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senseandsensibility Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 11:57 AM
Original message
I am literally going insane....HELP!!!
Edited on Wed Jul-20-05 12:08 PM by senseandsensibility
Please, talk me down. My hubby's far right wing veteran great uncle is staying with us for SEVERAL DAYS. I won't go into details, but the main thing is my far left hubby is talking to him about politics nearly 24/7. He has the patience. I definitely don't.

Just now, the great uncle stated that Kerry didn't earn his medals. My own oh-so-patient hubby carefully explained why the swiftboat liars can't be trusted. What was great uncle's response? The stories must be true or Kerry would have sued for libel.

I am hiding in another room tearing out my hair, but I must admit: Kerry should have done that. I screamed about it on DU at the time, because I knew then that if he didn't hit back hard, Kerry would become whatever the liars branded him. And now, I see that it's true. And yes, even with election fraud, I think it cost him the election.

Folks, I have several more days of this to endure. You may hear from me again. So far, I have bitten my tongue. Can't guarantee it for too much longer though. :argh:
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getmeouttahere Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 11:59 AM
Response to Original message
1. Personally, I would avoid him...
and short of that, tell your hubby to stop engaging him in political discussions. I know that is very difficult, because even talking about the high price of gas can trigger a political discussion, but I think it's worth a try.
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senseandsensibility Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 12:02 PM
Response to Reply #1
10. Thanks
I've got the avoiding part down. If I can squeeze a few moments alone with hubby, I'll make that request.
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MissB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 11:59 AM
Response to Original message
2. Find him a hotel room.
Or tell your dh and your great uncle-in-law to stop talking politics, or *you* are going to a hotel for the remainder of his visit.
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GreenPartyVoter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 11:59 AM
Response to Original message
3. Hang tight! *hugs* I married into a RW fundagelical family. Hard work but
you can get through it.

Just keep coming in here for doses of sanity!
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senseandsensibility Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 12:10 PM
Response to Reply #3
17. Thanks
:pals: I know I'm not the only one that's been through this, but thanks for understanding. It feels bad when you're going through it, and I hope I can laugh at it later.
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GreenPartyVoter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 12:10 PM
Response to Reply #17
19. You will, because you will come and report all insane RW talking
points here and we will ALL laugh and make fun. *g*
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catnhatnh Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 12:00 PM
Response to Original message
4. Never try to teach a pig to whistle....
...it wastes your time and annoys the pig...
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senseandsensibility Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 12:11 PM
Response to Reply #4
20. eggggzactly!!!
LOL And this particlular "pig" is annoyed very easily.
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Nicholas D Wolfwood Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 12:00 PM
Response to Original message
5. As a public figure, the standard for libel is almost impossible to meet.
Edited on Wed Jul-20-05 12:01 PM by Vash the Stampede
Kerry would likely have not won any such lawsuit, nor would he have the time or resources to wage that war during a national election in which your resources are already being dwarfed by your opponent.

You definitely have my sympathy though - bastard Rethugs cannot be tolerated like that. :hug:
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marions ghost Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 12:05 PM
Original message
yep
no legal redress possible in such a short timeframe, if at all. No precedent.
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sendero Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 06:28 PM
Response to Reply #5
46. Yes...
.... but doing absolutely nothing sends a message. And not a good one.

It does'nt matter that Kerry could most likely not win a libel suit. Forcing those scumbags to defend what the wrote in a court of law would have made great television, and would have laid their claims to rest.

As long as people keep printing anything they want with no fear of even the economic reprisal of having to defend themselves, we'll keep getting these "bill raped hillary" books and really, this shit's gotta stop someday.
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Tommymac Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 09:38 PM
Response to Reply #46
48. Problem is the trial
would not have happened for at least six months...more likley two years. Plus, RWnuts like the uncle would have come up with some other justification not to believe Sen Kerry.

Hang in there...btw how important is this Uncle to you? By holding back, you may be feeding into his illusion that Dems are passive...maybe you should fire back ... I would but that is just me.

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senseandsensibility Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 09:45 PM
Response to Reply #48
49. I'm either gutless or sensitive
I don't know which. I want to respect my hubby's feelings. He is a wonderful, Dennis Kucinich liberal who believes in reason and kindness. I aspire to those sentiments, but I confess, I'm much more negative and judgmental.
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Tommymac Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 10:01 PM
Response to Reply #49
52. Not gutless...or you would not be posting here....
I am sensitive too...I have to overcome it at times...my nature is to live and let live.

