I've been getting it constantly over the last weekend. It's like IT NEVER STOPS>

I'm sorry if it seemed that I ascribed to you traits that you do not possess, or feelings or attitudes that you do not have. That was wrong of me to paint you with the bitter brush I paint my bitter relatives with. I'm sorry for that. It was wrong of me to do that.

As it stands, I believe in choice for all people. I'm happy people are having kids because at least they're making up for the ones we're not having :) And I do enjoy children, as long as I can send them home at the end of the day :) THe little boy next door to me comes over and helps me pick tomatoes in the garden and stuff like that, and that is just SO fun. And it's great that when I've grown tired of him, I can send him back across the fence to mommy :)

Again, I'm sorry for coming off so harshly. I acted inappropriately regarding your post and it was very unprofessional of me to do that.

:cheers:

[wtmusic]

47. You're the best

understood, and likewise I'm sorry if I made it sound like I was one of *those* people. :thumbsup: :hug:

[Heddi]

52. I think that tensions are high these days

for a myriad of reasons. I think we're all a little bit on edge these days and that's why I've been trying not to post on DU as much as I used to because I find my fingers typing faster than my brian can 'proof-read' and things that I mean to come across in a normal way come across sounding like a screeching wreck.

Thank you.

[blindpig]

40. Bravo!

I resemble those remarks.

[tigereye]

43. luckily, I never had those things said to me

or maybe I just don't remember, prior to having a kid at age 38. I never felt incomplete without a kid, and I don't feel that being a parent makes me a better person or complete now. I have always been progressive and I don't think having a kid or not having one has anything to do with that.

I don't expect my son to take care of me, or fulfull my dreams or anything like that. The only reason I get worked up over these types of threads is that people act like kids are a big pain. They are people, very cool people. They aren't a disease and the term "childfree" makes them sound like one.

JMO

[Heddi]

46. I don't use "childfree" to imply free of disease

I mean it to imply free of children by choice, not by force.

When people say "childLESS", to me, it makes it sound as if we're lacking something in our lives--children. "Less" implies lacking, going without, by force, not by choice.

ChildFREE is just that--I'm free of children. I don't see them as a disease, but I do see them as a burden that I'm not willing to carry at this point in my life.

I suppose that my husband's family (in particular) are very Appearance-Oriented. You must always LOOK the status quo, even if you don't live it. Buy the house you can't afford so you look affluent. Drive the car you can't afford so you look affluent. Have children you don't want so that you appear "normal". It's unrelenting sometimes and very aggrivating that a conversation with them cannot be had without the "So....when are you two going to start a family" questions. And it's not once, or just one question. It's on and on and on and no answer from us is ever good enough. "You'll change your mind" "Hurry up before you get too old" "That's what I used to think too before we had OUR unexpected pregnancy"----

I'm more than happy if people have 10 kids each. It's their choice. I just wish that some people (particularly the family members) could understand that our CHOICE is different from theirs. Our lives are so happy and so full of joy that I can't imagine a child increasing that happiness or joy. I don't even think about it. I think about graduating from school, my husband graduating from school, starting our lives, moving around, travelling---children just don't fit into my future outlook on life. And that's okay.....with me, at least. I wish other people in our lives could get 'okay' with it too.

[tigereye]

49. ah

my parents were very cool about those things, and so were my husband's parents. They never really cared what we did as long as we were happy. I guess having kids could be seen as another way of "keeping up with the Joneses" or status quo, and that isn't good, either. No one should pressure people to have kids. Kids can enhance what you have, but they aren't a requirement. It's all good whatever you choose to do.

There are just some folks here (not you) who talk about them in a way that makes me wonder about their essential humanity and I feel like I have to call them on it. But then, I really like kids and always have, and I feel blessed to have a cool kid in my life.

:)

[Heddi]

51. My deepest fear...

is that we'll have a child and it will turn out to be a complete HORROR. I do want a child, one day, if the situation is right. But I'm SO afraid of that child turning bad, or being bad beyond our control. And not necessarily like a murderer, but (this sounds so silly) but hateful. Or Selfish. Or Republican.

Hubby and I are pretty cool people. I'd want our kid to turn out like us. But I know that after a certain age they kind of grow up and start being their own person. The lack of control in that area frightens me and I'd hate to bring a child into this world only for them to turn out to be a junky or prostitute or homeless and without hope or goals and being completely out of our reach and unwilling to get our help.

That happened to a friend of mine. She and hubby are BEST people. Her son, though, dropped out of school at 17, ran away with his 14 year old girlfriend, stole a gun, held up a conveneince store, shot the owner in the leg and is 27 or 28 and is getting ready to get out of prison in the next year or so. Kid has NO education, still has the gangster-mentality, and she's now got to deal with a 28 year old with the mentality of a 17 year old living with her while he 'gets on his feet'.

