the pickup truck with roid rage (CXT)

[Cocoa]

I saw one of these parked outside a 7-11, I waited to see who the fuck was driving it and it was a middle aged white collar type and he looked freaking ridiculous.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/08/10/AR2005081002378_pf.html

The pickup, introduced to the roads more than a century ago, was conceived to be the smallest possible get-the-job-done truck. Now International Truck and Engine has taken that concept and, oxymoronically, developed the world's biggest smallest truck -- the CXT.

Such a feat is the equivalent of creating the world's shortest skyscraper, quietest fire alarm, slowest jet, driest swimming pool.

The new CXT from International is hu-freakin-mongous. This bad boy is nine feet tall. It's got thigh-high tires, and two running boards up to the cab, and door handles you have to stretch for. When the bed gate folds down it's about as high as a mantelpiece. The truck is built on the same platform used for snowplows and dump trucks. It carries six tons -- some three times what a normal pickup would tote -- tows up to 22 tons, and comfortably seats five people, even with embarrassing body mass indexes.

International sees several potential markets: small-business people such as landscapers; dealers who may want to use it for its promotional value; high-profile people who need showy Bigfoot-type rides; large companies like Coca-Cola, which is using the truck to promote its new Vault energy drink; and outdoorsmen who might have boats to haul or duck blinds to cart around.

The CXT was designed as a promotional tool, says David Wrobel of International's marketing wing. Coca-Cola has bought a few; so has Irwin Tools. No surprise, some celebrities have taken a shine to it, too. Demi Moore's paramour, Ashton Kutcher, has one. So does the NBA's Jalen Rose. The company has sold 250. Each one retails for $120,000. A tow hitch costs extra.

more...

[iconoclastNYC]

1. I have a blog entry about the CXT

Seems all those small-dicked Hummer drivers have something new to cry about. The Hummer is no longer the biggest baddest gas-guzzler on the block now that commercial truck manufacturer International has unleashed the mighty CTX.

Notice the subtle Freudian penis-envy language International's copywriters employ to sell these monsters:

"Onlookers have been known to gawk at its style and gasp at its size. At 21-feet long with tires hip-high and a 9-foot tall cab, it's the largest production pickup truck currently on the market. It's an International CXT—born out of the proven International 7000 severe service commercial work trucks used by professionals for the most rugged applications.

"Whatever you call it, the CTX leaves bystanders speechless. For drivers who want to make a statement, this is how to broadcast it. Size, power and flash brought together to create the ultimate truck for extreme work or play."

So... you can't bring your wife to climax without depleting a couple double-A's, and you don't dare shower at the gym, and you buy the baggiest swimtrucks you can find. No worries. Just buy this ridiculous truck instead and you'll command respect! Afterall, we've got 150,000 troops in the Middle East to make sure gas stays below $2.00 a gallon, so why not?

The CXT has an available option that diverts gasoline from the fuel tank to use as windshield wiper fluid, and each CTX includes a free "Support the Troop's Job Security: Use More Gasoline" sticker for the bumper.

[Cocoa]

6. gasoline as wiper fluid

:rofl:

[kslib]

2. Ugghh.

And in case you missed it.

[YOY]

4. Ideal for the solid-gold-upright-piano mover in your life

[TrogL]

10. I could carry more stuff in my van

and it would fit in my garage (and underground parking at work)

[Kolesar]

3. "comfortably seats five people, even with embarrassing body mass indexes"

You would need the experience or training of a professional trucker to know which roads you could drive that wide vehicle down.

[Cocoa]

5. and to judge the vertical clearance too

that pipe is pretty tall, I'd love to see some yuppie scum get stuck in a low viaduct during rush hour.

[TrogL]

11. my van seats eight

and there's still lots of room in the back

[SlavesandBulldozers]

7. damn you can put a shitload of support our troops magnets on that bad boy

this should be a big hit in pig-fucking florida.

[Spinzonner]

8. How many gallons-to-the-mile does it get ?

[ComerPerro]

16. .111111111111111 - Check out this quote

"It'll probably tick the tree huggers off," says Kevin Roberts, 41, a Prince George's County firefighter who has just taken the CXT for a test spin around the orange-cone-lined track. With a "gross vehicle weight rating" of 25,999 pounds -- one more pound and you'd need a commercial license to drive it -- the diesel truck gets about nine miles to the gallon. It can go 75 miles per hour.


Yeah, that's right, you fucking douchebag. I'm a tree hugger because I think its absolutely retarded to drive a truck that gets nine miles to the gallon. You have fun putting $150 a week into that thing. I'll just laugh at your stupid ass and then fly by you at a mind-blowing 80mph.

[alkaline9]

9. wonder how many will buy it to...

...make up for inadequacies elsewhere??

[Dude_CalmDown]

13. I'm gonna take a wild shot in the dark and guess that you're a Trio fan.

Am I right?

[Maddy McCall]

12. Ha! KLLM in Jackson (your sig pic) is a company controlled by Ebbers...

controlled by Bernie Ebbers. Funny!

[Fitzgibbon]

14. Holy shit!

And people wonder why gas is so fuckin' expensive? Gimme a break! That sucker's just embarrassing to look at!

[ComerPerro]

15. Didn't Pepsi have a Superbowl commercial about this?

Remember that one, where P Diddy shows up in a Pepsi truck, and everyone starts driving them because they are suddenly cool.

Seems so relevant now...