"Our President will go down in history as The Horse Masturbator"

[ruggerson]

"Our President will go down in history as The Horse Masturbator, thanks to his mouthy wife."

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1396068/posts?...

Freepers in a frenzy over Laura's "pornographic" standup routine.

[karlrschneider]

1. Iff he'd been playing a New York cop...he'd jump on his whistle and

blow his horse...

[Tigress DEM]

54. ROFL!

[sasquatch]

2. NO...Your "Great" president will go down as thief and a war criminal

[deacon]

70. Thief and a war criminal AND Horse Mastubator :)))

[Tesla]

103. Maybe it was a donkey!!! hahaha

Wouldn't that be ironic??

[AuntiBush]

95. I'll Second that! And while I'm at it..

On a serious note, a "thief and war criminal," is right!

[chalky]

3. "I was disappointed in the classlessness of the act. Too Clintonesque"

Huh?
I don't remember bestiality being part of Clinton's legacy.

[Tigress DEM]

57. Yeah, Hilary "Stood By Her Man" like she was a country song...

and had the brains to understand that when in deep doo-doo, keep your mouth shut as much as possible.

A lot of people that didn't like Hilary a lot couldn't help but respect her for her strength and class during an awful time in her life that was way too public for most people to have handled.

Supposedly Laura is a nice woman, I don't know or care one way or the other. But if her "routine" was Clintonesque, than they must have been talking about how Leno and Letterman and everyone in the country felt at liberty to take pot shots at Clinton for making some really dumb ass decisions and getting caught (again) cheating on Hilary.

Because Laura critiquing her hubby to take the sting out of people calling him names doesn't hold a candle to the way Hilary dealt with her situation.

I've said it before and I will say it again. "Clinton was unfaithful to Hillary and got blow jobs in the Oval Office." "Bush is unfaithful to the Nation and is screwing the World." Who is the bigger menace to society? Hands down, chimpy and his performing circus.

[yankeedem]

4. Magalagang is criticizing the boyfriend murderer

What will the children think! Laura has no class, like her husband, and raised two alcoholic kids with less class.

[earth mom]

64. Exactly-it's no surprise that the twins are as crass and crude as they are

they get it from their parents. Now the whole world knows it too.

And I find THAT to be as funny as hell! Bwahahahahahahhahaha!

[LittleClarkie]

5. What are they crying about?

He wanted a legacy, didn't he? Now he has one. Enjoy.

[ruggerson]

8. I like the "Great Equine Fellater" myself n/t

[LittleClarkie]

9. I just looked at that Freeper thread

Interesting. One of them is upset about the Taliban Right hyjacking Free Republic. I didn't know some of them could see it too.

Cool.

[ruggerson]

10. Yep. This latest surge in "faith based" activity

starting with the Schiavo thing has run a very deep wedge/crevice right through the party of evil.

[yankeedem]

12. Even freepers don't like being preached at

Too bad they couldn't have gotten "religion" six months ago and stayed home.

[proud2BlibKansan]

17. Here's an interesting Malkin quote I found on that thread

"Lighten up?" How about cleaning up? The First Lady resorting to cheap horse masturbation jokes is not much better than Whoopi Goldberg trafficking in dumb puns on the Bush family name. Unlike many Beltway and Manhattan commentators, I do not think the Wonkette-ization of the White House is a good thing."~~M. Malkin

[question everything]

59. If Malkin was offended, this means that it was good n/t

[chicagiana]

90. Different standards ....

Whoopi Golberg is a COMEDIAN. She's supposed to traffic in crude, humorous reference. The president and his entourage is supposed to be DIGNIFIED. At least thats what the freepers told us when Clinton was playing the sax and offered up that he wears boxer briefs.

[bleever]

28. And then they start fighting about it.

But it's hard to tell, because that site is designed so poorly.

[Tigress DEM]

62. If they aren't all feeling superior to someone else together....

I suppose they don't have much in common and the whole notion of being able to have freedom to voice an opinion that contradicts the party line.... well you have to know they pretty much will get on someone for that.

I guess we are the same here about the things we really believe in, but mostly we are arguing the reverse... to allow people to have their opinion, but not push it in someone else's face out of respect for Democratic principals.

If the religious right can't stand there and say we obey this rule and that one and those who break the rules are punished, then they seem to feel lost.

Having to think for yourself is a skill best honed in childhood by disagreeing first with your parents and then other trust worthy authority figures so you get some idea that it is safe to have an opinion. It's the reason most parents let their teenagers live, we know it's part of the learning process to become your own person.