Whatever happens, hang in there and know this too shall pass...might want to have a glass or three of wine in the meanwhile....lol.

:toast:
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senseandsensibility Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 10:11 PM
Response to Reply #52
53. The wine is already helping
TommyMac! Thanks for your kind words. :toast:
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PA Democrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 11:39 PM
Response to Reply #49
56. I don't know who to feel more sorry for, you or your husband when he
realizes that his uncle will not budge from his beliefs. I tried the same thing with my RW brother-in-law, but he was only there for a brief 2 hour visit.

BTW, my husband avoided the conversation. He was smart!
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steve2470 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 12:00 PM
Response to Original message
6. Tons o' hugs for you
:hug:
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senseandsensibility Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 12:12 PM
Response to Reply #6
21. Thanks
It helps to know that I am not overreacting, and that others can relate to what I'm feeling. :-)
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rox63 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 12:01 PM
Response to Original message
7. Start drinking heavily
:beer: :toast: :hangover:
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senseandsensibility Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 12:03 PM
Response to Reply #7
11. Started that last night!
:) Makes it kind of hard to hold my tongue though!
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whistle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 12:01 PM
Response to Original message
8. Does the great uncle like cannoli....if he does sneak some toxic
...substance into it and let him have seconds
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ElsewheresDaughter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 12:19 PM
Response to Reply #8
29. Visin...waitress's use it on cheap tippers...it will give him the runs
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lala_rawraw Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 12:01 PM
Response to Original message
9. Simple
He is in your home and while there, he must respect your views and keep his comments and thoughts to himself OR, he can find a hotel.
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getmeouttahere Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 12:04 PM
Response to Reply #9
12. Oh, I like that idea a lot!
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senseandsensibility Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 12:06 PM
Response to Reply #9
16. I think the problem is my hubby
actually believes in the goodness of people and that you can convince people to see the light. He wants to do it. He wants to try, anyway. He is even more liberal than I am, which is difficult, and a much nicer person. I feel guilty telling him not to try to reason with his relative, since he feels that he is doing some good. And maybe he is.
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lala_rawraw Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 09:31 PM
Response to Reply #16
47. Tell hubby to take uncle to hotel
and they can work on goodness therapy there... it is your home too, no?
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Yupster Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 11:05 PM
Response to Reply #16
54. Agree problem is hubby
He needs to stop the political talk for your sake even if he's enjoying himself.

Many families declare political truces during visits. It's not so hard to do.
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Shoeempress Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 12:12 PM
Response to Reply #9
22. Seconded.
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ClusterFreak Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 12:04 PM
Response to Original message
13. Been there, done that
Edited on Wed Jul-20-05 12:05 PM by Chimpys_Last_Stand
When I was much younger, my uncle would visit us a lot, my mom's brother. He was on the right, she on the left. Add a little (or a lot) of alcohol to the mix. It wasn't pretty. :crazy:

Hang in there!
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BrainRants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 12:05 PM
Response to Original message
14. Simple. Have hubby ask him if he why he can't move on?
Does he want to talk about "old news" or current events?

Then bring up Rove/Plame, Downing Street Memo, Iraqi body counts, Cost of the war, Afghanistan Taliban resurgence, Iraq now the central front in the war on terror, etc.

It seems to me they like to use phrases like "that's old news", "take a deep breath", "get over it", "move on", etc. (Note: that really pisses 'em off when you use their words against them)

Use those phrases against him and steer the conversation to the news of today.

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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 12:06 PM
Response to Original message
15. i am so sorry ofr you. i really am
peace, lots of peace in your room. that would become my room. lol lol. only peaking head out here and there. lol

ah, just see the pathetic in him. maybe it wont hurt as much
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senseandsensibility Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 12:14 PM
Response to Reply #15
23. Thanks seabeyond!
From your response, it sounds like you've been there!
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 12:25 PM
Response to Reply #23
35. lol lol lol oh funny you. yup. it is my life. all of my life
every single person in my life for a couple years now. they are all around. i never get away. yup. at least i get all of my house as my peace place. it is just when i step out, or they step in. my home is my refuge, your bedroom is yours

and chocolate. keep chocolate near. yup yup. but then i got on the scale and saw, first time in forever, i gained some weight. really in a bit of shock, except that last button has been a bit of a challenge.
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jean Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 12:10 PM
Response to Original message
18. eek! Wrap a scarf around your head so you salvage some hair out of this
at least!!!

Seriously, I'm sorry you're trapped in your own house. Can you go out and about without the babbling boys? Maybe they'll wear eachother out and wind down by the time you get back. Then, make them go to dinner, or lunch, someplace public where they can't blap at eachother!
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senseandsensibility Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 12:21 PM
Response to Reply #18
31. Somehow you've captured the atmosphere perfectly!
Edited on Wed Jul-20-05 12:22 PM by senseandsensibility
Have you ever been in my house during one of these visits? I will escape shortly.
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jean Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 02:38 PM
Response to Reply #31
40. haha - you did a really good job conveying the scene
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rman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 12:15 PM
Response to Original message
24. Who were advising Kerry at the time?
Would Kerry be inclined to follow advise from his advisers?

It seems most politicians do, and i know the other JFK did at least initially (Bay Of Pigs), much to his regret.
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senseandsensibility Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 12:18 PM
Response to Reply #24
27. Now that's a good question
My understaning is that he was following his advisors' advice. But don't we want our leaders to follow their own guts and brains, especially when the topic is their own honor and reputation?
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rman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 01:09 PM
Response to Reply #27
38. No we wouldn't want our leaders to break with convention or anything
like that. I mean the Dems have been very succesfull so far, why change a winning horse?
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Straight Shooter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 12:17 PM
Response to Original message
25. Some people think it's beneath their dignity to respond to smears.
Ask your hubby's great uncle if he's ever been the target of a vicious rumor? Did he sue? If not, why not?

Ask him if he thinks McCain had an illegitimate black baby, as Rove's whispering campaign claimed. What about Ann Richards being a lesbian, also courtesy of Rove's smear tactics. McCain didn't sue, and there were plenty of witnesses, plus it's common knowledge. Did that make it true? Of course not.

Also, yes indeed, libel is extremely hard to prove. Go to the library and check out a book on law that refers to libel cases. Give it to him and tell him to find out for himself why Kerry didn't sue.

Typical bushie, always wants other people to do his homework for him.
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jane_pippin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 12:18 PM
Response to Original message
26. Oh man, I'm in a similar boat, sort of
My boyfriend's dad is a conservative guy and while we don't often talk politics he does manage to throw in at least a jab or two my way every time we see him (and he supplements those with emails between visits--just got one the other day & am contemplating a DU rant about it). I know it's vastly different than having a right wing relative actually stay with me, but I do know that I would be going just as insane as you are if that ever happened--I mean, I have a hard enough time biting my tounge during a trip out for dinner.

You have my sympathy. Please rant as needed.
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The Night Owl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 12:18 PM
Response to Original message
28. Ask the great uncle the following question...
Edited on Wed Jul-20-05 12:19 PM by The Night Owl
If the Swift Boat Veterans were so believable, then why didn't even his beloved president believe them?

Make sure to provide the great uncle the quote I have in my sig.
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senseandsensibility Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 12:20 PM
Response to Reply #28
30. Good quote, Night Owl!
Thanks!
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Vinca Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 12:22 PM
Response to Original message
32. Buy the great uncle some pretzels . . . BIG ones.
And get yourself a nice bottle of Shiraz.
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senseandsensibility Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 12:23 PM
Response to Reply #32
34. chortle
Thanks, the laughs help.
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libodem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 12:23 PM
Response to Original message
33. this might be a job for tinfoil and duct tape
Edited on Wed Jul-20-05 12:25 PM by libodem
put the tinfoil on your head first and then wrap firmly with duct tape I think it can make it tougher to pull out your hair. I can understand how you might literally go insane. You can't get through to most of those kind of people. Get some ear pugs. Don't listen to them. I really don't have any answers. I'm just glad I'm not in your shoes. I'll share an experience I had yesterday with a stone cold freeper. I work in a Veterans Nursing Home in the most republican state in the nation. An older man came to see someone in the home. An Oliver North POS book was laying on the counter behind my med cart. Someone on nightshift had been looking at it. The guy proudly tells me he worked 9 months with Oli North. You must be very proud I said. And he was. I belong to the President's task force, too he replied. Then he opened up his wallet and showed me a picture of Reagan and him standing together. What a good job you have done serving your country and what an honor to have your picture with a president. He thought so, too. Then he told me he was a fund raiser for his party and that he raked in big bucks for them. You put action behind your ideals, I said. I'm proud of you for your commitment to democracy. While I really couldn't stand his position; I was polite and nice to him. I felt like I got cooties from being near him but he never knew and he left happy.
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senseandsensibility Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 12:27 PM
Response to Reply #33
36. Good for you
You handled it perfectly. What would you have done if he'd started badmouthing Kerry, though? Okday, sorry to bring that up, you did a great job. Your response was classy.
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jean Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 02:46 PM
Response to Reply #33
41. a flat earth society member, up close and in the flesh???
oof da
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RaleighNCDUer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 01:07 PM
Response to Original message
37. Sounds like time to take that vacation to the beach. nt
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Jacobin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 01:24 PM
Response to Original message
39. Try this. It works for me with my RW delusional house guests
It is WAY better than tilting at windmills.

