Advice needed: how would I infiltrate Walmart?

[Chomskyite]

I graduated Friday with my Ph.D. in American Lit. I'm applying for as many teaching jobs as I can afford to, but of course such jobs do not start until late August. In the meantime I'll need to find a way to keep the wolf from my door during the summer. Here's my idea. You're going to think I'm crazy.

I'd like to infiltrate Walmart. I've always wanted to write a novel in which a central character worked there and of course for writers there is no substitute for direct experience. I have read Barbara Ehrenreich's great book Nickel and Dimed. She somehow shucks off her Ph.D. credentials as she applies for the menial jobs she wants to write about. But there are few details about how she pulls this off.

How do you apply for a job, include the needed references, account for your whereabouts and your employers for the past five years or more and NOT have employers find out you were an English teacher for 9 years and that you have a Ph.D? I've applied for dozens and dozens of bartending jobs, being truthful throughout about my past. No phone calls. One interview, but all we talked about was my Ph.D. and where I want to teach and how likely it would be I would remain a bartender if some English department decided to give me a chance.

How do I apply for a Walmart job as someone else, and not have Walmart detect me? How do I provide the references? Do I set them up among friends who will lie for me? Do I pretend to be much younger? What would you do?

And for good measure, sign up here to join my campaign to learn the facts about what Walmart is doing and how to improve the living conditions for their workers.

[Carolab]

1. I'd try to find some Walmart workers who want to talk.

Anonymously, of course. I don't think I could bear to actually work there, in spite of these ulterior motives. Plus, it seems like a lot of trouble to go incognito this way.

[Kire]

2. get a good therapist first

and take notes every chance you can, write about how you feel, especially how stupid you feel for even attempting this right out of college...and read a lot of sociology books, like Jonathan Kozol

[Cleita]

3. Well, I always told them I was living somewhere in

a foreign land when I had to make up for lost time. Missionary work always sounds good.

[R. A. Fuqua]

4. I would just apply as myself--

it is not a good idea to lie on a job application--it can cause problems for you even if your "real career" later--you don't ever want people to question you integrity.

I would just tell them that although you have all this education, that you cannot find a good job (due to the BUSH economy) and that you have been reduced to looking at Walmart. Mention the bartending gigs etc--and indicate that employment with your degree is hard to find.

Don't worry--if they hire you, they will soon forget about your degrees (tell the manager not to call you Dr.). They will quickly treat you disrespectfully--maybe even quicker than usual--because some of them will resent your education (don't tell anyone about it except the manager if you can help it).

I have known several PhD's who had to work at menial jobs (gas stations, cab drivers, etc.) it happens--and managers know that.

But--I would be honest about my background--sometimes dishonesty can cause problems in ways you would never expect.

[R. A. Fuqua]

5. BTW, I don't think that

you even CAN lie about things like your age--if they hire you, they are going to run a check on your social security number etc to make sure that the basic information about you matches up and that you are OK to work in this country.

[WLKjr]

6. You didn't hear this from me

but they are cutting hours heavily right now and from what I was told they are on a company wide hiring freeze.


geez how would a guy with almost an A.D. in Computer Network Systems know this........

[R. A. Fuqua]

7. what is an

A.D.?

Please excuse my ignorance...

[WLKjr]

9. Associates Degree in Applied Science

[R. A. Fuqua]

11. Thanks!

I don't know how that one looked so unfamilar to me! I am just not thinking fast tonight...

[MADem]

8. How did Barbara do it? (Maybe you could call her and ask?)

How carefully do they check? Could you have a relative with their own business (or a friend who answers the phone carefully) fake a reference for you, without admitting they are a relative? E.g.: "Sure, Shirley worked here for nine years, she was a great little worker--answered the phone, kept the coffee hot, always on time. She typed the invoices, added up the timesheets, remembered the birthdays of the crew, and cleaned the office, neat as a pin, that gal. Then we finally got off our asses and got one a them computers, and that was a bit much for her, so she up and quit--just couldn't handle all the bells and whistles, felt bad about it too....gave us plenty of notice though...fine gal, that Shirley! I'd be willing to buy one a them video perfessers and have her learn it an' come back with us, but ole Shirl said it was time fer a change!"