I feel sad that I've known a lot of really good people who have had their own opinions trounced out of them to one degree or another by well meaning parents.

It's my perception that it happens that way a lot in right wing households even if all the pressure is subtle and not the Jesus as a substitute for crack kind of mentality.

Lots of parents in fundie religions really believe their kids will go to Hell if they don't follow all the rules. So it's the "I'm doing this because I love you kind of thing," and that really messes with people's minds.

[ComerPerro]

105. Fantastic Post

[Tigress DEM]

112. Thanks.

Your logon name! Not really?? Usted comer perritos? Los estaban miso de el pollo o el vaca? It must be some mistake, like burritos. No one in Mexico eats baby burros, but Americans, estamos locos, eh?

[ComerPerro]

117. No, not a mistake. However

we Americans do enjoy our baby burros.

As a side note, I do tend to prefer beef and chicken. Pork too.

[lonestarnot]

26. Whip it...whip it good!

[Swamp Rat]

68. Crack that whip!

[rzemanfl]

6. Can we send them the pictures of "Jenna's" coochie and really

freak them?

[pretzel4gore]

18. here it is here

http://www.uselessjunk.com/modules.php?name=News&file=a...

some say it aint jenna, but ...

[ruggerson]

23. the endless things one could make of "shaved bush" n/t

[dutchdoctor]

82. Has W been clearing brush again? n/t

[chalky]

38. Some say it ain't Jenna?

The face is certainly hers. What body part are they going by?

[ContraBass Black]

78. Probably the breats.n/t

[mitchum]

42. It's not Jenna (her pubic hair isn't shaved in a swastika design)

[Tigress DEM]

65. Seriously, though, big deal.

Her shaved little coochie isn't getting any soldiers killed.

Her mother's stupid little jokes aren't fooling anyone.

Her father is still more of a terrorist than a pResident and this all takes away from real news.

Sorry.

The memorial to reporters killed was updated with 70+ names and states 25 killed in Iraq this year, but the number since the war started is much higher. I was on another thread and went to Reporters Without Boarders to get the names and numbers.

Vote Fraud is still going to be a problem in 2006/2008 if we can't get massive reform and no one really knows it happened! I'm sick to DEATH of no truth in Mainstream Media and if I want to do something about it, I have to become the organizer of the Fight Big Media group and pay a fee for the privilege of volunteering.

I want my country back!!

I want to be safe to live in ignorance again even if only for a week or two without feeling the world is getting so much more fucked up every day.

Know what I mean?

[dave502d]

7. When he's done,that will be one of the good things he did. n/t

[GiovanniC]

14. At Least Masturbating a Horse Doesn't Hurt Anybody

And maybe the horse liked it.

I loved Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert's "midnight version" of Laura's routine though.

Also, you can see some of Stewart's treatment if you go to http://www.comedycentral.com / and click on "Look Who's Talking" on the "WHAT'S NEW" section down on the right hand side. It's well worth a view.

[lonestarnot]

32. Eeeee gads, what about the poor fucking horse? n/t

[GiovanniC]

51. Maybe the Horse Was Asking For It

You know, maybe it dressed provacatively. Maybe it came on to George. You don't know.

In any event, I think we can all agree that a horse is a far more dignified animal for a Republican to fuck than, say, a dog or -- God forbid -- a box turtle.

[vanboggie]

66. or a Bulldog, LOL n/t

[chicagiana]

91. Yeah they shaved it's head ...

... and branded it with the word "GUCKERT ... hearts"

[Zynx]

84. He probably liked it

[question everything]

36. Did she really say that part that Steven Colbert "recorded"

at midnight? With all the bleeping?

[GiovanniC]

50. No Way

But it was funny anyhow.

[WI_DEM]

11. Well Laura finally exposed the family secrets (some of them)

Ma Barker runs the family like a mafia chieftan, Bush gets his sexual kicks playing with horse dicks, and poor Laura herself is a "desperate housewife" whose horse loving hubby is fast asleep instead of satisfying her--she probably lusts after Raoul, the muscled hunk who cleans the WH pool.

[Generic Other]

44. What a frightening picture

of domestic bliss!

[kliljedahl]

13. Inspired from a Malkin "article"

There's credibility for you.


Keith’s Barbeque Central

[BringEmOn]

15. It's gonna take me a while to fill this bucket

[NightOwwl]

110. I'm a day late, but...

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

[Straight Shooter]

16. "His mouthy wife." Oh, my, someone put that woman in her place.

bush has been jerking off people and animals since he was a toddler. What's their problem all of a sudden?

edit:

[bleever]

29. LOL. Call a woman "mouthy" and she breaks down in tears, right?

That "cut" really caught my attention too.