Listen intently to what he says. Start pretending to 'see the light'. Then start agreeing with him. Then go over the top....here are a couple of examples:

1) we should use our entire nuclear arsenal to destroy all muslims in all countries right away.
2) we should invade China after we nuke them and take over what's left of the country (they're communists, after all)
3) we should end all taxation of anyone for anything and use the plunder from other countries we invade for government spending.
4) all liberals, democrats and all non-caucasions should be rounded up and put in detention.
5) next invade Canada, as they are a socialist state on our borders who could influence our culture adversely.
6) insists on the death penalty for all homosexuals, no trials.
7) suggest that Bush be made an emporer and that his family should succeed him in power. until all the minorities and homosexuals are killed or jailed, you can't trust 'democracy'. remind him we are a 'republic'

Hey, its lots of fun.

Try it.

You'll like it.

I'm serious.

:-)
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senseandsensibility Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 03:08 PM
Response to Reply #39
44. Doesn't that just work
on people with a sense of humor or two brain cells to rub together?
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SemperEadem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 02:50 PM
Response to Original message
42. when you uncle compliments you on your roast
tell him you seasonsed his portion with arsenic. :sarcasm:
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dogday Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 02:55 PM
Response to Original message
43. Ask him does he believe in the U. S. Military?
and when The Military issues their metals, do they know what they are doing? Why doesn't anybody question the U. S. about it, they gave them to him. They do a pretty thorough investigation but the right wants to overlook that fact, and pretend he bought them at the dollar store instead of receiving the awards by the U. S. Government.....
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DemReadingDU Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 06:22 PM
Response to Original message
45. Do some errands
You don't need to stay there 24/7. Get out and do some shopping, run some errands. If you have a dog, take it for a long walk. enjoy the time you are there.
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 09:50 PM
Response to Original message
50. Go away. Get out.
I mean it. Go take a drive and stay with friends or relatives until it's over, of just take the opportunity to go somewhere you haven't been before.

You do NOT deserve to be subjected to that crap.

Stand up for yourself, kiddo. If it's making you that miserable, you have EVERY right to absent yourself from the situation.

Redstone
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Ladyhawk Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 09:52 PM
Response to Original message
51. Sucks ass, don't it?
Maybe you could ask your patient hubby to cease and desist, that great uncle is too old and set in his ways, that it's driving you insane.

I can't stand to be near right-wing family when they're spouting off.
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orleans Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 11:31 PM
Response to Original message
55. tell hubby to drop it because no one is gonna turn anyone around
and tell unkie to shut the hell up about this--tell him that you completely disagree, you find his president a criminal, and it simply is not okay to talk this shit in your house. period.

(it's like a bigot who goes on and on, and if you don't tell them that you find what they are saying offensive then they think you are basically condoning their talk and behavior. don't remain silent. let him know how you feel and that he can't talk about it anymore. he probably takes the whole thing in a caviler manner--and possibly doesn't even really give a shit. and if you're anything like me you have a passion on the topic. is he just goading your husband?)
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stevans_41902 Donating Member (199 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 11:52 PM
Response to Reply #55
57. I feel for you - i would want to get as far away as possible, but i
dont think its fair to you that he has to run you out of your home. Is he initiating the political conversations or is it your husband? I would talk w/ your hubby and ask him if he would consider cutting back on the political talk- he may have great intentions, but fools like your RW uncle will never be changed. John Kerry should have sued for libel - that is one of the most rediculous things i have heard in my life. if he HAD sued for libel, the RW would just view it as another oppurtunity to attack him and call him "weak" and say things like "its ok when those evil liberals attack W, but say something about Kerry and he sues." I think Kerry's image would have faced even more attacks if he would have sued. Try not to get too frustrated over everything - good luck :)
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