Make sure you have a copy (and the original) of your high school diploma with you, and handle it like it IS that Ph.D. Leave the rest of your education off the form. What's the worst that could happen, ya don't get hired? Or fired for being too smart?

If you really want to get serious, you could get yourself some of those awful teeth, but then you'd have to wear them all the time!

As for clothes, demeanor, and so on, find someone who looks like what you are going for in terms of appearance, and imitate...

Hell, they don't even check the validity of the green cards of the inventory guys they use, I think you just have to have one person do the fakeout for a phone reference, and yer in like Flynn...

[R. A. Fuqua]

10. lying on a job application

is a criminal offense. A job application is an official legal document--you sign it and certify that you put the truth on it.

And--if you go into the experience planning to "tell all" in a book--you definitely do not want Walmart to have grounds to sue you some time in the future.

Walmart has deep pockets and a herd of sharp corporate attorneys on the payroll. When your book comes out (if it is indeed a hard hitting expose) they will be looking to bring you down in anyway that they can). You do NOT want to give them the ammunition to do so. And--of course it would be lies that would be documented in writing--with your signature afixed etc--very very easy to prove if they took you to court.

My advise: Don't fake job references and a work history if you are planning to write a tell-all book about your job experience.

[Chomskyite]

15. But what about being selectively unrevealing . . .

. . . about my time as a teacher and the degrees attained? Would failure to own up to this "baggage" be grounds for legal trouble?

[R. A. Fuqua]

16. you could probably get away with it--

IF you did not plan on writing an expose.

Let's imagine that your expose hits the best seller list--and you are suddenly the guest of honor on every TV talk show in America (OK that is a great scenario--and it could happen!).

In that case--they are going to go through the record with a fine tooth comb--and they will use anything that they have to discredit you. If you are publicly discredited as being dishonest--a university will dump you (even if you already have tenure).

Be careful--protect your integrity--because if you do become very successful with your writing (which is really what you ultimately want) you do not want them to have a hammer that they can bring down on your head.

If you were not planning on writing an expose--you probably could get away with a little deception. I know that many people lie on apps and get away with it--usually it is the reverse of your situation--they embellish their education and achievements instead of downplaying them.

Regardless--because of what you plan--I think the best course is to be honest about your background. I am rooting for you so successfully infiltrate and write a book that will make us all proud of you!!!

Congratulations on the degree!

BTW, my friend with a PhD who worked in a Shell service station for a while after graduation (11 months) told them the following story (pretty much true)--that she was nearly a hundred thousand dollars in debt for her degree, that many of the good companies in her field were not hiring at the moment--and that she was desperate for a job. She told them that all she wanted was a paycheck so that she could support herself, pay her bills, and not have to suffer the indignity of moving back in with her parents. She told them that she was willing to do whatever they asked--that if they told her to clean the toilets or sweep the floor--that she would do whatever needed to be done without question. (that was big--because some people think a PhD will be too "hoity-toighty" to do menial tasks. She was interviewed for 5 menial jobs--and was offered a position at 4 out of 5. Now she is a professor and has an endowed chair at a very prestigious university in Pennsylvania. So--it can be done. (BTW, the university she is at thought she was a real hustler for being willing to work at a gas station between academic positions. She is however, one of those fortunate people who can put a positive spin on any experience--I guess we all need to do a little bit of that).

Good luck to you--I am already excited about reading your expose!

[MADem]

17. What lies? You OMIT information, like advanced degrees

You provide a reference. That reference can be anyone, say you cleaned a friend's house once, and they tell the caller you are a great housecleaner, best ever, very reliable. Been doing it for years!!!

And WalMart is a private company, not a government agency. What are they gonna do? Not hire you? They'd have to take you to court to try to get money out of you, and that would cost THEM money.

And did not the poster say she was intending to write, not a "hardhitting expose," but a NOVEL??? Why yes, she did! I'd like to infiltrate Walmart. I've always wanted to write a novel in which a central character worked there and of course for writers there is no substitute for direct experience.