[goodboy]

19. Isn't that a Robert Redford movie? (nt)

[Nomad559]

20. Tom Green - Horse Masturbator

http://www.zippyvideos.com/31050773227955.html

[tridim]

39. This is almost too scary (bushwhack.wmv)

But for what it's worth.. Here's my quick video manipulation of that Tom Green clip.

http://home.comcast.net/~tridim/bushwhack.wmv

[ConsAreLiars]

67. First good laugh in a while...

So, is that short masterpiece public domain? Can I put it on a filesharer? Do you want to put any copyright info into it first?

[chicagiana]

93. I guess now we know ...

...

Now we know why Barney always runs away!!!!!

[tridim]

97. No copyright/credit needed

All I did was paste *'s monkey face on the clip. Spread it throughout the world. Just try to avoid linking to the original file location. Thx.

[mtnsnake]

21. "I did not have sex with that horse!"

George, I hate to tell you, but you DID have sexual relations with that horse. Beating off that horse is one thing, but lying to the American people about it is an impeachable offense!

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

22. LOL!

Better he should be wanking horses than doing what he mostly does, which is buggering the American people.

[Octafish]

24. 'Your horse has a pretty face. Much prettier than my horse.'

On an official visit to Canada, Smirko approached a strange man and said: "You've got a pretty face."

Bush prefers Martin spokesman to his own

by Jane Taber, Globe and Mail

Ottawa — This is the tale of the two Scotts — one American, the other Canadian. One is dark-haired, the other blond. Both are 35 and both work for the most powerful men in their respective countries.

SNIP...

“Well, what do you do for this guy?” the President asked as he pointed to the Prime Minister.

“Well, you know, sir, I can't really say,” Mr. Reid said. “It's not that I don't want to. It's just that, you know, I don't really know from day to day.”

This is true. Mr. Reid handles a number of files and performs a number of different duties, depending on the issue and the day.

The President chuckled. “Well, you got a pretty face,” he told the surprised Mr. Reid. He wasn't done. “You got a pretty face,” he said again. “You're a good-looking guy. Better looking than my Scott anyway.”

CONTINUED...

http://paulmartintime.ca/mediacoverage/000149.html

[Bluebear]

46. THAT is funny!

[meganmonkey]

25. OMG. Nominated

[David Zephyr]

27. Actually, Bush is afraid of horses and won't go near one.

It's a fact.

[Zerex71]

30. I just hope he goes down, period.

[deadparrot]

31. LMAO. I'm surprised they even got it. nt

[Hatalles]

33. I disagree.

George W. Bush will forever be remembered as the "worst president in the history of the United States" and his two terms will be seen as the "closest this country ever came to fascism."

[Nothing Without Hope]

35. I hope you're right, because if we get any CLOSER to fascism, it's going

to be hard to tell them apart.

[Nothing Without Hope]

34. I actually suspect that Laura was so clueless that she didn't even think

of the horse cock angle. I'm betting she was just thinking: a male horse would be even harder to get milk from than a female horse. The joke was supposed to be a clean one in which George knew so little about ranching when they bought the one in Crawford that he couldn't tell the difference between a horse and a cow and between a male horse and a female horse. Tee-hee, get it? But some of us listeners get a lot more than she intended, I'm thinking.

So I think it shows her cluenessless rather than being an intentional dirty joke. After all, she probably doesn't have many reminders of what a cock is. Sort of a June Cleaver wanna be.

[NYCGirl]

37. Oh, please. They're a bad president and first lady, not simple-minded.

Don't portray either of them as Chauncy Gardner. That makes them unaccountable for their actions.

She knew exactly what that was about. She rehearsed the routine with the writer for three days.

[Stephanie]

48. Does anyone know the names of the writers?

I'd really like to know. Are they on staff or free-lance?

[question everything]

61. Schwarzenegger's speechwriter Landon Parvin

Credit for the First Lady's zingers went to California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger's speechwriter Landon Parvin, a White House ringer who adds pizzazz to the President's annual media dinner addresses. But Parvin also flopped last year with jokes about Bush looking under his desk for Iraq's weapons of mass destruction.

http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/305720p-261591c....

[Andromeda]

71. Not any more...

they were last seen hitching a ride to Canada.

[sonicx]

45. i don't think so...

<<he couldn't tell the difference between a horse and a cow and between a male horse and a female horse.>>

Yes, and the extra 'part' that the male horse has is the point of the joke. The only thing a male horse has down where the cow utter would be is a penis. Ask most people over the age of 13 what they thought the joke meant and they will easily get it.