She is helpless to turn him away--where else is he going to go? But I think she knows the reality that he's not going to want to get a job, or go back to school as soon as he comes out. And days turns into weeks turns into years, and she and hubby have been empty-nesters for the last 10 years. Now she's got to be a parent again to someone who isn't developed past 17, but has the "I'm a grownup" attitude of a 28 year old.

I feel for her and her situation, and I think that reality--the 'worst case scenario' is one of the deeper reasons why I'm not flushing my depo shots any time soon....

[tigereye]

65. the irony about that is

that you really can't control what is going to happen. That is the blessing and the curse. It's like that line in Parenthood where Steve Martin is discussing different ways of viewing life - some see it as a roller coaster and take delight in that and some are afraid to ride. At least that's my poor paraphrase of it. You never know what you are going to get, and sometimes that's a good thing, even if it is a little scary. :)

don't mind me, I have been in a very throughtful mood this week...

[Zomby Woof]

44. I wish I could nominate a post

Because this is 5 stars. FIVE! :thumbsup:

Keep tellin' the HeddiTroof!

[enigmatic]

48. Best post in the thread

Thank you.

[Pithlet]

59. Believe me

It isn't the child free that get the brunt of it on this board. Not even close. I don't doubt you've gotten a lot of flack in real life for your choices. Nosey busybodies abound no matter your life choices. But, DU is not the safe haven for parents you make it out to be. I've hardly ever encountered the posts you're talking about. I think you're projecting a bit.

I could just as easily go on a bitter tirade about how everyone hates kids here. I could probably even come up with examples to back my claim up. But, I won't, because it is ridiculous. It just isn't the case for either side. Whether or not you have kids, there will always be people who judge you. Neither the child-free or the childful have the exclusive right to gripe about DU.

[meganmonkey]

29. Would you be so offended by an ad for 'Progressive Parents'?

I think you may be overreacting :shrug:

36. without children

There are a lot of mixed messages out there. It will be nice some day in the future, (surely not in my lifetime), when people make their own unique choices in life, male and female, without blaming parents, society, or marriage partner. And we actually function as a community instead of separate units trying to one-up each other. And one other thought - at least in America it is ok to not be married, although people make comments. I hear in countries like Iran, unmarried women can end up on the streets.

[Redstone]

42. By the way, don't misinterpret me as being "anti-child-free" or whatever

the hell the term would be...

The more people who don't have kids who move into my town, the better, as far as I'm concerned. They pay property taxes but don'thave kids to send to the schools, which works out pretty well for the town.

And no bitching about that, please. You're part of a community, whether you like or not. And if you're a "progressive" or "liberal" or whatever, I wouldn't expect to hear any complaints, anyway. I'm sure that ALL DUers understand that it's their obligation as part of a community to support that community, whether they receive direct benefits from EVERY DOLLAR of their taxes or not.

My house has never burned down, but I don't complain about the town's spending for the fire department.

Redstone

[Demobrat]

50. I don't mind paying for schools. I'm happy to.

When I'm old I want to live in a society full of well-educated, productive, happy people, not poor, uneducated, desperate folk with no choice but to bash me over the head and take my purse if they want to eat that day.

[Redstone]

53. Hey, want to move to a nice small town? We could use

more people like you.

Redstone

[Hello_Kitty]

57. So now it's parents, huh?

That are the latest to add their plight to the cause of pseudo-victims.

White males crying "reverse racism!"

Fundamentalist Christians crying "persecution!"

And now it's parents crying "the child-free are excluding us!"

Please :eyes:

[Pithlet]

60. Hardly

A vast majority of parents on DU are supportive of our child-free brothers and sisters. Some people just like to gripe.

[Hello_Kitty]

69. Oh I know

Besides, why would most parents care about a dating site for people without kids?

[Pool Hall Ace]

71. Just my opinion, of course.

I think that parents are so accustomed to being patted on the back to some degree that it bothers some of them to be excluded.

What they don't understand is that for a childfree person, the first priority in searching for a mate is weeding out people who have kids or want kids. This is no small task.

Many dating services don't even offer a childfree option in their questionnaires. Their answer choices go from 'has one child' to 'doesn't have kids yet, but wants to eventually.'

It is quite common for a childfree person to not be able to hook up with another childfree person. Frequently, parents respond wanting to know how they could be so mean as to not want a partner with children, or if you just met his kids, your heart would melt, etc.

The childfree dating service is a great idea, and a needed service. If I were single, I would certainly use it.

[really annoyed]

63. Reminds me of a comment from work the other day

My co-worker is 20, single, with a kid.

"Do you have a kid?"

"Why don't you have a kid?"

"You don't like kids?"

I'm in my early 20's, and I'm already expected to have a child.

It is obvious that families with kids are the norm in the United States - progressive or conservative, single or married.

[buddysmellgood]

66. So...why don't you have a kid?

Ha ha ha :evilgrin:

[really annoyed]

67. hehehe....

:silly: