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What do you do with traumatic anger and/or disappointment?

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Just Me Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 09:32 PM
Original message
What do you do with traumatic anger and/or disappointment?
How do YOU spend it or channel it? The vast majority of us face the "trauma" of having all those myths and promises and dreams that motivated us to "succeed" (fed to us by our governance, our schools, our parents since birth) destroyed by experience, by reality. We were indocrinated into the "American myth" that "success" will be borne by hard work, moral bearing, education, integrity and a patient persistent application of our unique skills.

The vast majority of us,...have been beaten with the disappointment of having proven those myths and promises,...broken promises and betrayals.

How do you spend that disappointment,...those broken promises and betrayals?

I am thinking that I may not be spending such things,...wisely.
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Dogmudgeon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 09:33 PM
Response to Original message
1. Art
That, or drugs.

I prefer art.

--p!
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Alpharetta Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 09:35 PM
Response to Original message
2. find real goals. achievable goals.
begin with the end in mind, as Richard Covey says.

Decide what you want your tombstone to say. It probably didn't have much to do with the American myth anyway. Then live up to that tombstone.
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saltpoint Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 09:35 PM
Response to Original message
3. Pigwidgeon's answer ("Art") is the sublime response.
Can I second that motion?
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smurfygirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 09:36 PM
Response to Original message
4. I garden or if that's not possible I write my feelings down
and then I can go back to those feelings when they are gone and revisit why I felt that way and see what I have learned from them.

And I always take a breath and count to ten before I say anything aloud when I'm upset. It helps me reflect on those feelings and realize how those feelings aren't doing anything positive for the situation.
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Quixote1818 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 09:37 PM
Response to Original message
5. Poetry and writing Children's books about hope after the storm
nt
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smurfygirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 09:38 PM
Response to Original message
6. by the way, good post.
:applause:
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B Calm Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 09:39 PM
Response to Original message
7. I work for a control freak boss who enjoys having
cheap labor in a dyfunctional workplace. I find relief by shooting up liquor stores late at night (just kidding)...
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Mend Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 09:39 PM
Response to Original message
8. Studies show that kick-boxing really helps....eom
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Quixote1818 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 09:40 PM
Response to Original message
9. Here is a poem I wrote in dealing with my brothers death
Edited on Fri Apr-15-05 09:41 PM by Quixote1818
It's meant to be a children's book


What's A Rainbow Really Do?


Red, yellow, violet, blue,
Orange, green, indigo too.

Here is a little riddle for you,
What's a rainbow REALLY DO?

You see it all started when the earth was young,
And the universe had just begun.

The story of the rainbow came to be,
And with it a message for you and me.

The clouds grew thick and the skies turned gray,
On that mysterious, wonderful, eventful day.

Something magic was in the air,
Something beautiful, something rare.

Violent storm clouds were beginning to grow,
As gusting winds did start to blow.

Then out of nowhere came a brilliant flash,
And seconds later a MIGHTY CRASH!

Blackness overtook the entire sky,
And drops of moisture began to fly.


Dark and gloomy was that day,
Misty, damp with million shades of gray.

But the storm then began to break apart,
And that's when God expressed what was in his heart.

The drops of flying moisture were struck,
By sunlight filled with hope and luck.

Split apart by the raindrops blue,
Creating something of many a hue.

A ribbon of colors began to form,
Snap dab in the middle of that violent storm.

A glowing arch with lots to teach,
And almost impossible to ever reach!

What could it be, what could it be,
Shimmering along the shore of a brackish sea?

It was a GLOWING RAINBOW arching high,
That stretched across the ancient sky!

What a sight it must have been,
The VERY FIRST rainbow as it was then.

From a distance it's majestic gleam,
Shimmering above the rising steam.

While molten lava flowed between,
Ancient mountains into rushing streams.

The surface of the earth was new,
And the earliest oceans were turning blue.

After many years had passed,
Their sprouted a tiny blade of grass.

Soon plants and flowers would begin to bloom,
And natures great riddle would start to boom!

Red, yellow, lavender, blue,
Pink, purple, indigo, too.

Flowers, flowers everywhere,
Painted the landscape with natures loving care.


Microscopic forms of life,
Then became a common sight.

Dinosaurs and mammals too,
Would someday see a rainbows hue.

Primates then would walk the land,
And a million years later our ancestors would stand.

Dreams, inventions not then seen,
Have now become a common theme.

Like super fast computer chips,
And planetary trips on rocket ships.

From mother earth did all this grow,
And through out time all life would know; the beauty of a rainbows glow.

For hidden in the sun and soil,
Is natures riddle in which we toil.

But if you follow a rainbows glow,
The truth thats hidden you will know.

If you're kind and if you're true,
You can certainly see it to.

It's in the golden sun above,
It's in the souls of those you love.

It's in the stars and in the sky,
It's even in mom's apple pie.

What is it you reply?
A piece of magic that will never die.

For all the answers to which we exist,
Lye in the wisdom of a rainbows mist.

Those glowing colors arching high,
Are there to teach your soul to fly.

For every child holds the key,
To all of life's great mysteries.


Though on your own you will find no bliss,
So always, always remember this.

For the most important part of natures great riddle,
Are those who suffer and have very little.

So as you rest in your warm safe home,
Think of those who are all alone, with no one to talk to on the phone.

And think of those who live in pain,
Who's lives depend upon the rain.

When drought and famine plague the land,
They desperately wait for a helping hand.

Or for the day again they will know,
The touch of rain upon their soul, and the beauty of a rainbows glow.

But if you're filled with love and dreams,
You can do most anything!

And with a little love and care,
All pain and hunger can disappear.

And peace on earth can truly be,
The norm for every day to be.

Anything is possible you see,
It's totally up to you and me!

And like a flower what will blossom?
A heaven on earth that's truly awesome!

Red, yellow, violet, blue,
Orange, green, indigo too.

If you follow a rainbows glow,
The truth thats hidden you will know.

So the next time you see a rainbows glow
Remember all that you now know.

That love and magic live within,
Everything thats ever been.
A rainbow is the archway you see,
To love, peace and harmony.

Just remember you hold the key,
To impossible dreams and mystery.


That was the message that lived within,
The very first rainbow as it was then.

Shimmering over the barren land,
Waiting for someone to understand.

The greatest riddle is here at hand,
And impossible dreams can rule the land!
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Lars39 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 09:49 PM
Response to Reply #9
15. That was beautiful.
I'm so sorry for your loss. :hug:
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Quixote1818 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 09:58 PM
Response to Reply #15
20. Thanks for your kind words
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Ironpost Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 09:55 PM
Response to Reply #9
18. that was excellent, sorry for your loss
thanks for sharing with us. That made my day.
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Quixote1818 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 09:59 PM
Response to Reply #18
21. Thanks so much
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 09:41 PM
Response to Original message
10. Well, I can tell you what I can control... and what I do:
I post on DU. And other forums. That's what I do. And while I try to show constraint, I will speak my mind, my gut, my passions, and my emotions.

Can't do much in the real world, so why not rant in cyberland?

Except find positive ways to cope and survive, in the real world. I refuse to let circumstances destroy my spirit. That is the only thing I CAN control. And nobody will take it from me.
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Ironpost Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 09:45 PM
Response to Original message
11. I try to find someone that I can cheer up and that always works for me.
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LdyGuique Donating Member (610 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 09:48 PM
Response to Reply #11
13. Now, I usually can find someone cheery and make them worry
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Johnny Noshoes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 09:52 PM
Response to Reply #11
17. I like that
sounds like a good idea to me. :toast:
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Solly Mack Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 09:47 PM
Response to Original message
12. Honestly?
I wasn't born into a family that bought into the myth. People have different experiences and because of many factors...such as my mother's family being burned out by the Klan among them....some of us don't grow up thinking "America is for us" ...since so many examples show us differently. You grow up knowing that government and people say one thing but mean another...that while they say "anyone can President"...what they really mean is "anyone but people like you"....for example.

My anger isn't that the "America Dream" is a lie....it's more a case of wondering why more people can't see it for themselves. Sure, it sounds nice...but it's the reality that matters.

As for my anger...sometimes I explode...without regrets. Sometimes I try to discuss the problems and sometimes I think it's just not worth the effort.
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Quixote1818 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 09:49 PM
Response to Original message
14. Some words from a Hollocaust Victom: Viktor Frankl
On Choosing One's Attitude
"Everything can be taken from a man but ...the last of the human freedoms - to choose
one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way." p.104

"There is also purpose in life which is almost barren of both creation and enjoyment and which admits of but one possibility of high moral behavior: namely, in man's attitude to his existence, an existence restricted by external forces." p.106


From Man's Search For Meaning
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proud patriot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 09:51 PM
Response to Original message
16. Heavy Metal and Punk music
:headbang:
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kerry-is-my-prez Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 09:56 PM
Response to Original message
19. Happiness is in enjoying the small things on your "off" time....
I do have to keep up with what's going on in this country and world - which is painful BUT I also make it a point to concentrate on the simple things to enjoy often. I live in Florida so there is always the sunshine, swimming in the pool and the greenery/nature/wildlife here.
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PA Mamma Donating Member (584 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 10:27 PM
Response to Original message
22. First I cry ...
A lot ! Then I grab my kids and hug them. And turn on music and dance.
Now, I get out there and do something - anything about it!
But It's not like a one time deal -- keeps reaccurring -- I am having a bad night tonight, actually.

But we must keep going -- we must !
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sandnsea Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-15-05 10:58 PM
Response to Original message
23. I don't know, but
my 19 year old incredibly pragmatic son says people who buy into that are idiots. They aren't going to be rich, they aren't going to be famous. We're all going to have a mundane life with a median paying job and if we're really lucky, a family, home and a vacation once in a while. He has NO expectations. He wants no stress in his life, so he's planning on becoming a PE teacher. Yes kids could be a stress to some, except if you don't plan on putting alot of unreasonable expectations on them either.

I don't know if this is healthy or not, but he plods along, tends to succeed whenever he puts his mind to it, and is one of the most balanced people I've ever known.

Me, I float between anger, depression, worry, and just plain sadness for everybody in the same boat.

:shrug:
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