[Nothing Without Hope]

47. Yes, we all got it immediately, but I am wondering if Pickles is such

a Stepford Wife that she assumed it would be taken "innocently." Why, she's a LADY, after all, the horse pictures she sees don't show that kind of thing! I'm interpreting this incident as showing her cluelessness and isolation from reality.

Maybe I'm wrong and she really did intentionally picture the blivet** trying to make a stallion happy, but I just can't see it, myself. She lives in a Barbie world, and that zone of the anatomy is just smooth plastic, even in horses, didn't you know? If you think about it, it's even creepier than the image of the blivet** with the horse (animals which he fears, by the way, which is one reason why it's only a PSEUDO-ranch).

ed:typos

[sonicx]

55. I don't think most people, even people like her, are that niave about...

dick jokes. My mom's a pretty 'clean' person and she got the joke.

[Nothing Without Hope]

75. This is a very old country vs. city joke, one used in mixed company

This is an old, old stand-by joke - the city slicker who can't tell the diff between a cow and a horse, and then can't even tell the horse is a male. It's a classic in areas where there are farms and ranches. Just as city people ridicule country folk as hicks, those country folk have their own ridicule for the ignorant city folk. This is an iconic joke. Where Pickles got into trouble is that she didn't think about the fact that she was addressing both country and city folk all over the country. That included a lot of people who didn't havae the background to understand the point she was trying to make with this ancient joke.

In the South, in those old mixed-company jokes, the "naughty" interpretation was deliberately ignored if it was told in mixed company. It's part of the code of the Southern Lady. Traditionally, they can be salty indeed when with other women, but not in mixed, public, polite company. I am as sure as I can be that Pickles was shocked & mortified to hear that her old city/farm joke was taken as referring to masturbating a horse.

It's funny, but not worth all this attention. The most newsworthy parts of this story in my opinion are (a) that Pickles was used to try to humanize her husband by cracking some jokes, and that (b) Ms. Malkin - usually a neocon enabler - did not give Pickles the benefit of the doubt on the horse joke.

[question everything]

60. Agree. This was my impression when I first heard her on Daily Show

[HEIL PRESIDENT GOD]

40. chalk one more up

to animal husbandry

[mitchum]

41. Typical freeper wishful thinking that their beloved criminal will...

be remembered for any kind of selfless act.
Unless it was a Saudi Arabian horse, of course.

[many a good man]

43. One can only wonder...

what other poor animals the psycho has done this to...

[TahitiNut]

49. It's merely a reach-around for a horse's ass like "W"anker..

[Tigress DEM]

52. They probably never saw Tim Allen in for Richer or Poorer...

where he played a real estate hustler and his wife (played by Kristie Allie) hid out from the IRS among the Amish.

There is a riotous scene where Tim's character decides to go milk the cow and mistakes a bull for the cow, but comes back with a pail full of white stuff anyway and for the rest of the movie the love struck bull waltzes behind Tim hoping to be "milked" again.

[Tigress DEM]

53. Duplicate

[Wizard777]

56. He should be so lucky! n/t

[moondust]

58. Someone please restore some dignity to the White House.

[walldude]

63. I'm pretty sure there's a law in Texas

that says you're not allowed to have an ass touching a dick... Maybe we can have him arrested.

[deacon]

69. Hey all he did was try to milk a male horse--whats so funny about that?

)))

[DulceDecorum]

116. Why do they call Dubya a cowboy?

Apparenty he is just a Texan who can't tell a horse from a cow.

To: texas_mrs
The horse joke was about not being able to tell the difference between a HORSE and a COW, not an udder and a penis.

I began this thread being surprised that people are offended at the jokes, but now I am utterly amazed that the milking the horse joke got morphed into horse masturbation. And by the very same people who are offended. Maybe I'm just a city slicker so I didn't think about it beyond what you said, that is, not being able to tell the difference between a horse and cow. But there's an awfully huge difference between milking a horse by mistake and masturbating a horse. To take that joke and run it to the extreme of masturbating a horse, and then take great offense at the First Lady for telling a joke about sex with farm animals is astounding. Makes me wonder where those people's minds are.
123 posted on 05/03/2005 2:56:20 PM PDT by Dahoser
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1396068/posts?...

[enki23]

72. our job, now, is to make that happen

it's a *great* image. never let them forget it.

[deacon]

73. Her husband, The Horse Fondlerererer lol n/t

[Pachamama]

74. This disgusting joke just proves that you can be rich & powerful and have

ABSOLUTELY NO CLASS WHAT SO EVER!

