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A GREAT Letter to show the Freeper in your life

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romantico Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 09:43 AM
Original message
A GREAT Letter to show the Freeper in your life
Dear Red States,

We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, & we're taking the other blue states with us.

In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon,Washington, Minnesota,Wisconsin,Michigan,Illinois, & all the Northeast. We believe the split will be beneficial to the nation, & especially to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly, you get Texas,Oklahoma, & all the slave states. We get stem cell reserach & the best beaches. We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.

We get the statue of liberty. You get Dollywood.
We get intel & microsoft. You get Worldcom.
We get Harvard.You get Ole'Miss.
We get 85 percent of America's venture capital & entrepreneurs. You get Alabama.
We get two-thirds of the tax revenue,you get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice & anti-war, & we're going to want all our citizens from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, & they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, & hope that the WMDs turn up,but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue states in hand,we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple & lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's qulaity wines (you can serve French wines at State dinners) 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all livng redwoods, sequoia's & condors, all the Ivy & Seven Sister Schools, plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech & MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (& their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes,nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all SOuthern Baptist, virtually 100 percent of all televangelist, Rush Limbaugh,Bob Jones University, Clemson & the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood & Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in Red States believe Jonah was actually swalloed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 & 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals than we lefties.

By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.

Peac Out,
Blue States
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ComerPerro Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 09:46 AM
Response to Original message
1. And we're taking the good pot. LMAO
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Shoeempress Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 09:47 AM
Response to Original message
2. LOL. Love it!
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Triana Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 09:48 AM
Response to Original message
3. LOVE IT!
Bookmarked.
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havocmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 09:50 AM
Response to Original message
4. Shit like this does NOT win us friends nor does in influence elections
in a way which is helpful.

Die hard wingers in red states will point out that you do not get much meat or pasta, as wheat and meat tends to be more common in Red States.

Beyond that, this sort of attitude undermines the efforts of Howard Dean who is working VERY hard to promote real understanding about Democrats and their values in the heartland. It also undermines the daily efforts of the many liberals living in Red States who work 24/7/365 to show their neighbors that liberals are decent, caring people who understand the challenges facing more rural areas of the nation. This crap feeds the Rush-istas of talk radio who like to brand liberals as elitist.

This does NOT help America.
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romantico Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 09:52 AM
Response to Reply #4
5. Yeah, but once we
have researched stem cells how long before the Red states want us to help them fight off THEIR disease? Or enjoy a good movie? Or share our French Wine or drink our clean water?
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havocmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 10:07 AM
Response to Reply #5
8. Gee, I thought we were the party of broadminded problem solvers
And here, I find more of the sterotypical carp Rush likes to brand us with....

Thanks for all the help winning friends and influencing elections for the better... NOT.

Oh, and I ran into lots of narrow minded wingers when I lived in California and met lots of them from the east coast areas around Boston and New York.

People, there are no RED and BLUE states. Every state has a mix of voters and we win by working on getting a good message across in ALL states. How the hell does being smart ass area bigots help the loberal cause?
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kestrel91316 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 10:01 AM
Response to Reply #4
6. Gosh, did somebody take a CRABBY PILL today??
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havocmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 10:02 AM
Response to Reply #6
7. No, this sort of divisive crap makes me crabby
Did somebody take a stupid or insenstive pill today?
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kestrel91316 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 10:25 PM
Response to Reply #7
11. Some of us appreciate a little humor once in a while.......
since the world has become such an awful mess.
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BiggJawn Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 10:31 PM
Response to Reply #11
13. I like humour too..Where is it?
All I see is a bigotted rant along the lines of those "let's round up all the brown people who don't love Jeebus and ship 'em back to Eye-Rack" FReeper-grams we bitch about getting from out FAUX nooz-lovin' relations.

YOU think it's funny? Then come-onna my state and see how much like the east or west coast it AIN'T...

Sure hope you don't like popcorn, cuz we got it ALL and we ain't sharing. Not until you turn loose of some of that good dope first....
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blue northern Donating Member (190 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 10:39 PM
Response to Reply #7
14. When did this Red State/Blue State distinction start.?
I've followed North American politics for awhile, but I can only recall hearing these particular distinctions made in the past several years.
It seems divisive and counterproductive to me, and as a Canuck a little puzzling too.
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zbdent Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 10:25 AM
Response to Original message
9. Bye-bye Wall Street!
Ooops, that's in a blue state.

Imagine if all the blue areas of the US decided to keep all the taxes that they generate FOR THEMSELVES. The red areas would go belly up quickly. No more "revenue-sharing" for the people who work in the cities but live in the 'burbs.
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BiggJawn Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-21-05 11:39 PM
Response to Reply #9
15. Keep your tax money.
We'll keep all the food.
Hope you Blues can find enough rats roaming the back alleys of your sainted Urban paradises to keep you going.
Can't live on spend-yer-bucks "coffee" alnoe, y'know.

" No more "revenue-sharing" for the people who work in the cities but live in the 'burbs."

Tell me, just how many people who work in Wall Street actually LIVE in Manhattan? Don't most of them take the train to their estates in The Hamptons, or Longuyland?
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Patty Diana Donating Member (555 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 10:41 AM
Response to Original message
10. These Red Necks are Way TOO IGNORANT to be reasoned with
THE BIBLE BELT JEBUS FREAKS DESCRIPTION TELL YOU ANYTHING. They are the most narrow minded people on the face of this earth__they're treating the Blue States like they won the Civil War____I say fuck em all!! Only God knows if they'll ever see the light. Besides with the red states gone, we can once and forever get rid of the stinking electoral college.
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senseandsensibility Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-20-05 10:30 PM
Response to Original message
12. 85% of the venture capital and two thirds of the tax revenue!
I love those statistics!
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