If she gets a good publisher, her editor will review any issues with her, and they have lawyers too. Barbara didn't seem to be deterred when she wrote NICKLE AND DIMED.

WalMart is NOT the government....yet, anyway. Sheesh!!!! No guts, no glory...

[R. A. Fuqua]

18. the whole point of the

application is so that they know what you have been doing (usually for the last ten years).

You are right though--for some reason I thought it would be an expose---I guess that I got overly excited (and hopeful--because there SHOULD be an expose on Walmart).

Hmmm---my brother publishes novels and a column--his publisher would not touch him if he did something like this...but he does work for one of the best in the business.

Perhaps the OP will be able to find a publisher willing to go toe to toe with Walmart for him if neccesary.

[MADem]

20. The only thing WalMart gets nervous about is CRIMINALS

Include that speeding and parking ticket, because they probably will check your criminal background: http://www.infolinkscreening.com/InfoLink/Resources/Articles/Bosses_peek_into_jobseekers_pasts.aspx

Employers tend to get mad if you inflate your job or educational history, but I doubt deflating it will be an issue. And if so, oh well, there's always K MART!

[demwing]

12. If you want to make up for lost time

tell them you went to school to become a writer, and after several years you had to face facts and work in the real world. Then mention: "WalMart sounds like such a fun, family-friendly environment, where a person can be rewarded based on the quality of their hardwork."

That should end that line of questioning

[pnorman]

13. With considerable caution and pre-planning.

Walmart spends a fortune on "internal" Homeland Security, to keep their beloved empire a "union-free workplace". You'd be just the sort of person they'd be looking for. Perhaps someone from the labor movement can give you some advice or support. My own first thought was Jobs with Justice (http://www.jwj.org/). Here in Seattle, they'e very effective; and well beyond their numbers. They're the core of dedicated unionsts in the community. Likewise with many other areas.

I like your webpage and will be checking it frequently, and using some of the information. Good luck, my thoughts are with you.

pnorman

[EFerrari]

14. A few pointers.

Forget anyone ever cared about your opinion. That will give you away everytime :) (Berkeley, English, 1994)

Then, it's about what they need: they need to hire someone who will work for next to nothing, work sh*tty hours and smile.

So, you, my friend need a narrative. "I went to school on a schoolarship but need to XXXX now." (pay your mortgage, support your parents, some long term goal). Don't lie, don't elaborate. It's not really important to them. You got some schooling and taught a little but now you need a job. See next item.

Be more interested in them than they are in you. More Frost than Stevens, lol.

on edit: CONGRATULATIONSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :party:

[Historic NY]

19. Become a Walmart greeter......get to see a lot more.....

and observe the patrons. Should make for some interesting research.

[gumby]

21. Check out Barbara Enrenreich

http://tinyurl.com/cp2ej (google link)

She's been to Wally World and beyond and writes about it. Not pretty.

[Hello_Kitty]

22. Tell them you were a stay-at-home dad

Invent some kids if you don't have any. It's not like you'd get benefits for them anyway. Your wife supported the family but you recently got divorced and she got full custody and moved out of state. Offer to provide personal references if they want but chances are they won't bother. I know people who have worked there and they went through a very quick interview and started immediately from what I gathered.

[KG]

23. they won't care about your quaifications

just tell you can't find work in your field. they won't care. trust me on this.

the store managers are only somewhat smarter than the avg employee. they just want warm bodies, esp. if you're willing to start out on the overnight crew unloading trucks and stocking shelves.

edit to add - there isn't much drama going on at a wal-mart. the work is brain numbling-ly boring and most of the workers are simple folk just killing time till they die.

[B Calm]

24. Apply for a Walmart managment position and really learn the in's

and out's on how to screw over the hourly worker.

[phylny]

25. There's already a story where the main character works at Walmart:

Where the Heart Is by Billie Letts

http://tinyurl.com/af7au

[THUNDER HANDS]

26. I've worked at Wal-Mart for 5 months now...what do you want to know?

I'm part-time, I work just about 28 hours a week, but I really haven't seen much to write a book about. PM me if you have any questions.