The Bush family have zero class....the idea that the wife of the President would make a tasteless joke of her husband yanking on the penis of a horse made my mouth drop in shock....The fact that she would even agree to say that statement confirms these people have no clue how to lead by example and are just plain trash...

[Solly Mack]

76. XXXBush Milks a StudXXX

[kodi]

77. just shows that the whole damn family has no class.

bush, his wife, and those creepy kids

[rodeodance]

79. The Christ. Right was critical of the 'desperate housewife" joke but I

have not seen them comment on this joke. Has anyone?

[tk2kewl]

80. At least Clinton's transgressions were with a member of our own species

nt

[NYCGirl]

81. You're saying Clinton's transgressions were made-up by a comedy writer?

Hardly an apt comparison. I hope you're joking.

[Sparkle]

83. LOL!

I think this Palladin may be a DUmmy. No real FWeeper would say such a thing! haha!

[H2O Man]

85. "A Man Called Horse"

takes on new meaning.

[OmmmSweetOmmm]

86. Did anyone else think about Catherine the Great when they heard

Laura tell this joke?

[warrens]

87. This is not good news for BartCop

The poor guy has been calling Paul Harvey The Horse Molester for years now. But there's a new Horse Molester in town.

It makes me so happy to see the FRetards crying.

[City of Mills]

88. Damn Paparazzi!

For those who missed it yesterday:

[chicagiana]

89. The first homo-bestial president ...

... Barnyard Action anyone????

[progressivebydesign]

92. Why is everyone getting their panties in a wad over this?

She meant that he couldn't tell the difference between a cow and a horse. I'm wondering about the minds of both the left and the right on this.. she meant it as he couldn't tell the difference between the two animals. I can't believe I'm sticking up for Laura Bush.

I"m all for joking about the Bush family, and robot Laura, and the other wacky right wingers.. but I can't understand why everyone is is a tizz over this.

[underpants]

94. They are being directed to be upset about the "tawdry" aspect of it

Not the Elephant in the room-He is from Elite New England stock and is NOT a cowboy, never was. They bought a lie and they are being steered to turn their anger on Laura (and the LIBERALS in the audience she geared the jokes toward) not at the fact that W is nothing that they thought he was.

[AuntiBush]

96. On Note: Looks like there is "TROUBLE" in Paradise

Hey Freepers: "Welcome to our Nightmare!"

[Jimbo S]

98. It's hard work

stroking horse cock.

[warrens]

99. Hilarious, now they're trying to say she didn't mean he masturbated it

Yeah, that's why she said "A MALE HORSE"

God, they're such clueless little pinhead.

[OxQQme]

100. I wonder if

the horse would have preferred being a 'top'

[raysr]

101. probably

sucked it too!

[Writer]

102. They're like "Alabama Man"

I thought I told you to shut up... Laura!

Hehe.

[ComerPerro]

104. I wasn't planning on using that nickname... Until now!

Thanks Freepers! That's a good one!

Great Idea!

[KansDem]

106. Since when did Jeff Gannon get the nickname "Horse?"

I thought he was the "Bulldog" or some such nonsense...

[Ilsa]

107. The Freepers are Wrong. Bush will go down in history as a murderous,

ignorant, greedy, delusional, narcissistic thug. Or maybe the Anti-Christ.

[RetroLounge]

108. I thought Laura went down on the horse?

RL

[NightOwwl]

109. Say it Loud and Proud!

George Bush, Horse Masturbator Extraordinaire!

[amazona]

111. how is that worse than victor ashe masturbator?

At least the horse won't demand an ambassadorship to some European vacation spot.

Look, the lady is tired of not getting laid. I've heard the rumors about Georgy Boy passing out at 9 or 9:30 for years! I don't blame her for venting -- especially now that she opens up the newspaper and the internets to learn that hubby was also entertaining a gay male prostitute in the White House.

It was one thing when it was a boyhood friend from teen-age years ya ya ya but when it's also a paid whore? How much insult is a woman supposed to take?

I have never heard of any other president, except with a last name starting with B, who had to pay for pleasure! What is the point of being the Commander in Chief if you can't, er, command a comp?

The conservation movement is a breeding ground of communists
and other subversives. We intend to clean them out,
even if it means rounding up every birdwatcher in the country.
--John Mitchell, US Attorney General 1969-72

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

113. And I looked, and behold a pale horse

and his name that masturbated him was Chimp.

[BlackVelvetElvis]

114. Payback for the Fox web "article"

That had Kerry obsessed with his manicure.

[buckfush_in_2004]

115. More animal olympics from the ranch.

Click here to see the Crawford cowpoke in action.